The Time For Peace
by Vacant Voice
Summary: Shepard and Tali fight to save the galaxy, but mostly to see each other again. To return to each other and find peace in the aftermath of the reaper battle. My take on the ending of ME3. I do not own Mass Effect nor its characters, they belong to Bioware.
1. Chapter 1: No Promises

**Authors Note: Yeah, I'm late to the Mass Effect Fan Club. This is my view on what could've happened after ME3. This is a Male Shepard and Tali pairing. I made Shepard 3 years younger in this story. Mass Effect and its characters are owned by Bioware, not me.**

* * *

She was a nervous wreck, and when she's nervous, she can't help but start wringing her hands. She thought back to what seemed like the last time they will ever see each other. The sheer pain at the memory only made her wringing worse.

 _Come back to me._

She repeated this thought over and over until it felt like the only words she knew, and again his words prior her plea kept coming back to her. She let a small tear fall from her luminescent eyes, hidden from the world by her purple visor.

 _Go back to Rannoch, build yourself a home._

She remembered the lack of an answer from him when she reached out her arm, hoping against hope that he would change his mind and leave with her. But she knew that wasn't John Shepard. He would never leave a task unfinished and, as much as the thought pained her, would never make a promise he couldn't keep.

 _No! He has to come back, it would never be a home without him! I already lost him once, I can't lose him again, not after all we've been through. Ancestors, please protect him!_

She was leaning against her Turian friend, Garrus Vakarian, as they were both led to the Normandy's medbay. She must have let out a small whimper, because Garrus started to rub her shoulder, trying to put in as much comfort as possible, "Shh...shh, he'll be alright," he whispered, trying to console her as you would a small child. After all, the two were like siblings. "He'll be okay, I'm sure."

"How?" She quietly sobbed, "how can you be so sure?"

"Are you kidding?" His mandibles twitched, "we're talking about the one and only Commander Shepard here! Two time galaxy saver, and he's doing it a third time!"

She let her other eye release a trickle of water, "But we were there WITH him, Garrus! He's all alone now!" She sniffled as she remembered him dashing off toward the battlefield, looking all alone, helpless, relying on nothing but the armor on his back and the gun in his hands. She buried herself in Garrus's arms, letting a sob wrack her body. "I know..." Garrus trailed off in thought, but picked it up again a few moments later, "but I like to think that he isn't alone, that we're in his heart, he's thinking of us next to him as he runs off to save us all, I bet Thane and Mordin are with him, as well." She hugged Garrus tighter, "Keelah, I'm just so worried." She started to cough, they have arrived to the medbay.

Doctor Chakwas looked up, Tali knew she returned to the Normandy shortly after attending to other medical business on the planet. She was reluctant to leave, of course. Leaving what seemed like billions of wounded to other medical staff. But it seemed all of those thoughts dropped once the Doctor laid eyes on her. She knew Chakwas left because she expected the Normandy to have wounded, but she could tell that she was one of the last few Chakwas wanted to see.

 _"Disengagement and Evacuation in 3...2...1..."_

Joker counted down over the intercom and the shift of movement told the crew that the Normandy was going into space. Clearly it was no easy task, as Joker was dodging other ships and the vibrations coming from their guns didn't help.

"Oh dear, bring her over here." Chakwas motioned to a bed. She struggled to keep the worry out of her voice and instead tried to lace it with soothing, as a mother would. "Lay her down carefully." Garrus obliged and picked up Tali, she refused to put her arms around his neck, something she reserved for John, and also doing so would be pretty awkward. So she settled by resting her helmet in his shoulder and her hands in her lap until Garrus set her down onto the bed, sheets tight so they wouldn't get in the way.

"I'll bring myself back, but right now I have duties to do," Garrus said with force. He wasn't as bad off as Tali, but he was in bad shape nonetheless. Blueish blood coated his armor. Chakwas started to protest but Garrus already left the room. She yelled after him, "Be back ASAP!"

Chakwas quickly scanned the young Quarian Admiral and saw multiple suit ruptures, red blood oozing from the skin tight rubber. Some soaked into the tattered purple cloth wrappings, turning it into a sickly maroon. Shrapnel imbedded into her skin in some of the ruptures, quivering with every cough that Tali made. Chakwas finally showed signs of fear, making Tali uncomfortable.

She took a scan of the body underneath the suit, red glowed where infections started and dark cobalt where her body wasn't touched. It seemed like she was littered with red ants, growing a colony. She checked the surface and felt hard indents. The Quarian had already locked down sections of her suit. "Good..." The Doctor simply said. She next held a tool up to her head, red glowed and human numbers appeared. Chakwas was alarmed as the number had three digits, but Tali quickly activated the cooling system, encasing her head with sudden cold, and the Doctor relaxed as the numbers slowly crossed the bridge to two digits, threatening to return to the other side. Tali guessed that she should be alright, but only should.

"Thanks for doing a part of my job Tali, I appreciate it," Chakwas said with humor, trying to lighten the mood. Tali sneezed with a laugh. "Bless you," the Doctor replied warmly and turned away to look for more medical supplies. Tali raised an eyebrow, her eye wider than the other. She heard John say the same phrase before to her and she asked why, only to have his answer be that he himself didn't know other than it was a human tradition. She couldn't tell if she made a suitable questioning look through her mask. But the Doctor answered her without even turning around. "Human tradition, it is believed that the soul escapes through the nose when someone sneezes, so they say, 'bless you,' to keep the devil from capturing it. Another belief was that the heart stops momentarily, saying the phrase welcomes the person back to life," Chakwas found what she was looking for and tossed it into the medkit next to her, picking it up and turned around towards Tali, "but now we generally say it just to be nice."

Tali smiled weakly. "The only thing that's captured my soul is John." Her mind wrapped in happy memories as she thumbed a certain rock in her pouch. "Makes sense, that man is what we humans might say, 'devilishly handsome,'" Tali's ribs hurt from her laugh and Chakwas smiled. Tali thought it was odd, to be having a lighthearted conversation as if it was any regular day while the galaxy was at war on the planet below them, where guns blazed and bodies fell, never to emit another beautiful song of laughter, instead, horror was permanently scarred on their cold, empty faces. "I hear some even call him, 'the devil of the battlefield.'"

The comment reminded her where he was now, and the promise he didn't make, the words he said to prepare her to be separated from him for the rest of her life. Her mind burned with worry, "John..." Then absolute terror. "John!" Chakwas was at her side in an instant to stop her from getting out of bed. "Hey, hey, hey!" She started wheeling the bed over to the recently installed decontamination chamber, only to pause to look Tali in the eyes with steel in her irises. "He'll be okay, but right now I need you to slow down your breathing, you're only going to make things worse for yourself."

"I can't, he's in danger! You don't understand, I might not ever see him again!"

"Tali, calm down! That's a doctor's order!" Chakwas roared.

Tali gasped at the the Doctor's sudden surge of anger. Chakwas took notice of this and she sagged like a deflated balloon. "I'm sorry, but I need you to remain calm, you're going to lose a lot of blood if you don't." Tali's tears returned to replenish her dry cheeks. "But John," she started as she crossed the threshold to the decontamination chamber and it went through its protocol of cleaning. "He said to return to my homeworld, to build myself a home, he said it like he was going to die!"

Chakwas cursed under her breath. "I'm going to kill him myself." _If he comes back._ Tali finished sadly.

Doctor Chakwas prepped Tali for cleaning. Taking off the bloodied purple hood and cloth and hooking an oxygen tube to the port underneath Tali's helmet and putting an oxygen mask over her own face to keep her germs away from the Quarian. She snapped on two blue latex gloves and revealed a syringe with some fluid inside and a needle protruding from the other end. Tali rolled her arm over as in second nature, but gasped as pain shot through. Chakwas found the port made for injections, and slid the needle into her arm, pushing the odd fluid into her body.

Tali immediately felt numb. She couldn't feel anything, not even the needle that quickly left her. "That should both lessen the blood loss and numb the pressure," Chakwas explained, turning around and latching a bag of fluid into her system, "and this should make sure that you are gaining rather than losing blood." She grabbed another needle and held it up for Tali to inspect, "I'm sorry, Tali, but I'm going to have to give you a mild sedative, should only make you sleep for an hour, don't worry, it's perfectly compatible with the numbing shot."

Tali wasn't worried about the sedative, she had complete trust in the older woman. Instead she feared for the man she loves, knowing that no one was there to help him, no one that protected his back with shotgun fire, knowing that _she_ wasn't there to pick him up if he fell down. Not wanting to be aware of her worries, Tali looked at the needle, "Knock me out, Doc."

With that, the Doctor poked the port on her neck and darkness washed over Tali's vision like the gentle lapping of waves on the shores of Rannoch.

Somewhere on the Citadel, the man she wanted to share those shores with struggled to launch the Crucible to save all life from the destruction of Harbinger and his family of uninvited reapers.

* * *

 **Authors Note: This is short, but it's just the introduction, I promise for longer chapters in the future. Also, I'm very new to this so bear with me. Thank you!**


	2. Chapter 2: Nothing Matters

She did not dream.

It was only black, dark...empty.

She wasn't fazed, confused, or even frightened. She _knew_ that she was asleep, but she lacked the ability to care. There was no reason to. She didn't feel anything. Emotions had no place in this...place. Emotions were irrelevant, pointless, mundane even. The only thing that came to her was understanding. She understood the blank environment she was in. She understood everything about it. Its blackness...its darkness...its emptiness...its shadows...its _silence..._ its _vacancy..._

Everything outside of her head did not matter, Nothing mattered. and she understood every detail about it.

Then emotions did come, but only in small doses. She felt a small sense of a pleasant surprise as Nothing produced to her a gift. The shadows unwrapped around it, revealing it to her eyes.

The gift had two legs, arms, ears and eyes. It also had a torso, head, mouth and nose, and a heartwarming grin and a light to its brilliant blue eyes. She noticed that the gift oddly had extra digits on its hands and it seemed to magically stand on its own without the curve to its calves. The gift was also armored, black, with a long white stripe going down its right arm and a thinner red one overlapping it. Upon its chestplate she noticed an odd letter and a number, something that she knew.

She smiled, she wanted this for so long, and finally she had it. She drank in every detail about her gift, joy and love filling her heart. What did she do to receive such a gift? She didn't deserve it. Nothing seemed to know that, and it revealed its intentions. Fear then struck and gripped her heart.

Nothing's shadowy tendrils began to circle around her gift's legs. _No._ It licked at the armor without mercy. She watched in horror as the gift still held its smile, but the light in its eyes turned into an unbearable sadness. She understood why the gift had to go. But that didn't stop her from trying to keep it for a little longer. She opened her mouth to scream at Nothing, but no noise came. She tried again, and the same result occurred. She thought as hard as she could in her head, hoping that the words would leave her mouth.

 _Please, I just want to see_ him... _one last time._

She understood why the gift had to go. Nothing's tendrils wrapped around the gift and shadows drank it, sealing it from sight, enveloping him into a sea of blackness. She again tried to yell at Nothing, pleading to produce the gift again. But she knew that it was no use, the gift wasn't returning. She settled for the infinite sadness swirling like a storm inside of her. She understood Nothing. She poured everything into her gift, her very soul and being went into him. Now, she felt hollow, an empty shell, a ghost of what she once was.

She understood Nothing. She kneeled down in sorrow. Nothing's tendrils began to circle her, but she didn't care. She held onto Nothing. She understands it, and she became its friend. She wanted to stay forever with it. After all, misery loves company.

Then light shot through the darkness, Nothing released her and recoiled from it. She looked to the light, it seemed to promise her something she didn't want. Her time has come, but she didn't want to leave. She wanted to stay here, to converse with Nothing, her friend. But she understood why she had to leave. She looked sadly to Nothing, a small tear forming in her eye. Nothing seemed to understand why she had to leave, it wasn't her place to stay, it shook its tendrils, as if nodding its approval.

She found the beauty in the pain, but she couldn't stay longer to admire it. She did not want to leave her new friend, but she had to go. She nodded her own appreciation back to Nothing.

 _Thank you...for Everything._

She turned her head to the light and grasped onto one of its own tendrils inviting her somewhere, this time, she was holding onto Something. She stood as the light enveloped her, taking her beyond.

Her eyes fluttered open as everything that just happened was forgotten. Instead, her old memories returned.

She did not dream.

The first thing she noticed was the purple tint her visor made her view. Next she noticed that she wasn't in a regular bed in a regular room. _Where am I again?_ The room had glass scaling around with a pearly white floor and ceiling with walls encasing the glass. She instantly remembered where she was. Behind the glass were silver boxes hanging on the walls glowing a light blue. _Is the decontamination room...in the server room?_ It was. She was near EDI's, "brain." The hum echoed throughout the chamber.

The next thing she noticed was the black bandages that wrapped around her. _Right, suit ruptures._ She tried to prop herself on her elbows, only to have pain shoot through her. She hissed and laid herself back down. The numbing shot must've worn off. She also noticed that the bandages she didn't see, she felt underneath her suit to stop blood loss. She quickly saw the flaw in this. _How am I supposed to take off the inner bandages without ruining the outer ones for my suit?_

She looked through her toes through the doorway into the medbay and saw Doctor Chakwas standing with a datapad in one hand and some sort of medkit in the other. She gazed over to her right and saw a seat and a desk where her purple cloth was cleaned and folded, with her other suit ornaments laid on top of it. Near the seat were her boots, the boot knife still strapped to the left one snugly.

"Doctor Chakwas, my readings tell me that Miss Zorah has regained conscience," came EDI's robotic voice. The Quarian let out a painful cough in reply. She then noticed how sick she was, her head pounded from a headache, her sinuses felt stuffed to the brim, she still ran a mild fever, and her nose was stuffy. _Worst...mix...ever._ The Doctor set down the datapad on her desk and hoisted the medkit near her waist, swiftly crossing into the decontamination chamber.

"Tali, thank goodness that you're alright," Chakwas said as she set the medkit next to her cloth on the desk and sat down in the chair. "You were fidgeting in your sleep, made it hard to remove all the shrapnel." Tali felt vibrations from other ships guns stir the air.

"Did we win yet?" Tali asked weakly.

"The Crucible has been docked for awhile," The Doctor replied, "but its still yet to fire. Reports say that Commander Shepard is figuring out how to get it going."

Tali smiled at the name, "Thank the Ancestors, he's alive!" But a question formed quickly in her mind. "We have been fighting for over an hour?" Tali felt the galaxy crumble around her little area of peace.

"You woke up a little early, dear. I'd give you a good ten minutes early."

Doctor Chakwas stayed with the Quarian to keep her company. It was nerve wracking, the waiting, not knowing whether or not they were going to get blown out of the sky. Several minutes passed by, and Tali tried to break the anticipating silence, but as if on cue, a voice sounded.

 _"Commander Shepard did it! The Crucible is firing!"_

Tali recognized the voice and she struggled to remember who it was, but after a few seconds she gave up and allowed a mix of happiness and relief to fill her. "My, my, the Commander actually did it!" The Doctor whispered, looking out the door. Tali smiled and raised a protesting arm to grab the Doctor's forearm who quickly returned her gaze to Tali, who grasped it tighter, "He did do it, he won, he saved us, he finally won." Even though she couldn't see her face, Doctor Chakwas returned her smile. Tali felt the only thing in her body that didn't feel any pain was her heart, instead it was filled with love for the man, and even more so from what he just accomplished. _Soon, we will be living on Rannoch, in_ our _home._ She thought sweetly.

They both gasped as the Crucible's vibrations shook the Normandy, and felt gravity push harder on them as the ship lurched forward and jumped into FTL. It felt as if the Normandy was running as if all hell was following them, little did they know, that's what was exactly happening.

"Keelah, what is going on?"

* * *

Joker struggled to keep the Normandy from being shook to bits. He grabbed the controls and trashed the warning signs that kept popping up. Garrus just returned from the medbay and was with him on the bridge alongside Specialist Traynor. The comms crackled to life.

 _"All fleets, the Crucible is armed. Disengage and head to the Rendezvous Point."_

Garrus tried to grab Joker's shoulder but he shrugged it off. _I'm not leaving the Commander...again._

 _"I repeat, disengage and get the hell out of here."_

Garrus tried again a second time, "Joker listen, we have to go." Joker clenched his fist and cursed. _How am I gonna explain this to Tali?_ He reluctantly jumped the Normandy to FTL.

But it wasn't over.

Hell chased them in the form of an orange glowing ball. Joker kept grabbing different controls, trying anything to get the Normandy to move faster, EDI hard at work next to him. Fear gripped him and he cursed his bones, convinced that they didn't let him move faster. "Jeff," EDI started. "Not now, EDI, we're about to get screwed!"

"Jeff!" Joker immediately paused and looked over. Did he just hear...fear? His eyes widened at the absolute terror that showed on the AI's face. She was gripping something in the back of her head. "Get...me...to...Tali!"

With that, EDI ripped out some kind of chip in the back of her head and instantly shut down, leaving just Joker as hell overtook them.

"EDI!" Joker screamed at the lifeless robot next to him.

But he had little time to pay attention to the metallic corpse that was slumped over in the chair. The Normandy got screwed, it just dropped off of FTL. Controls were blinking and systems were shutting down. _We need to land!_ Joker looked around and saw a planet just below them. Joker looked back at Garrus and Traynor, shock plastered over their faces. Without looking he turned on the intercom. "We're going to make a crash landing!" They nodded their heads and ran off to prepare themselves.

The planet grew bigger and the Normandy flew dangerously fast through its clouds. Joker stabilized the ship and kept it parallel to the ground. He looked over systems to see how he could make the Normandy's descent slower. "Brace for impact!"

The Normandy rattled, threatening to throw Joker out of his seat. Hard crashes and thumps were heard as the Normandy's hull scoured the trees in the forest on the planet. The Normandy slowed down sharply, and then, an abrupt stop and a loud crash. _Well that was sure something._

Joker saw damage reports flood his piloting terminal. Gases emitted all around the Normandy. Joker scanned everything to make sure the ship wasn't going to explode. Taking a few moments he leaned back, satisfied with his work. _Everything seems ship shape._ He chuckled at his lame pun. "EDI, run diagnostics and a supply report, we need to know how long it'll be before we can get off this rock." He received no answer. Confused, he looked to the seat on his right. "EDI?"

He saw her body slumped over, clutching something to her cold chest. "EDI!" He hobbled out of his seat as fast as he could over to the copilot's chair. He grabbed her shoulder and leaned her back onto the seat, her hand falling down to her lap, fingers curled. "EDI! Talk to me!" Her cold eyes stared back at him...dead. The sight shocked him, threatening him with grief until he remembered her words.

 _Get me to Tali._

He looked to her clenched fist. Carefully, he undid her fingers to reveal a large chrome chip that had a singular, glowing blue light running down the side. On the front stood some numbers and letters, MEM-EDI CERB-AI UN:549. He softly put the treasure into his left hand, curling his own fingers hard over its surface. _Nothing will take this from me._ He interlaced his fingers on his right hand with EDI's, her hum of life nonexistent.

"Joker! Where are we?" Garrus's voice sounded as he entered the bridge. He stopped short at the sight. Joker looked up to him with sorrow in his eyes. Garrus stumbled over his words, "Joker." He answered him, "I don't know, we're lost." _Without her._

"Joker...I-I'm so sorry."

"Don't be...I should have left sooner than I did."

Guilt gnawed at him. The memory flashed in his mind's eye of the Citadel, explosions erupting and pieces falling to Earth. It was a horror show. _I failed one friend twice, and now I might have failed another._

Grief flooded them over their fallen Commander. But they remained in denial for a few moments, hardly wanting to speak. Soon reasoning prevailed, there was no way the Commander could have survived the hell that was displayed.

Finally Garrus broke the silence. "Come on Joker, the sooner we get off this planet the sooner we get an understanding of where we are." He nodded his agreement and stood up, setting EDI's chip in a small clip on pocket. "Let's go assess the damage," he replied.

He followed Garrus off the bridge towards the airlock. Thoughts stormed through his mind. His mixture of relief at the reapers destruction, the confusion of the planet's location, the sorrow of EDI's incarceration, and the pain of failing his friend...twice.

"Joker, what happened? Where are we?" The thick stuffy accented tone jumped him from his thoughts and he spun around to see a purple visor and glowing eyes staring at him, filled with questions.

 _Not only did I fail my friend...I failed his girlfriend, too._

He felt the guilt rip at him like a pack of dogs trying to tear the flesh from his bones. He fought back tears as he responded, "I don't know, but we need to figure out where we are and figure out repairs for the ship. Would you like to come explore with me?" Joker didn't know why he asked the question, the last thing he wanted was the reminder of his failure walking around with him and talking to him like nothing happened.

"But why did we jump to-"

"Not now Tali, bearings first," Joker interrupted.

Tali's eyes narrowed at him, filled with suspicion as she folded her arms. But she seemed to know that she wasn't going to get anywhere.

"Fine, I'll go exploring with you. Be careful, though."

"Always am."

Joker was thankful that Garrus remained silent through all of this as they reached the airlock and activated it. It's doors creaked open as lush green trees and bushes with rich soil surrounded by boulders was revealed to them. Joker was the first to leave the ship, carefully picking his path down the heap of rocks that built up on the Normandy.

He raised his hand to shield his eyes from the bright sun, negating the purpose to his SR-2 ball cap. In the sky he saw a large planet and another astral body he assumed was a moon in front of it, the moon looking like a thin, curled claw in the sky. Sounds of alien birds chirped and called throughout the forest with an undertone of rushing water.

That's when he noticed Tali next to him. He and the Quarian shared a quick glance and looked out at the scenery. Heavy footsteps told them that Garrus had followed them outside.

 _Nice view, but I still have no idea where we are._

Tali then broke the silence with her thick, honeyed accent.

"Let's get to work."

* * *

 **Authors Note: Another fairly short chapter, but I wanted to get this done. I noticed how difficult to try to write long chapters, trying to fit in details without making things repetitive and boring. The next chapter also might be short, but my plans afterward might help extend things for your reading pleasure. I'd also like to know your thoughts on the symbolism at the beginning of the chapter. Thank you!**


	3. Chapter 3: One Last Time

Tali was confused and frustrated. But not just because of the wires she was working on. She was under the ship working on getting systems online and some bosh'tet decided to make a plug as large as the space it went into, making it near impossible to pull out. _I shouldn't complain about the people who made a cutting edge frigate, but whoever put this here, what were you thinking?!_ She fumed. _How did you manage to plug this in in the first place?_

But her underlying frustration came from the fact that nobody seemed to want to answer her about what happened. How come nobody was happy that the war was over? She guessed that being lost would put a damp on the success, but she didn't expect the other crewmen to take it this hard. They were lost, yes, but in a couple of days to a week and this ship will be off the ground heading home. _Are we further away than I expected? Why did we jump to FTL in the first place?_

She gave up and grabbed a sharp rock and started hitting the area the wire was plugged in, hoping to make the area larger. _It's a risk, hopefully I don't break anything._ She banged the area with controlled force until she made a dent in the plastic. Sighing with relief, she tugged the plug out of its outlet. However, she didn't find the problem. She noticed two screws holding the outlet in place, she growled in irritation. She's been trying to figure out how to get this system online for the past day and without EDI, she had to manually find the problem herself.

Without averting her gaze she held her hand backwards, "Hey Ken, can you hand me the small screwdriver in the large pocket on the right side of my tool bag, please?" She heard a metallic knock and a ruffle of leaves.

"Aye, sure thing, lass. But go easy on the ship, we don't need it more broken than it already is, don'tcha think?" He said over the clinks of tools.

"I'm sure I know perfectly well what I'm doing, thank you," Tali snarled.

"Oi! Who soiled your breakfast?"

"Ken, by the Ancestors, if you don't hurry up and give me the stupid wrench-"

"Screwdriver."

"-Screwdriver! Then I won't hesitate to introduce you to my shotgun!"

"Why do you have to threaten everyone with a shotgun?"

Tali was nearing her breaking point. "Because of idiots like you who keep messing with everything!" Her head boiled, which wasn't making her sickness go away any faster. She let out a sniffle. Technically she wasn't supposed to be working, but she couldn't stand by without doing anything.

"Okay, jeez...is this the screwdriver you wanted?"

Tali turned around and saw Kenneth covered in grease, his red hair caked with black. Despite her outburst, Tali stifled a giggle. She looked at the rod of silver, satisfied, she increased her reach. "Yeah, give it here." Kenneth tossed the screwdriver neatly to her, where she caught it without trouble and began unscrewing the outlet. Putting the screws in one of her pockets she began to peel the outlet out, making sure she didn't rip any wires behind it.

Guilt gnawed at Tali, she shouldn't have snapped at Kenneth, one of her friends, like that. She looked for something to break the silence while she immediately found the problem in a small, silver oval like object hooked up to the wires that was blinking red. She slowly removed it and started to inspect it. _Capacitor lockup._

"So, how are you and Gabby doing?" Tali asked as she unfolded the metal plates to the object. "You heard about that didn't ya?" Kenneth grunted over a loud knock. "We're actually doing swell, but we're still yet to see how our ship sails." The conversation died right there, it was very uncomfortable. Tali felt a latch and gripped it, causing something to snap in place. The object's plates automatically folded over when Tali removed her fingers. It then stretched itself apart into a rectangular shape, the blinking red light replaced by a solid green. _System online._ She stuffed it back in the hole and began working on screwing the outlet back in.

"Look, Tali, I'm sorry for pushing your buttons," Kenneth piped. Tali plugged the wires back into the outlet and hefted the metal shell near her feet over it. "Ken, if anyone should be apologizing, it's me. I shouldn't have snapped at you like that," she replied as she watched the shell sink into the ship.

"I know, but it was my fault for antagonizing you in the first place, I know you're having a hard time right now." Tali spun on her heel and looked towards Kenneth, sprawled on his back and hidden by the tallgrass. "A hard time with what?" She asked, an eyebrow perked in curiosity.

This time it was Kenneth's turn to be confused. He craned his neck and poked his head through the plant growth, with his own eyebrow raised, "You know...er...you know?" Tali shook her head, she didn't know. Kenneth seemed very reluctant to say what was on his mind. "You know...the uh...Citadel...blowing up?"

 _Wait...what?_

Tali didn't feel anything at first, her mind was just a blank page. She didn't know how to take the news. _Why would I specifically have a hard time with the Citadel blowing up?_ She didn't dare think of an answer.

Then a mix of fear and anger sunk into her skin, but she couldn't feel herself. She felt...disconnected. Her mind was out of her body. She didn't feel herself move, as if the constant rage in her had the power to carry her from one side of the galaxy to the other without even breaking a sweat. Although she wasn't commanding her feet to move, her vision was carried up the pile of boulders up to the Normandy's airlock. Her numb arms reached and opened the doors.

"Ay, where are you going?"

All the thoughts in her head asked the same angry question but rearranged its words. _Why won't anyone tell me what happened?_ The airlock closed behind and her legs carried her to the bridge and she stormed in to see Joker and Garrus having a quiet and suspicious conversation. They promptly looked up and their eyes widened at the sight of their Quarian visitor. They were reluctant to speak, filling the room with a few moments of haunting silence. The Human and the Turian both exchanged a quick glance before looking back to her. Garrus grunted, he was the first to speak.

"Tali, we actually just, uh, wanted to speak with you."

She snapped.

"Well, you have me! But first, you bosh'tets are going to answer to me!" Joker and Garrus had fear plastered on their faces. She never cursed lightly.

"Where are we? Why did we jump to FTL? What happened? Nobody wants to answer me and now I have Kenneth outside telling me that the Citadel just got destroyed!"

They both groaned, this infuriated her to no end. She hated the waiting.

"What happened!" She said forcefully. They kept silent, exchanging a fearful glance.

"WHAT... _HAPPENED?!"_

Garrus cleared his throat and raised his arm to her shoulder, "Tali..." She slapped his hand away. "Don't you, 'Tali,' me!" She hissed.

She was beyond pissed off. A fraction of anger away from grabbing her shotgun and threatening them with it. She could already imagine aiming at them through the sights, their faces paling from the barrel pointed at them. She spoke again, "What...happened," she whispered, laced with venom, promising a chilled death.

He cleared his throat again, "W-well uh," he stammered, "um, how do I say this."

He finally found a grip on his confidence, "The reason why we jumped to FTL was because the Crucible released some orange ball of pure hell energy, we were running away from it...and it caught up to us, that's why," he hesitated, "EDI's...gone, and that's why we are on an uncharted planet. The blast also tore apart the Citadel."

Tali's heart beat faster as she asked her next question, "How come nobody wanted to tell me this?" Both Garrus and Joker looked beyond uncomfortable, sweat was already starting to form on Joker's forehead. Garrus then revealed something that was in his other hand, it was long and covered in a black cloth. He slowly put it in her hand, "Because of that." She looked down, fearing what it was. "Come on Joker, let's give Tali some time to process." Joker agreed quickly and left the bridge just as fast, Garrus falling in behind him as he called over his shoulder to Tali, "Meet us on the crew deck in an hour."

She didn't look at them leave, she stared hard at the mystery object in her hand. She had a general idea of what it was, but she didn't dare pursue the thought. It felt like years before she carefully put her hand on the cloth and dragged it off of what was under it. Her worst fears came to light as she saw the thing was long and blue with white lettering across it.

 _COMMANDER SHEPARD_

Her heart stopped and dropped to her stomach and her brain refused all thought. She simply stared, hypnotized. The nameplate felt heavy in her hands, like a headstone. She didn't cry, she was numb. She couldn't believe it. She _wouldn't_ believe it. This was impossible, it couldn't be done. Her limbs felt heavy, she backed into a wall and slid down it. She put the nameplate to her chest and hugged her legs. Her thoughts only allowed so little.

 _My bondmate...dead._

Yet, she still didn't cry, no matter how much she wanted to. Instead her mind burned in agony and her heart felt of stone. She let out a few involuntary whimpers. She stayed there on the floor, rocking a little, looking for any source of calm and utilizing it. She clawed at her suit, begging for any comfort it might have. Nothing sufficed. Her head repeated _No_ over and over. She looked to the clock, thirty minutes had passed since Garrus and Joker left the room.

Her stomach growled. She slowly picked herself up and briskly walked down towards the ship's mess hall and kitchen, ignoring everyone's glances at her. Entering the kitchen she immediately walked to the small dextro section, opening the cabinets to see what would calm her raging stomach. She found only one thing she could've immediately dug into without having to heat up. She carefully tugged at a nutrient paste tube and read its label, _"Pofikref,"_ a dextro food similar to crackers. She didn't care.

She fit the tube under her visor and began eating the dry, tasteless paste. Because of its boring texture, it took her awhile to finish it. Afterwards she grabbed another tube and began eating that one. She took a look again at the cabinet and found a hidden bottle of Turian brandy, she could use it to wash down the dryness in her mouth. She started to reach for it and stopped herself. She promised herself that she would give up alcohol after the party in the apartment on the Citadel. John was fully supportive and even took the challenge with her.

She cursed and slammed the cabinet shut and instead grabbed a water tube. It was immediately sucked dry and placed in a green bin. That's when her head felt heavy and she started to rest her eyes. Slumping over on a stool and resting her helmeted head on the counter.

Her biological clock ticked and she raised her groggy eyes to the clock in her visor. She had a minute to meet Garrus and Joker on the crew deck. She stretched off of the stool and found that she was still clutching the nameplate as if it was life itself. She walked an average pace towards the crew deck.

When she got there, she was surprised that it wasn't just Garrus and Joker. Liara, Kaiden, Javik, James, and Jacob were there, too. All eyes dragged towards her and she felt hot under her suit. It was deathly silent as they all gathered around the Memorial Wall. Like her own nameplate, Garrus and Joker each had one, too. No words were spoken, there was no need.

Joker then took the initiative and walked forward slowly, calm and collected. He picked up his nameplate and placed it on the top right of the wall, muttering something. He turned around, patted his pocket, and walked back to the group revealing EDI's name. Tali couldn't help but notice that Joker was handling the loss fairly well, unlike her.

Next it was Garrus's turn. Her curiosity spiked as he walked towards the center of the wall. _Who else died?_ He placed it front and center between the two sides of names. He turned around to reveal another shock to Tali.

 _ADM DAVID ANDERSON_

A small amount of rage boiled in the pit of her stomach. _When will they stop keeping secrets from me?_ She instantly calmed down as she looked at the plate in her hands, now wasn't the time. Numbly her feet carried her forward to the center of the wall, she looked up at it. Then the emotions pooled.

She couldn't do it. To do it meant to make his death definite, permanent. Her heart cracked and finally, she started to cry.

"I can't," she whimpered. With that, time slowed as she dropped the name and ran past the group, brushing off their stares. She went into the elevator and jabbed the button that indicated Deck 1 and slumped down on her knees on the wall.

Tears pooled out of her heart as she gasped and sobbed, letting out a few sniffles. She hadn't been to Shepard's cabin since the battle on Earth, but now it seemed to be her only source of comfort. She heard the room decontaminate before the doors opened, something that was recently installed. She sobbed at how she remembered how Shepard went beyond great lengths to keep her safe.

She waited for the extra door to open and she stormed inside. Rage mixed with sadness as the door closed behind her and she ripped off her purple visor, cool air gleamed over her wet cheeks. She took one look at the visor in her hands and threw it across the room at a wall, shattering it to large, sharp pieces.

Next she took off her hood and ripped the helmet from her head and dropped it to the floor. She dived into her bondmate's bed and wept into the pillow, stuffing herself underneath the sheets. She felt the soft fabric touch her face as she sobbed, mixing the smell of Shepard with her wet tears.

 _Why? Why? Why did he have to die? We were meant to do so much more! Live together in a house! Possibly raise a family! What did I do to deserve this?!_

She had finally succumbed to the grief that wracked her body.

* * *

Joker leaned forward in his chair towards the controls, trying to fill his mind with the progress on Normandy repairs. Today was tough, and he just wanted to clear his head and relax. But images of Tali running off to the elevator filled his mind. Involuntarily he checked the Commander's Cabin, knowing full well that Tali was in there. He heard her cry through the speaker.

 _If only I saved the Commander..._

He blinked his own tears away and tried to think of ways to help her. Obviously jokes were out of the question. His screen flashed red and he grimaced at how slow the ship's repairs were. If only they had Tali right now. They desperately needed her to get off the planet and without her, they might just die here.

Joker's focus switched to, oddly, how to make Tali grieve faster. He patted EDI's chip in his pocket as he scanned his terminal for ideas.

 _I know how cruel this is, and you would have disagreed with me, but I need you, EDI._

An idea came to him and he looked through his terminal. He was indecisive on which button to pick, all of them were pretty good. That was until he found the best one, and pushed it.

* * *

Tali's tears long dried but her heart was far away from being done with grieving. She still couldn't believe that John Shepard, the one that saved her in an alley from thugs, treated her like an equal, allowed her on board the most advanced ships in space, died once, came back to save her, held her when her father died and saved her from exile, even got her people's _homeworld_ back, she could go on and on about the things he did, but she still couldn't believe her bondmate was dead.

She wanted to die right then and there. She wanted her heart to literally break and have her die. She learned when she was reading about human physiology that humans could die from a broken heart that occurs from emotional stress of a death of a loved one. She made an educational guess that Quarians had stronger internal organs to make up for their weak immune systems. A theory she cursed for being possible.

Tali's sobs changed from sadness to confusion when haunting voices started ringing through the cabin's sound system. Then, a few notes of a strange instrument. It was slightly comforting, but only slightly. Then the main vocals of a man kicked in along with a few cracks of a beat.

* * *

 _I'm fading_

 _Muc_ _h too fast, my love_

Her mind immediately imagined Shepard singing.

 _I'm waiting_

 _For it to pass, my love_

She imagined him lying down, bloodied and gasping his last words.

 _Could I feel your skin on mine_

She smiled sadly at the phrase similar to the one she said to him.

 _Before I have to say goodbye_

 _Could I breathe, please, one last time_

 _You in my lungs before I curl up...and..._

The last word stabbed her heart with ice and she let fresh new tears fall.

 _...die._

 _All my world is losing...light._

 _I'm leaving_

 _This cold world of mine_

She imagined him the first time he died, alone in the cold vacuum of space. The next words seemed directed at her.

 _No pleading_

 _Is gonna turn back time_

The chorus kicked in again and she imagined herself singing it to John.

 _Could I feel your skin on mine_

 _Before I have to say goodbye_

 _Could I breathe, please, one last time_

 _You in my lungs before I curl up...and...die._

She curled up deeper as she sung in her head to John, her tears seeping into the sheets.

 _All my world is losing...light_

As the song faded out with its haunting voices and its notes of the instrument and its cracks of a beat, she finally cried herself to sleep.

* * *

 **Authors Note: First off, this was a very difficult chapter to write. Tali is a wonderful character and will always be one of my favorites closest to my heart. Second off, the song is called, "One Last Time," by Jaymes Young, I don't own it so go show some love.**


	4. Chapter 4: Fixing

She had a wonderful dream, one with possibility. She still had her eyes closed, and she smiled as she remembered it. She was laying down in a chair on a balcony looking over the ocean, sipping at a drink with a datapad in hand and watching the waves lap at the shores. She was on Rannoch, and she wasn't wearing a suit and helmet. Instead she wore a simple purple bikini with her clan patterns over it, her raven black hair flying in the breeze. She heard the wind whipping through the short trees and seabirds calling in the air. It was almost paradise. Almost...

She recalled in her dream looking over across the beach, and there she saw her human bondmate, correction, _lifemate_ running through the sand, playing with two small children. She couldn't make out whether they were human or quarian but frankly, she didn't care, the only thing that mattered was that the children was _theirs._

She giggled as her lifemate ran into the ocean and the children ran after him, splashing water and throwing wet balls of sand. She let them play a few minutes before finishing her drink and shutting off the datapad. She stood up and called to them, "Come on kids! If we go home now you might get some dessert for your dinner!" Her heart fluttered as the kids yelled in reply, "Okay, mom!" Followed by her lifemate's, "Yes, ma'am!" Their voices clear as crystal to her ears.

They enjoyed a long walk down the dirt road, both sides flourishing with plant life. They laughed and played all along the way to their gorgeous house. Inside she cooked both a delicious, scrumptious levo and dextro meal for her family. Then she and her human tucked their kids into bed, her lifemate telling a miraculous story followed by her beautiful singing. Then they themselves would bed down and sleep in each other's arms. Now it was paradise. She woke before their lips could meet.

She lifted her eyelids sleepily and moved her arm to John's side of the bed only to find it empty. She perked her ears to see if she could hear the shower running. There was nothing but silence. Confused, she lifted her head to look around the dimly lit room, the only source of light coming from the aquarium in the wall. She couldn't see him anywhere. _Where did he go?_

She decided on putting on her boots and helmet to go looking for him. She sat up to find that she already had her boots on. _What happened again?_ She struggled to remember until she looked over the bed to find her empty helmet and purple shards of glass next to it. The memories flooded back, and her peaceful dream world crumbled, its possibility faltering.

The tears came just as fast as when she faced the Memorial Wall, and she began to curl herself up in the bed. She wanted to disappear and sink through the sheets, which were suddenly cold on her face. All of its warmth disappeared as if it realized that its original owner wasn't coming back.

She sobbed as she began to gain control of herself. Slowly picking up the pieces of her sanity, she decided to go drown herself in Engineering. Hopefully it will help bring some pieces of her mind together, and remain intact. She will fix herself, she's and engineer, it's what she does. _Except fixing people instead of machines is more of a doctor's job._ She thought back to Doctor Chakwas and remembered her reassurances.

Anger flared. _They lie_ _d to me! They said he would be okay! They held secrets from me! Why? Why?_ She felt utterly betrayed. Her bondmate was dead and her closest friends lied and kept secrets from her. She hated them, all of them. She was alone, nobody was there to help her. Nothing was there to help her.

She started unconscientiously humming the tune from the song she heard last night, singing the lyrics in her head as she looked over to her helmet and was reminded of the broken mask. _I'm such a stupid bosh'tet, I can't even kill myself with work._ She trapped herself in the cabin, without her visor she couldn't go anywhere. She needed help very badly. She hesitated to call Joker, part of her wanted to sit and hate him forever, but reasoning prevailed.

"Joker?" No answer. She called again, "Pilot Moreau?" Still no answer. Suddenly a red light flashed on Shepard's terminal up the tiny set of stairs on the other side of the room. Getting on her feet she walked up the stairs to the terminal that displayed a holo message icon. _Did somebody find us? Are we finally going home?_ She quickly typed in the password that Shepard gave her and played the message. To her surprise, Shepard showed up. She hoped that this meant he was still alive, but she soon realized that the message was scheduled to be autosent. She tracked the time and found that it was received only moments after the Normandy crashed.

She watched with agony as Shepard spoke into the computer, holding some type of gun in his hands. It was good to hear his voice again, even when slightly warped by the speakers, it still sounded like heaven to her. _"Sc_ _hedule message for when pulse readings flatline_ _,"_ Tali winced as he aimed the barrel near his wrist and fired. _"Erase message if pulse readings remain functional past a week from now."_ Shepard shook his arm to release any pain from the injection. She realized he was still alive after the blast. She imagined him wounded and giving up his last breaths.

 _"Message scheduled,"_ came EDI's voice.

 _"Begin message."_

 _"Already recording."_

 _"Oh..."_

John scratched his neck in awkwardness. Releasing a sigh, he looked at the camera to Tali and began.

 _"Hey Tali, if you're watching this, then what happened is pretty obvious, so I'm not going to sugarcoat it. I'm dead."_

Her breath caught in her throat.

 _"Man, this feels like those cheesy vids back in the early twenty-first century."_

It was then she realized that this wasn't rehearsed or practiced, it came directly from the moment.

 _"Gah...well...no better way to put it, I guess. But listen, Tali. Before I start my rant, I just want to tell you first that I love you, and always will. Nothing will change that."_

She smiled sadly as he paused his words to think.

 _"You know, I've had a feeling that I wouldn't make it out of this one. It only seemed right that I give my life to defeating the things I worked oh so hard to get rid of. I had too many people die for me, its about time I paid what I owed. Honestly, I don't even know how I managed to stay alive for this long. I guess I'm just a lucky guy, and I'm lucky to have met you."_

 _"I think you were the reason why I stayed alive this far. Literally sometimes, when you have my back. Remember that elevator on the Geth dreadnaught? And those mercs on the Citadel? Those were fun times, and scary. Every breath felt like a cliffhanger, each one could've been my last, and I would've lost you forever."_

 _"But now that you're watching this, I finally did. I know you are struggling, but I want you to know life goes on. It's not what you wanted, but it's the best I can do. Trust me when I say that I want to become your lifemate, Tali, but I've made a lot of promises to you, and I need you to make one for me. Promise me that you will build our house on Rannoch, wherever you want it. Promise me that you will at least try to live a happy and peaceful life. Know that I'm with you."_

 _"It's funny, I always suspected that I went somewhere the first two years I died. I guess I have to go refresh my memory. But Tali, I have one last thing to tell you. A gift, really. I finally got the means to make it possible when we were cracking down on Cerberus. I would have used it on myself, but that would be selfish, and it would have been useless if I get blown to smithereens or something."_

 _"Tali, when you get back to Rannoch and built our house and started settling in and feeling comfortable, ask the Geth for the progress on Project: Bitter Cup. But keep in mind that I don't want you to see it until it's complete. It will help you while I'm gone. Goodbye, Tali. Keelah Se'lai. I will always love you."_ With that, he raised his arm and cut the message.

Tali's eyes were like streams. Steady tears fell down her cheeks with recognition that he was truly gone. This time, she was free to brush them away with the tips of her gloved fingers without the mask in the way. She wondered how she accumulated so much water in her system. But then again, quarians were more emotionally attached than most species.

Quarians didn't have the term lifemate for nothing. John said he wanted to become her lifemate, and even though they couldn't have the chance for a bonding ceremony, she decided that he was hers. She would never have another lifemate. If she had to live alone for the rest of her days, then so be it.

Grief again filled her. She wanted to feel every bit of it, all the misery until she was drained and left as an empty shell. She wanted to feel it all until Nothing was left. She will feel hers and John's grief for him, because he couldn't feel it for himself. Tali never asked if he believed in the ancestors, but she knew they had a great addition.

She remembered looking at her genealogy, everything was recorded in the 300 years the quarians were exiled from their home planet. One of the earliest records had a fascinating story coming from the Morning War of one of her great grandfathers rescuing her great grandmother and their child. He stayed on the planet and held off numerous amounts of Geth until their shuttle could leave. He never made it.

Tali sent a silent prayer of thanks to her ancestor for saving his child so she could exist, so she could meet John. She stayed there for a few moments before a loud crack of the intercom made her jump.

"Good morning, Tali," came Joker's voice.

"Er...Good morning, Joker."

"Look...Tali...I know it's been rough. But, I'm begging you for help here."

The conversation was very uncomfortable. "What do you need?"

"I think I have something to bring EDI back. She even asked me to bring it to you before she...became inactive."

Tali was delighted in some hope, anything to get her mind off things. But then she remembered the broken mask.

"Joker, I'd love to...but...I sorta...broke my visor. I can't leave the cabin."

"How did you do that?"

"Don't worry about it." Joker seemed to grab the hint and didn't pursue.

"Well alright, I'll have someone bring it up to you."

"Can you also have them bring some kind of glass repair kit?"

"Roger Wilco."

"What?"

"Nothing."

Tali was still sitting at the terminal when the conversation ended. She wanted to take a warm shower before she was brought whatever Joker wanted to give her. But she realized it would be too short for her liking, so she settled for waiting to hear the elevator being brought up.

It was fifteen minutes before a knock at the extra door came. She grumbled as she thought she could've taken a comfortable shower in that time. As she sat up to get the door, she grabbed her hood and pushed it as far as she could over her face, making her blind. She didn't reveal her face to just anyone.

She flung her hand loosely like a drunk and finally managed to grab the activation lock for the door. She heard it swoosh open and the voice she least wanted to hear sounded.

"Hey there, Tali, here's those things you wanted," Garrus said, failing to stifle a giggle.

"Just give it here," she snapped. The longer she was blind the more frustrated she became.

She felt an odd ring like structure with a heavy bottom fit over her outstretched arm and an odd pair of metal sticks with some kind of flat rectangle fitted into her hands. She turned around and sneaked a peek at the terminal so she could set the things down.

"Tali, I really want to talk to you," Garrus said as she walked over.

"What is there to talk about?" She scoffed. Garrus paid no attention to the tone.

"A lot of things, actually, everything that happened since yesterday."

"Garrus, first I want to take an actual shower, then I have work to do. I can't do that blind."

He stayed put, "I know you only share your face with those you trust. Tali, do you trust me?"

She whipped around with anger and marched up to the sound of his voice. "Actually, Garrus, no, I don't! You lied and betrayed me! Right now, I trust you the least!" She pushed at him clumsily out the door and grasped for the lock, creating the wall between them. Satisfied, she pulled her hood away from her eyes.

"Tali please, I only want to talk. I want to apologize."

"Little late for that, don't you think?"

Garrus surprisingly sounded defeated as he slumped down on the other end of the doors. "I know, and I don't have an excuse for how I behaved."

"Garrus, what can you possibly reason with what you're doing right now?"

"I know you're mourning, Tali, and believe me when I say I am, too. We all are. But I know you're taking it the hardest."

Tali snorted, "Understatement of the entire cycle."

"I know, but it as your friend it kills me to see you like this. Locked in this cabin, it's not healthy."

"Maybe to your eyes, but this is the only home I know."

Eerie silence filled and she too slumped down on her side of the door. She stayed quiet. Oddly, did she hear...crying?

"I made a promise you know," Garrus sobbed lightly, he was crying. "To Shepard, I mean."

Tali knew it was a universal truth that males don't cry easily unless it was truly beyond important, and Garrus was the last she expected to hear this from. It struck her that she might've been a little harsh on him, he lost a brother, after all.

"I promised him that if whatever happened, that I would take care of you. I thought...that giving you space to process was the right thing to do. But now? I realized I was just being selfish. I was more protecting myself when I should be protecting you. I'm sorry, Tali. I don't expect forgiveness, I know I wouldn't give it. But at least allow me to make up my for my mistake, please, for Shepard."

Tali's heart just kept breaking over and over again. She exhausted her system of tears, but she would have shed some if she had any. Garrus just unloaded some heavy stuff.

"Okay, Garrus, it will take some time to rebuild...this. But I will allow you chances, I would be selfish myself if I didn't give you any. But for now, I have work to do. Thanks for coming by, and talking."

He sniffed and got up, "Yes, thank you, Tali. I appreciate this."

"You're welcome," she replied warmly.

With that, she heard the elevator slowly going down with Garrus inside, slowly regaining his masculinity.

* * *

After a long, hot shower and cleaning the insides of her suit, Tali began to inspect the devices on the terminal. She saw the glass repair kit and the odd chip thing that must be Joker's idea of getting EDI back. She decided on getting her helmet fixed first. She realized that she hadn't had much of a breakfast or a lunch so she grabbed some spare nutrient paste tubes that Shepard held in stock for her and started eating it. It tasted amazing, he only allowed the best for her.

After her meal, she picked up the large shards of glass near the bed and put them in her left hand. _Thank goodness these didn't break into smaller pieces._ She noticed that some glass dust surrounded the edges of some shards. The repair kit shouldn't have to worry about it too much. She also noticed that some shards were hanging together by the transparent film that hung under her mask, making her job easier.

After collecting the pieces and the metal locking mechanism that outlined her visor she began to get to work.

A half hour later and a few tubes of nutrient paste later she had a satisfactory puzzle of her mask in place. She picked up the metal outline and placed it in the ring structure of the kit, the heavy bottom used as both a stand and battery. Fitting to outer shards of glass into the outline she picked up the two metal sticks, hooked them up to the battery, and began melting and cooling the pieces into place. It was tedious and sweat breaking work.

Every so often she would take a break and look at EDI's oversized chip. She hooked it into the terminal and discovered that it held all of EDI's memories. She looked at the trillions and trillions bits of data. Curious, she tapped on one that was dated back to when Shepard and her were on Rannoch. The file turned red and a message appeared, "Insufficient Storage To Run File." _That must be one large file._ Scanning the folders to the very bottom she found a program. She tapped on it and found yet another message, "Integrate System Into Unit?"

Excited, she tapped _YES_ and was greeted with the terminal flickering red and the chip losing its glow. She quickly ripped it out and inspected it. The chip returned its glow and the terminal became solid. She plugged in the chip again and was relieved that nothing got corrupted. _Yet how do I fix EDI?_

She wondered and searched through her memory of all things tech until a reasonable answer came to her. If EDI was anything like the Geth, she needed extremely advanced software to actually use her mind, like the Geth using the reaper codes to gain individual intelligence. EDI herself was based off of reaper tech. She's pretty much in a robot equivalent of a coma. It was plausible, but it was worth the risk. Then a revelation. _Are all Geth in the same state as EDI?_

Shaking herself from the thought she called Joker.

"Yello?" Joker responded.

"Yellow? What?"

"Nothing, what is it?"

"I think I found a way to bring EDI back."

"What?! How?!"

"I'll explain later, right now, I need her body."

"On it!"

 _Well, he's excited._

Tali got back to work on her visor. She noticed all the cracks led to the part of her visor that covered her left eye. _That's probably where it hit the wall._ As she welded, she noticed the colors along the cracks were turning into a dull gray. She would still be able to see, but it would be blurry and disorienting from the mix of colors. She also noticed the visor's integrity was severely weakened.

After she completed her mask, she decided to test it. Grabbing her helmet and putting it on, she raised the visor and felt the hiss of the seals locking. She suddenly felt suffocated. She forgotten how the helmet felt after her not very blissful day out in the cabin's air. She felt around, looking for any source of holes. It was then that some of her suit systems kicked it.

Everything in the mask was fuzzy on the edges and not even the clock showed up. But the systems were working and only that mattered. Satisfied, she pulled up her hood. Again she noticed how different life was under the helmet, the glass was scrunched close to her face and everything was in tint of purple and dull gray. But she was happy that she could get out of the cabin now.

A few seconds later came a knock at the door. "Come in!" She hollered. "I can't! It's locked!" Joker hollered back. Realizing her mistake, Tali walked to the door and opened it to see Liara supporting EDI's lifeless body with her biotics and Joker keeping a careful eye.

"Ah, Miss Zorah, got your helmet fixed?" Clearly Liara seemed wary of her. Probably due to the event that happened last night.

"Oh, um, yeah. Pease bring her in," Tali motioned to the chair by the terminal. Liara gently laid the AI corpse into the seat. "Thank you, I appreciate it. Now," she paused, "as much as I would love to have you guys here, I need to focus on EDI, so I'm going to have to ask you to leave."

Joker let out a groan of protest but Tali insisted. Liara seemed hesitant as they turned to leave, Tali tipped her head questioningly. Finally she spoke, "How are you holding up?"

"Better now actually, I talked to Garrus earlier and I managed to get my mind off of things by working. I won't lie...it hurts, a lot. It'll take time. Thanks for your concern but I really need to get to EDI."

Liara simply nodded and walked to the door before stopping, "If you need anything Tali, just let us know. We're here for you, don't forget that." With that, she left.

Tali smiled weakly and got to work on EDI, pulling up the terminal where she would start developing a software long into the night. Getting a general idea, she looked for the file with John's goodbye message, wanting to hear it before she cried herself to sleep and hummed the sad tune from last night.

Oddly, the message was erased.

* * *

 **Authors Note: Hope you enjoyed!**


	5. Chapter 5: Homecoming

Tali thought her dreams were worst than nightmares. She hated how they toyed with her emotions, always dangling happiness in front of her and then swiping it away when she awoke. But that was before she had her first nightmares.

All of them included John dying in her arms, asking her why she didn't save him, or at least stayed with him until he died. Then out from the shadows came all of the women that she was afraid of gaining his affection, her _competition._ They would surround her as he layed in her arms, screaming at her at how she didn't deserve all of the things he did for her, and how she did nothing in return. Then they would go on to tell her what each of the individual women would have done different, how they would have done _better._

She would shoot up from the bedsheets in the middle of the night, surrounded by cold sweat. She would hug her legs closer to herself and whisper, "It's not true, it's not true, it will never be true," until she would get a grip of herself. A very weak grip at that, for she finally succumbed to the depression that ate away at her.

She hated herself for being on John's ship, let alone his cabin. She didn't deserve it. She didn't deserve his hospitality or any of the things he had done for her. She always thought that she actually loved him, that she actually cared. But really she was just a rotten _quarian_ _girl_ that somehow wrapped the great Commander Shepard in her fingertips. _I really am just a stupid bosh'tet._ She didn't deserve to be in the presence of his great crew, so she hid away in the cabin. The only times she ever left was to resupply on nutrient paste, or to help with some engineering problem that the crew would want assistance with. She would always walk away convincing herself that they didn't really need her help, that they could have gotten it done without her.

Sometimes they would try to talk to her whenever it was time for a meal, the obvious look of concern still evident in their eyes. But she would always use fixing EDI to as an excuse to away from everyone, and as of right now, that's what exactly she was doing.

EDI's body was laid down near the terminal where she was working on the finishing touches of her software, EDI's once smooth metal being now opened, exposing all her inner workings. Once when Joker first walked in, he nearly fainted before Tali had to remind him that she was an A.I. rather than a living, breathing person. After that, he kept calling constantly for updates and progress, but because of Tali's depressive nature, she responded humbly without any sense of annoyance or irritation.

But today, EDI should be completely fixed. Although she wouldn't be able to use the body, she would have to return to her old days of being a blue ball of light that controlled the ship. Tali's thoughts were dark as she tapped away at the terminal. _What if she tries to rebel? I am the stupid quarian working on her, after all. It would not surprise me if she wanted to kill me._ She continued to type in her last lines of programming.

A knock at the door right when she finished made her pause. She sat up and walked over to the door and unlocked it. She was getting used to the mix of purple and gray the tint in her mask was making. She took a deep breath as the tall figure of Garrus was revealed. She bowed slightly to the better person in the room. "What do you need?" She didn't even feel worthy enough to call him by his name.

The turian grabbed her shoulders and gazed piercingly into her once fractured mask, making her heat up. "Yup, this sells it," he said, and hooked her arm and lead her down the stairs. Before she could get any chance to protest, she was urged into a sitting position on the couch.

He took his own spot next to her and lowered his shoulders to become eye level with her. Again he gave her a piercing look. "Tali, do you know those chances you said that you will give me?" Tali nodded in an ashamed manner. "Well, I'm seeing one right now and I'm going to abuse it."

Tali interjected, "Garrus, I don't think you even deserve my forgiveness," she took a moment to realize how wrong that sounded. "I mean, I'm just a quarian engineer, you didn't need those things I said." Garrus's eyes narrowed, "Okay, do you need to see Doctor Chakwas, because you are definitely not acting like yourself." Tali remembered when the older woman came by once to check up on her health, and she revealed some pretty interesting news.

 _"I did some extensive research on quarians when you first came aboard. Interestingly, by my studies, you should not have survived your wounds. I really think your time with...the Commander...really helped save you."_

At the time it felt like great news, but now it felt like a punch to the gut. Even after death, he was still taking care of her, and she haven't done anything in return. The best thing she could do was to waste away in this cabin. "Come on, what happened to the fun loving little sister I had?" Garrus continued, _A poor excuse of a sister I am._ Tali thought darkly. Garrus inhaled deeply, "Tali, stop me if this isn't true, but I am guessing that you're depressed," he put bluntly. "I think you are beating yourself up for what happened. But I'm telling you that you couldn't have known, none of us did when we joined this war."

"No, Garrus. That's not entirely it," she finally spoke.

"Then what is?"

She took a long intake of breath, "Can you think of anything I've done for John?"

The turian looked confused, as if there were so many answers that he didn't know where to start, "You keep the ship running...and you always have his back on missions...You even made it easier to strip Saren of his Spectre status."

"Yes, but nothing major! I never saved him from exile! I never gave his homeworld back to him! Keelah, I couldn't even take off my helmet and kiss him whenever he wanted!"

She looked on in astonishment when Garrus started laughing, hurt came very soon after. After a moment, the turian calmed down and spoke. "Tali, I think you have done something for him better than all of that combined!"

"What do you mean, how?" She asked, very skeptical.

"You helped him think that there was more to war than just insuring the existence of life! You made him think that there was hope for a normal life!"

"But-"

"Tali, if I had someone who was willing to give what little they had, all they had, then I would be happy that I would have something to return to when the hard days were over. If I told Shepard that one day he would fall so deeply in love someone that he would go on to retake her homeworld just to be with her on the old Normandy, he would most likey laugh and say that he didn't know if he would ever get out of the military. He was a battle hardened man, you softened him up into the brother I know...knew."

Tali reflected on his words, her spirits lifting slightly. "I didn't think about that," she admitted. "You taught him love and patience," the turian added. Tali smiled amd embraced her friend in a hug, "How did I gain a brother who knows me so well?" Garrus chuckled and returned the embrace, "It's what you get for gaining a brother with sniper vision in the first place."

"Thanks, Garrus, I don't think our trust needs any more time."

Tali felt awkward afterwards, and Garrus picked up on it. "That face of yours is too important to you, it is not for my eyes to see." Tali felt relieved as they both rose from the couch. "I'll see you later," Garrus said as he stepped into the elevator. However, Tali pulled EDI's chip from the terminal, stuck it into a cylindrical device, and followed Garrus. She turned around and looked upon her work. _Keelah, if this was an organic being, I would be the mad scientist in a horror vid._

She answered before the turian could ask. "I finished working, so I'm going to Joker."

"Wait, we're getting EDI back, today?"

"Yes, if everything works out."

"I'm sure it will, you're the Normandy's engineer, after all."

Tali felt a little better as the elevator descended slowly. The same couldn't be said for Garrus as he sighed, "I know you hear me say this all the time, but this elevator is the slowest thing in all of the galaxy, I'm sure it would be a great park ride for an elcor."

Tali laughed, something she didn't know that she was still capable of doing. Once the elevator finally opened, Garrus headed off for some main weapons battery business while she walked to the cockpit. She felt uncomfortable as concerned eyes pierced her on the bridge. She reached the cockpit and tapped Joker on the shoulder, surprising him as he swiveled around in his chair. She in turn held up the cylindrical object.

"Joker, is the server room fully repaired?"

Joker fidgeted with excitement in his seat as he gazed at the mysterious object that was supposed to bring back his co-pilot. "I sent some tech savvy people down there to get it checked out a long time ago, I would be surprised if they hadn't completed their work, or at least made some progress. But why wait? Let's go!" Joker hobbled quickly to get out of his seat, but Tali fearfully grabbed onto him as he seemed dizzy and was about to fall over. "What happened? Are you okay?"

"Yeah, I'm fine," he responded, shaking his head, "Just got up too fast is all. I blacked out a little there. But come on! Let's go!" Tali made a mental note to ask him about that later as she followed the limping pilot to the server room. They walked into the medbay where Doctor Chakwas looked up. She let out a fearful sigh as the two walked in. A pilot with brittle bones and a quarian with a weak immune system just wasn't something easy to handle all at once, but Tali held up her hand and reassured her that there was no worries.

"Just going to the server room to work on EDI. Nothing serious."

This time the older woman gave a sigh of relief amd slight irritation, "Why can't people find a better route? It's tough enough with technicians coming and going. Fine, go along you two."

"Thanks, Doc!" Joker said excitedly as he hobbled to the server room quickly. Tali followed after him. She saw that there was nobody in here, either they really did fix the place up or they were on break. "So where do we start?" Joker asked. Tali chuckled once more as he looked as jittery as a quarian child about ready to receive their first enviro-suit.

"We need to find a control panel," Tali replied. She stepped around the decontamination chamber in the room. She couldn't help but remember flashbacks from that one night, wounded and frightened. She took a sharp intake of breath in order to clear her head of what followed before she remembered it. She instead focused on a newfound panel that hung on the wall.

"There it is." She walked towards it and tapped it, a few green flashes followed by a red one appeared. She started to read.

 _"Management Program Faulty, please install one of the following."_

She read down the list and grimaced when she found no mention of A.I. The galaxy changed a lot since this ship was built, and _she_ changed, as well.

"It looks like the technicians fixed up the systems. Now we just need to figure out where to put EDI. Wait for just a few minutes," she said as she turned her sights to the silver boxes that made up the wall. She began following a cord throughout the machines. She began interweaving herself between the boxes.

Minutes passed and Joker tapped his foot impatiently. Suddenly, Tali came across an unusually thick, blue electrical cord that appeared at her feet. Abandoning the one she was following, she traced the blue one to the center. _Please let this be it!_

She then stepped into a small space in between all the wires. Soft footsteps told her that Joker followed. In the space before them was a small black box with all kinds of cords and wires attached to every end. She knelt down next to the heavy box and took out a mini screwdriver from one of her many pouches and got to work unscrewing the lid. The lid popped off with a metal crack, and she removed it carefully to get a look inside.

She found another cylindrical object in the box similar to the one in her hand. She pulled it out, and noticed that it was burnt and charred, a similar chip inside was crumbling. She unhooked it, and exchanged the two objects. She stuffed it back into the box and turned to Joker, "Go check the control panel and run diagnostics, but don't touch anything after that. Tell me what it says." His fading footsteps showed that he acknowledged her. She didn't screw in the lid just yet, just in case if there was more work to be done. Minutes passed and Joker finally spoke.

"It's green! It's asking me if we want to run the newly installed management program!" Relieved, Tali screwed in the lid and hurried over to the control panel, evading all the cords. She passed Joker and indeed, the control panel was asking to wake up EDI. She scanned the panel in case if there was anything worth noting. Seeing nothing she paused as her hand hovered over the activation button. _Well, here's the moment of truth._

She tapped it. Both of them gasped in exasperation as a bar showed up, slowly, agonizingly filling up with green light, loading EDI into the system. More minutes passed and both of them sat on the floor, tired of standing. They looked upon the bar as if little kids waiting for a vid to start. Every once in awhile, they would look away in hopes that time would go by faster. Tali instead spent her time studying her surroundings, and her eyes landed on a very uncomfortable Joker, she gave the best she could to reassure him. "Hey, no matter what happens, we'll be alright." Joker shook his head, "No, I'm fully confident in your abilities, it's just that...I'm sorry for everything."

Tali's hair stood on end as she realized what he was talking about. Truthfully, she forgiven a long time ago when she started internalizing her hatred, and all those previous encounters between them seemed like ash in her memory, recalling them to light made her recoil slightly. "It's alright, I'll be fine."

"You sure?"

Her mind ticked at a rapid pace, and Tali could tell the same was going on behind Joker's eyes. "You and I are, I mean, we'll be fine. I don't think I'll ever be fine...for...you know." Joker let himself get a breath of relief, but his body continued to shake. "I know, I'm sorry, I shouldn't have brought it up, it's just that I..." His words faded, so Tali finished for him. "It felt like it would eat you up if you didn't say anything?"

"Yeah."

They spent there time in the silence. It has been a half hour since the bar appeared, and it was close to being completely full. Soon their excitement increased once more as there was only a speck of space between the green light and its destination. They both stood up, ready to see of EDI truly came back to them.

The bar disappeared, and only a message was revealed. It was EDI's wake-up call. Tali and Joker gave a nervous glance at each other, both eager and frightened of the activation button that sat right in front of them. "Would you like to do the honors?" Tali asked the pilot, half feeling like it should be him, since she meant the most to him, and half feeling like it wouldn't be completely her fault if something went wrong.

Joker took a deep breath, raised his arm, and jerked his finger forward. For a few seconds, the lights flashed and dimmed and the silver boxes on the wall started to hum louder. Tali and Joker looked fearfully around, waiting with anticipation.

"Oof...what happened?" Came the familiar voice of the beloved A.I. in the semi-darkness.

"EDI!" Both the quarian admiral and the pilot exclaimed.

"Tali? Jeff? What happened?" EDI asked as the lights returned to its full capacity. Joker started stuttering and tripping over his words in excitement in trying to explain everything that happened since she was last shut off. "Jeff...Jeff...Jeff, calm down!" EDI shut him up. Her tone returned to normal, "Jeff, please get a hold of yourself. You can explain to me everything in the cockpit, I'll wait for you there."

Immediately Jeff's feet started to carry him up to the bridge, before he hesitated to take a glance at the one who returned his much loved A.I. to him. "Are you coming?" He asked. Tali just then realized how all the stress and tension and the relief sapped her of so much of her energy, she was very tired. "No, thanks, Joker. You go on ahead. I think I'll go take a nap." He looked torn between urging her to come along or to run off to the cockpit, but he ended up choosing the latter, rushing off. "Thank you Tali! Because of you, I have a name to tear off of a certain wall!"

Tali smiled weakly and followed him slowly out the server room door. Before she could leave the medbay, Doctor Chakwas spun in her chair, catching Tali's eye. "Joker seems happy, I hope he doesn't end up breaking something important," she sighed. "I'm glad EDI's back, she's already gone around informing everyone about the fluctuation with the lights. I sense a boost in the crew's morale," she said in a more positive note.

"Yes, it's good to have her back," Tali agreed. The older woman's gaze turned more soft, "We'll be alright, Tali. You go get some rest." Tali knew she wasn't talking about the crew, she was talking about her. She was skeptical, but at least their chance of getting off this rock was blown sky-high. "Thanks, Doctor Chakwas, I'll see you later."

As she walked out, her stomach growled in frustration. She hadn't eaten much lately. A change in mindset was wrought about in her, and she headed towards the mess hall. Perhaps if she was seen happy and eating with people, perhaps she wouldn't get many concern glances. So her feet took her down, and she met Garrus. She smiled once again as she ate and joked with her turian friend before going back to the cabin and falling asleep.

* * *

"I can hardly believe your back!" Joker said for perhaps the hundredth time. "I missed you so much!"

"I wasn't even gone too long, Jeff," EDI stated. "But there was a chance you could have never came back!" Joker retorted. "You could have been trapped in that chip for centuries, no one knowing how to wake you up!"

"But Tali did. She brought me back. I knew she could."

Joker smiled, "I'm glad she did. I owe her so much."

EDI's tone turned solemn, "If only we could do the same for the Commander. I can't believe he's gone."

Joker's mind flashed back to him earlier, running down to the wall, taking EDI's name down, snapping it in half, and chucking it into a corner. The people that seen him would have been shocked if they hadn't known about EDI returning. But before he could return to the cockpit, his boot nudged something on the floor. He looked down and saw Shepard's nameplate still sitting there, where Tali dropped it. _She'll put it up, when she's ready._ He fought back his own tears as he tried not to think how cruel it was that he lost his friend twice, and he still could not have done anything either times.

Trying to distract himself, Joker turned the conversation to EDI. "You believe?"

"Recent statistics of Shepard's adventures show that he should have survived."

"Really?" He asked doubtfully, "Even with the terrible odds? Near indestructible reapers that destroyed the galaxy of life over and over countless times versus one ship of weirdos and their mega-fleet?"

"He has the statistic of luck factored in," EDI added simply.

Joker thought for several long moments, Shepard _was_ a very lucky guy, in more ways than one could count. Maybe all of it ran out on him this time. Still, now that EDI mentioned it, he couldn't help but think that their fallen Commander _should_ have survived.

"I gone over the reports of the ship, our estimated time of departure is within two days. Should I inform the crew?" EDI interrupted.

Joker was caught off guard by the sudden good news, and he began stuttering over his words before he could form it into a coherent sentence. "EDI, two days? Yes! Yes! Tell everyone!"

* * *

It was near midnight, and Tali was sitting on the couch, admiring the aqua glow of the fish tank wall. When she woke up, she was happy to find the news that was on her omni-tool. She was excited to finally get the Normandy lifting off and away from this remote planet. Normally she would be counting down, but she no longer felt any need to return anywhere. All she cared about was admiring the water and its contents. She did this many times before, but this time, something caught her eye. She squinted to get a closer look at a specific pair of alien fish that were close to each other.

The first fish was black with red tips on its fins. It swam lazily, as if it had no care in the world other than just eating and swimming, it almost seemed bored. The second one, which was straight violet, however, was very energetic as it swam quick laps around the first one. They did this around the fish tank for several minutes before they happened upon a red one. The black fish interrupted its partner's routine and swam as fast as it could around them. This frightened the red fish and it swam away in fear. The black fish then returned to its lazy swimming and its partner continued their routine.

 _Protecting its mate._ Tali thought. She lowered her head. Her feelings were mixed. She woke up from her nap, which was more like a full night's rest, just earlier. Yet her mind felt tired and exhausted. But every time she tried to force her eyes shut, she found them opening again, full of energy. She was restless, she needed something to do, but she didn't know what.

"Good morning, Tali," came EDI's robotic voice.

"EDI, you nearly scared me out of my suit!" Tali said, trying to ease her breathing and shaking.

"Terribly sorry, Tali, but I couldn't help but notice that you were active and experiencing...turmoil."

Tali ignored the hanging word. She took what last deep breath and stretched herself along the couch. "It's alright, EDI. I'm glad to have you back." EDI, however, wasn't going to give up that easily, "I know it must have been difficult to bring me back after everything that has...happened...But I appreciate it that you did. The crew's stress levels have decreased tremendously, especially Jeff's."

Tali sighed, giving her last attempt at changing the subject, "You appreciate?"

"I may be a synthetic, but when my body is in the ship next to Jeff, fighting to save and protect those lives on board, that's when I truly feel _alive._ If it wasn't for Commander Shepard, I don't think I would be here right now. I owe him a lot." Tali was surprised that the A.I. was speaking in such an organic matter, but the pain of losing her bondmate was greater. "We all do. Mostly me. I won't lie, it hurts, and I don't think I will ever get over it in the years to come," she replied, succumbing to the topic.

"But you persevere, that's one of the many things he said why he loves you."

"He talked about me? To you?"

"Oh yes, plenty of times."

"Like what?" Tali asked, somewhat sheepishly. She nearly bit her tongue to keep her from asking the question, fearing that it might just give her more grief. But she wanted to know, she _needed_ to know.

"He told me that you were strong, smart, strong-willed. That you are willing to protect everyone and their interests, even if they might despise you. That you always put your people first. That you put other people's needs above your own. He thought that you are the most interesting, fun, kind, and loving person he has ever known."

Tali's heart felt warm and fuzzy in a sad way, "Thank you."

"For what? I'm just telling you what he said."

"I know, but thank you for sharing it with me, it means a lot to me."

A pause occurred, but EDI was quick to follow it up with a change in topic. "We will be able to depart in two days time." Tali nodded, "I heard, what's needed to be done?" She asked. "Not much, just some maintenance and repair work," EDI replied.

A newfound surge of determination suddenly filled Tali. She did not know where it came from, only that she could put it to good use. "We can make that time shorter," she claimed enthusiastically. "Are you sure?" The A.I. asked skeptically. "Why not? I'm not tired, and i need something to do. Let's get to work!"

"After you, then," EDI joked.

* * *

 **THE NEXT DAY, LATE AFTERNOON**

"I can't believe Tali shortened departure time by a whole day!" Joker said to Garrus, excitedly. "She and I have been working tirelessly all night," EDI said, with some amount of odd robotic pride. Garrus twitched his mandibles, they were all in the cockpit preparing for departure. "Are we almost ready?"

Tali was secretly behind them and she heard them talking about her. She only recently woke up from her nap after a long night of work, and she was anxious to finally leave. "Let's hope so," she answered, making her presence known. "Good to see you up," Garrus acknowledged.

"Just about, let me just announce it," Joker also answered. He summoned the ship's intercoms and spoke, "Who's ready to go home?!" He shouted excitedly. Cheers could be heard on the bridge behind them. "Alright, Garrus, give the word."

Garrus had been playing as the unofficial captain of the ship for the past two weeks, and he took much care in making sure it didn't seem like he was taking it over. So far, he had been doing a really good job at it. He laid himself up again the doorframe and gave a smile. "Take us out."

The ship rattled and shook for an instant, but as it rose into the air, it began to steady itself out. Joker pushed a lever happily and the ship lurched forward slowly. "Controls normal, thrusters are good, no fuel leakages. I say it's time...to...go...home!" With that the ship rose higher into the sky and shot off at FTL. The rich orange sky fading to black speckled with stars.

Moments later, Liara came in with a datapad in hand, setting it down in Joker's sight. It had a map of the stars that were currently in the sky. She extended a finger and pointed towards the bottom of the screen, "We head towards the bottom of this constellation, and we should return to charted space soon." Joker followed the directions and summoned EDI, "Keep watch, EDI. Let's hope things keep going the way they are."

It didn't take long for them to find themselves back on the map, and they quickly adjusted themselves towards the Sol system. Once it came into view, instantly Joker pulled up the intercoms, "There it is, we're home!" Cheers again echoed on the bridge as the Normandy dropped out of FTL.

Tali watched as they passed by the planets. She saw the red storm swirling on Jupiter, and took time to admire the simplicity of the system. She never got time to pay attention to the small details because of the circumstances. _Those damned reapers!_ Looking forward, she held her breath as Earth appeared, with ash and orange fire still gleaming in some places among its surface. The Citadel was still there, some large pieces of it still hovering around it. As they got closer, they saw small ships zooming about the space station. They were doing repairs. They got closer and a group of human and turian ships met them.

 _"Unknown ship, please identify yourselves."_

Garrus commanded Joker to pull up the call. "This is Garrus Vakarian of the SR2 Normandy, we-"

 _"Normandy? Where the hell have you been?!"_

Garrus paid no mind to the interruption, "We suffered severe damage and got stranded on an uncharted planet. We managed to repair ourselves enough to return. Is there a place we can land?"

 _"Sure thing, Normandy. Follow us! The Commander will be excited to have his ship back!"_

All eyes turned towards Tali, who was experiencing the waves of force and shock. Her mind reeled and her eyes lost focus. She felt like vomiting.

She felt dizzy.

Then she fainted.

* * *

 **Authors Note: Here is the rewritten version of this chapter. I hope it has the same effect as the old one. I believe all the main details are still here, and I added a few more. Thanks for being patient and I hope you enjoy!**


	6. Chapter 6: I Feel Dead

The last thing he remembered was sadness as he pulled the trigger of his pistol over and over until the last thing he saw was a certain Quarian's face become engulfed in red and orange flames, licking devilishly at his face and scoring heat across his body. He remembered at how he managed to escape the Catalyst's attempt of getting him indoctrinated, by giving him three choices and making two of them sound better than the one he picked.

He was given a choice to lose his body and control the reapers. One he overruled immediately. He would've been no better than The Illusive Man. Even if he could control them, how long would it be until he became corrupted or got his mind taken over by the reapers? Absolute power corrupts absolutely.

The next choice seemed too good to be true. Synthesis, a true mutualism between synthetics and organics. The Catalyst claimed it to be the final step in evolution, but Shepard saw the flaw in this. How would they retain their uniqueness? It wasn't right, he couldn't force this on them. So he decided on the last choice, destroy the reapers and all synthetics.

 _I'm sorry, EDI and Legion, there's no other way. I'm sorry, Tali. I hope you live happily. I love you._

His mind was split in two. Half of it was under indoctrination influence and the other half saw clearly. He warred with himself, but his self will was winning. He barely heard the Catalyst screaming at him about how foolish his choice was and how it threatened him by returning him to the most primitive stage of humanity.

He felt a sharp pain in his back. The pain engulfed him and he felt like his being itself was being ripped to shreds. _I have to end this._ He continued to walk forward and shot faster, eager to destroy the power conduit. All the while the Catalyst screamed and fired whatever thing it was into his back. He succeeded.

He sailed backwards from the flames, pain reaching every inch of his body. He opened his eyelids with effort and saw the Crucible emitting an orange glow. _The galaxy, it's finally safe._ At his last thought, the energy was released and he was knocked out. His cybernetics deactivating.

* * *

He thought he dreamed.

He was surrounded by a lush scene of greenery. He was standing, unharmed, on a grassy hill that stretched down into a field. The sun was high above him and wispy clouds stayed stagnant in the air. Behind him, about fifty yards away, was a rushing stream of water, crashing on the steep rocks that trapped it.

To the right of the river, far away, stood a spectacular view of a mountain range that faded to the color of the sky the higher it stretched. To the left of the river was a large lake the river came from, deep blue and stretching far until the other side was barely visible.

Before him held a curious sight. A forest never ending. The wall of trees was just... _there._ It stretched as far as he could see to the right past the lake, and left past the mountains. The forest was flat against itself, like it didn't dare grow past an invisible line.

Shepard was uneasy. Something was very eerie about this place. The air was silent. There wasn't any wind, or sound of wildlife. There were no bugs to be spotted and plants other than trees and grass seemed nonexistent.

But the _forest._ It was just too creepy. The trees of the forest themselves seemed nice, but just the way they were placed, how well kept it was, how they seemed to go on forever, it was just nerve itching. _Someone is here, or some group._ Suddenly, the sound of light, slow pair of footsteps followed by a thump of something heavy disturbed the angry silence.

Shepard looked for a gun he didn't have. Instead he noticed he was still wearing his armor, he would have to fist fight whatever is emerging if it came down to it. Strangely, he heard...talking?

The pair of voices sounded like they came from some elderly men chatting and reminiscing on old times. Shepard ran down the hill and stayed a moderate distance from the trees. He soon saw the vision of two old men, one with a cane, come into view.

Shepard didn't lower his fists, he doesn't trust easy. When the men emerged, he noticed the one with the cane was a human and the other was quarian. They looked up and waved to Shepard like he was an old friend, "Look who came back from the land of the living!" The old human called.

"Where am I? What did you do to me?" Shepard threatened. He noticed the old human slumped over his dark wooden cane and had circular glasses. He was bald except for white hair that stretched from the sides of his ears and met in the back of his head. He wore a dark green vest that looked more like a rug and wore a brown, unbuttoned jacket over that to match his brown pants and dark shoes.

The quarian, however, also leaned over a little but didn't need a cane. He wore a dark gray enviro-suit with a lighter gray visor. Shepard noticed that he didn't wear too much armor, but the smaller pieces he did wear were gold. He also noticed that the thin stretch of fabric that went over his head matched the color of his armor.

The two men chuckled and slowly bursted into a hearty laugh. "What's so funny?"

The human raised his cane and pointed at him with a laughing tear in his eye, "That's the exact same thing you said the first time you were here!"

 _What?_

"You mean, that I'm...dead?"

"Eh, more or less," replied the quarian nonchalantly.

Shepard was shocked. He's dead, and apparently he was here before. How come he can't remember anything? As if reading his mind the human answered.

"Don't sweat it, young'un. You aren't meant to remember this place yet, not for a long, 'time.'" The man mocked the last word.

"Where am I?"

"As he said, you aren't meant to remember for a long time," the quarian answered.

"Is this heaven? Or the realm of the Ancestors?"

They rolled their eyes, "As we said..."

"Why?"

"Because you aren't finished," the quarian put in.

"Finished what? Defeating the reapers?"

The men laughed. Then the human poked Shepard with his cane, "Let me ask you something, is this truly what you want?"

"Is what, what I want?"

The quarian chuckled, "Just think about your greatest desire."

Shepard was skeptical. What did this have to do with anything? He wasn't getting answers and his patience is starting to whittle away. Figuring that he had nothing left to lose, Shepard closed his eyes.

He felt the grass beneath his feet die and turn into desert, the air was thinning and it felt incredibly hot. He opened his eyes and his breath was taken away as he held a glorious view. He was standing on a rock formation high in the sky, a sun named Tikkun shedding its rays. Looking down, he saw a gorgeous house and further away still, stood a vast ocean. He heard footsteps behind him and realized it was the two men. The quarian spoke.

"Ah Rannoch, it is a beautiful place. Many would not think so from its climate, but home is home, such a shame that so many of my kind could not see it in their mortal lives. But let me ask you, is it odd for a singular organism from a species that did not originate from this world, desire it for its own?"

Shepard thought hard. He didn't desire to take over the planet if that's what he was asking. Soon he came up with a suitable answer.

"I desire what the quarians desire. I wish to give them a happy and long life on their home world. Without threats from every corner of the galaxy."

The human patted his shoulder, "And you did! Except for one."

Shepard perked his eyebrow, "Who?"

He smiled, "The reason why you went back in the first place."

With that, the world around him faded along with the two men and he was left with nothing but darkness. An empty darkness. It's tendrils unwrapped around him and he was met with the most beautiful sight, better than anything in the galaxy.

It was a young quarian woman, with a purple visor and a purple hood and cloth wrappings that had white whorls to pattern it, her eyes gleamed like the shiniest pearls. _Tali._ He smiled.

The men's voices reached him through the darkness. Tali didn't seem to hear them.

First the human spoke, "She sees you, too. Although time is irrelevant when you're dead."

Sadness ripped him, "You mean I _failed_ her?"

"Oh, no, no, no! She is still breathing and beating, my friend. She's just witnessing a hole in the fabric of time and space. A form of déjà vu, if you will."

Shepard sighed in relief.

"You went back the first time because you did not find her love then," the quarian elder said.

The shadowy tendrils wrapped around him again as his thoughts darkened, "And now that I found it..." He trailed off sadly. He saw his lover's speaker light darken and she raised her hand it protest.

The human elder interrupted, "Nonsense! Now you must keep that love if you wish to fulfill _all_ the quarians desires."

Shepard heart ached, "How can I? The first time I had means of going back, nobody can do it again! I mean, I could've used my project but I didn't know if-"

The quarian elder laughed, "Sometimes, we all just need a little miracle," with that, Shepard heard a snap of fingers and a light appear in the distance. Below it was Tali, she seemed reluctant to see what the light was. Coming to a decision, she nodded and grabbed onto a tendril and left, being surrounded with its rays.

"You know, this was before you even shot at that power conduit," said the human.

 _What?_

Light swirled down and enveloped Shepard.

He thought he dreamed.

* * *

He took his first breath of new life, forgetting everything except for one name on his lips.

 _Tali._

His vision was blurry as was his hearing. Pain gnawed at every inch of him inside and out and he felt like he was submerged in water. His body felt heavy and everything screamed at him in confusion.

It only took a moment like lightning to make his senses clear and a moment like thunder to understand what kind of state he was in. He was lying down on a pile of rocks, armor melted to his body. Surrounded by blood, his blood. _Why couldn't I just die already?_ His thought hanging by a thread to life.

He then heard voices. They were barely audible over the sounds of crackling wildfires and structures collapsing in the distance.

"-eck again! Holy hell the man's still alive!"

"Well, don't just stand there, you idiot! Call in a med-evac!"

"On it!"

He looked over and saw two human soldiers above him on a pile of debris, one on his omni-tool. "What happened?" Shepard croaked. The one not on his omni-tool jumped down next to him. "Hey, save your breath. You're in a really bad shape. Like pitiful endings to great stories bad. Your heartbeat flatlined and your all in all just a mess." The soldier got to work applying medi-gel.

Shepard let out a lung popping cough. Pain dug deep into his chest and his throat felt like a desert rock desperate for water. His nose felt stuffy and his sinuses ached, and he was very nauseated. His own skin even felt like a scratchy rug. But in all this time Shepard dared not move a muscle, afraid that the pain might become unbearable.

The other soldier came back over the debris and sat down. "They're on their way, ETA two minutes," he looked down at the great savior of the galaxy, reduced to a bloody heap that if his wounds didn't kill him, his sickness just might. Shepard didn't want to die like that in front of these guys, that would be insulting.

"Just hang in there Commander. Focus on your breathing or something," the soldier said.

A minute passed and the soldier that applied the medi-gel spoke, "In case if you were wondering. My name's Redge, and my friend here is "Sweet Street" Sibs. He got his nickname not too long ago. He held off a whole bunch of those zombie things on a road awhile back."

"The only thing I kept telling everybody about the experience was that it was sweet," Sibs chuckled. Redge punched him lightly in the shoulder, "You mean just the guys, to all the girls you told them how horrifying it was, saying you could've died multiple times."

"In all fairness that dying bit is true." Shepard grinned at the banter, it reminded him of him and Garrus. Shepard croaked, "You mean you were here when the reapers first arrived?"

Sibs looked down despairingly, "Yeah. Never did I imagine giant metallic creatures to swim down from the sky like sea monsters. Never thought, 'hell on earth,' would take a literal meaning. I'm surprised I'm alive."

"Yeah, me too," Shepard chuckled painfully, then coughed.

A loud roar of a shuttle came into view and the soldiers flagged it down. In mere moments people came out and painfully rolled Shepard into a stretcher, staining it red. Everything was a blur of pain and inaudible voices as a light shined in his eyes. He coughed harder, it felt like his lungs were going to kill themselves. Before he knew it, he was in the shuttle.

"He looks like a ghost," one of the medical staff said. The two soldiers climbed in after him and took seats on opposite sides of the shuttle. "Wouldn't surprise me, his pulse was on a flatline when we found him. For how long? I don't know," Redge replied. "I don't even think that he should still be alive," Sibs added.

Shepard's headache pounded his brain, painfully massaging his mind into sleep as he finally passed out.

* * *

 **TWO WEEKS LATER**

Shepard opened his eyes slowly. Warm light cascaded from the windows onto his face, kissing him with gentle heat. He took a few moments of rest before trying to discover where he was. To his left was an abrupt wall that touched his bedside, to his right was a window and a large machine that beeped slowly and had all kinds of screens, knobs, and colors. He noticed the machine had several cords that stretched over to him.

That's when he realized he had an oxygen mask on, giving him the freshest, purest, rawest air. He looked down and saw a large, white half circular machine stretch across his chest and upper thighs, its white metal gleaming in the sunlight. He also noticed that he wore a baggy white suit that was inflated, so that none of it touched the top of his body. Above him he noticed a small black device that Shepard recognized in helping with decontamination. _Am I in quarantine?_

He started to test his limbs, he put a slight bend to his knees and elbows. The lack of use caused him to groan with discomfort but not necessarily pain. He felt weak. But he also didn't feel normal. He was hungry, and energy seemed nonexistent. _Did I get fed at all?_ He also felt more susceptible to the air around him, like the faintest breeze could cause his chest to explode. But his skin, his body, it also felt different. He couldn't quite put a finger on it.

The door at the far end of the small room opened and a middle aged man with glasses and a doctor's coat with an oxygen mask on entered. His hair was black on top that faded to gray around his ears. He carried a datapad and a stethoscope. "I ran down here as fast as I could as soon as I saw you were awake," he explained.

"Who are you?" Shepard said with effort, dryness coating his throat.

"I am Doctor Philanskis, I've been taking care of you since you arrived."

"How long was I out?"

"Precisely two weeks."

Shepard's head swam. Current events were a little fuzzy, desperate for something more solid, he started asking the questions about the past while the Doctor looked over the machine near the window.

"Did we win?"

The Doctor laughed, "We did, thanks to you. One blast from the Crucible and the reapers fell like stones to an ocean. We came back from the Rendezvous Point and were surprised to see you still alive. Or mostly, at least. It was nasty work peeling that armor off your body."

Shepard noticed that the Doctor wore mild self protection clothing, so Shepard was not in quarantine. Which led to his next question.

"What happened to me? What's my condition?"

"Whatever you were doing on the Citadel somehow shot your immune system to hell," the Doctor sighed, "You suffered severe nerve damage. Luckily we reactivated your cybernetics and now all we have to do is wait for your body to learn how to _feel_ again. Meanwhile, I suggest you don't move in any awkward angles or else you will receive an overload of neural messages, it would be a nasty shock."

The Doctor paused before continuing, "And some geneticists downstairs noticed you been through some sort of mutation. Something about your DNA returning to some basic form, like stem cells, but not entirely. I don't know exactly."

 _Now I'm even less human._ At least now he knew why he felt different.

"There's one last thing, you're malnourished. We fed you a lot of food to keep energy in your body, but for some reason your body rejected most of the food we gave you. You always acted poisoned after being fed. It was terrifying. Right now we know that small amounts of corn, rice, and beans don't harm you. We resulted to sterilizing food and using pastes with human nutrients, but we are even still cautious about those."

Shepard groaned. Talking about food wasn't helping his case. A loud knock came to the door suddenly and it opened to reveal an old man in a pristine, blue Alliance Navy uniform and an oxygen mask over his face. _Admiral Hackett._

Shepard quickly lifted his hand in a salute, but a large shock coming from both his shoulder and elbow screamed at him. He loudly gasped in pain and clenched his teeth, dropping his arm.

"Easy, son," The Admiral ordered. The Doctor came to the bedside and started massaging his arm. "That's what I meant by a nasty shock."

"What can I do for you, sir?" Shepard asked.

"Always ready to help, Commander. That's one thing I admire about you. For right now, you can help me by resting. You took a very nasty hit when you saved the galaxy back there. How do you feel?"

"I feel dead. But how are things going?"

"Fairly well. A lot of progress had been made in the last two weeks. We were very surprised when we found you. Apparently you crawled to safety after the Crucible was fired. Two soldiers said they found you in a crater surrounded by heaps of human remains. One of them nearly puked in his helmet."

Shepard smiled, "Sibs and Redge, I need someone to remind me to thank them for saving my life."

"Hey, you should thank the two soldiers for saving your life," the Doctor joked.

"Later, remind me later," Shepard laughed. A memory of something similar came to mind when he was crawling through holes in the Normandy when he was fighting a clone of himself with Wrex and...Tali.

"Admiral?"

"Yes, Commander?"

"Where's the Normandy and her crew? Are they here?"

Hackett's eyes darkened and his mouth curved to a frown. _Oh no, please no._ Shepard tried to prepare himself for the worst news. If he was alive and they were...gone...

"They never showed up to the Rendezvous Point. We haven't found any sign of them around the system. Currently, they are M.I.A. We believe they might have suffered some critical damage, we have search parties everywhere looking for them. Quarian Admiral Raan vas Tonbay had provided a lot of help in tracking her down. Goes to show what people will do for those who gave their home world back."

Shepard looked down in despair, the Normandy was gone, and so was her crew, and so was Tali. But a little ray of hope still shined, they weren't dead. Until they were found, they will never be dead. Shepard's mind retracted a few steps to the Crucible.

"What about the Geth?"

"Surprised you knew about that," the Admiral raised and eyebrow. "Right now they are rebuilding. All of them shut down after the Crucible fired. Other species found that some of the Geth locked down their memory cores before the blast. Most weren't so lucky. They're remaking a hundred units a day."

"So, they're still alive?"

"Yes, why?"

Shepard recounted what happened on the Citadel. When he finished, the old Admiral grimaced. "You did what was right. You were right. The fact that you managed to choose for yourself while under indoctrination influence is beyond me. You're a special man, Commander."

"Doesn't feel like it," Shepard groaned.

"Bad things happen to good people, but bad things also _make_ good people. Your influence in the face of extinction changed a lot of lives."

"Thank you, Admiral."

"Your welcome, Shepard. Right now, you need to rest. I'll leave you be."

The Admiral turned around and left the room.

For the next several days he had updates from none other than Jack. She informed him that Wrex was out also searching for his quarian niece. Shepard was surprised as she showed first hints of caring when she assured him that they will find her and the rest of the crew. "Maybe your boy scout attitude is rubbing off on me, I don't like it," she said, but with more expletives.

Then a messenger came in a week later with news, "The Normandy is back!"

* * *

 **Authors Note: I just want to apologize in advance that I will not be able to post another chapter for most likely the rest of the week. I'm going on a trip and won't be able to update the story. But you can look forward to the next chapter where the good stuff starts!**

 **Also, I know the, "death dreams," are a little too much for some people's tastes, so if you don't like it, ignore it. This was the last one for the story.**


	7. Chapter 7: Reunited

Tali came to in Garrus's arms a few moments later on the floor. She felt uncomfortable as everyone was huddled around and staring at her except for Joker, who was for some reason laughing his head off with tears in his eyes. For a moment she completely forgot where she was, then energy spiked her mind and she shot up, taking everyone by surprise.

"Tali?" Garrus started.

"Get us home, _now!_ " Tali shouted at Joker. He paid no mind to her angry yet excited tone and replied with a hearty, "Yes, ma'am!" As they flew off after the ships, hope restored to all of their hearts.

Moments felt like minutes, minutes felt like hours, time was achingly slow as they entered Earth's smoky atmosphere upon the continent of Europe. Tali was near hyperventilating and she was clutching to her chest. Garrus noticed this and gripped her shoulder, excitement yet concern filled his own voice, "Calm down," this only seemed to make it worse. "I can't, I can't, I can't," Tali repeated, air rushing in and out of her lungs at FTL speed. Garrus seemed amazingly calm through this, he stayed silent but she noticed that his breathing was also very heavy. Her mind still was trying to process the news.

 _John is alive._

 _"Alright Normandy crew, we set up a makeshift docking station in the burned park over here, we will have to search your ship before we let you leave. The Commander is in an emergency medical building on the other far side. We informed Admiral Hackett of your return, he will be present. Welcome back."_

"Thank you," Tali and Joker said at the same time.

They waited as the burned park that was cleared of rubble and debris came into view, it had the escort ships lined up on the grass and asphalt. Tali's eyes followed the scorch marks around the park until a solid, nearly fully repaired building stuck out on the far end. _John is in there._

Tali ran from the cockpit to the airlock, a few moments later, Garrus, Liara, and James fell in behind her. James loudly whispered to Garrus, "I heard that Loco is still alive, is that true?" Tali didn't look behind her but she imagined Garrus nodding his head. "How is Sparks holding up, she's like jello." Tali didn't know what jello was, but guessing from the way she was shaking and the fluid way the name rolled off her mind's tongue, she guess it was something liquid-like. She rolled her eyes and she focused on getting off the ship, which now felt like a prison keeping her from holding hands with the thing that gives her freedom.

They heard a loud hum and a knock as the Normandy touched down. She mustered all her patience as she opened the airlock and saw a ladder lead down to the ground. She was happy that it wasn't rocks that she gotten used to seeing. At the bottom were multiple soldiers with rifles and a clean older man in a blue uniform. Her feet barely met the ladder as she launched herself downwards to the human Admiral, all sense of being professional and formal were gone, she was still at heart, a lovestruck quarian girl waiting to see her lover once more.

"Good evening, Admiral Zorah," Admiral Hackett greeted.

"Thank you, and you, too, Admiral Hackett. Where's John, I must see him," Tali said with speed. She hardly noticed the soldiers that passed Garrus and James up the ladder to search the ship.

The human Admiral perked an eyebrow and Tali's manner, "I didn't realize that the Commander allowed his crew to call him by first name basis," Tali blushed furiously as she thought she just slipped their relationship to him. "Then again, the Commander is a very interesting man. I have to apologize, we can't let you leave until the ship has been searched for anything suspicious."

With a sense of relief and impatience, she tapped her foot and wrung her hands, trying to retain some amount of composure. "Please do hurry, the crew aches to see their Commander," Tali said calmly, masking the specifics with a sentence that was similar to a line from Fleet and Flotilla. Tali desperately hoped that the Admiral haven't seen it, because it would have only hinted their relationship even more.

"Yes, we are very anxious to see him," Garrus said. Tali was relieved to have her turian brother save her from any possible embarrassment. "Vakarian, it is a pleasure to meet you, the Commander speaks of you highly." Garrus raised his hand in an awkward three fingered salute, "It is an honor," he replied as the human Admiral returned the gesture. Tali felt embarrassed that she had forgotten about the salute and raised her own awkwardly, she still wasn't entirely used to human military customs, no matter how many times she had seen it and studied it.

Tali stood by as Garrus recounted the Normandy's story of being stranded to Admiral Hackett while the ship was being searched. It was time consuming and frustrating. "I'm pleased that you now know that Commander Shepard is alive," said Hackett as Garrus finished. "We are, too," Garrus replied as he shot a look over to Tali. Mere moments later and the soldiers came down the ladder giving the all clear.

"Alright Vakarian, given that you are second in command, what would you like to do with the crew while you visit the Commander?" Garrus seemed taken aback, he was never asked to give an order from someone as high ranking as a human Admiral. "Uh, let them leave, give them space to relax for awhile, they haven't seen anyone other than each other for nearly a month. It would be nice to see some amount of civilization. I'll send a report later."

"Alright, I have some business to attend to, search parties to call off. So please, enjoy yourselves if you can, I'll send a message to the medical staff," Admiral Hackett said with a salute as he turned away.

Garrus was only able to shoot a glance to Tali before she ran across the burnt field. The black grass and gravel crunching under her feet as the doors to the building became larger with an achingly slow speed. Soldiers were placed outside but they did not stop her, they must have gotten Hackett's message. She pushed the doors open to a desk with a frightened woman behind it. Tali marched up to the white desk with a brown tabletop, "Normandy crew member Tali'Zorah. Visiting Commander Shepard, where is he?" she demanded, out of breath. The small woman stumbled upon her words, fumbling with papers. She was obviously perplexed why a quarian wanted to see the Savior of the Galaxy so urgently. "Second f-floor, southwest c-corner room, number fifteen. You'll need a key-"

Tali flew past the elevator towards the stairway. _I can't wait any longer, I must see him!_ She ran up a single flight of stairs, the soles of her boots echoing throughout the building. She shoved open the doors and immediately looked at the numbers on the doors. As she read them, she noticed most of the rooms didn't have patients, but machines and utensils with multiple doctors in both regular coats and lab coats working on them, some even with gas masks on. _Nine...ten...eleven...twelve...thirteen...fourteen..._

She paused in front of the normal, white door with a black sign with a clean number engraved in it. The number fifteen. Unlike the other doors, this one had a large sign and a high security locking mechanism on it. _Authorized Personnel ONLY!_ Tali scanned the mechanism, she couldn't be held back any longer. She must see him.

She pulled up her omni-tool and started hacking the mechanism, red lights blinking while her fingers worked furiously. It was easy enough to hack and it beeped its access, the red lights turning green. She opened the door and slammed it behind her, she was met with another door, this time more metallic. She was about to rip it open when a black box scanned the room in green light while mist swirled the room. "Decontamination in progress, please be patient," a V.I. rang.

She waited impatiently for the chamber to cycle, but she paused when it finished, her hand resting above the pad to open the door. She was about to see her lover again. The man who saved the galaxy multiple times, the man who saved her multiple times, the man who loved her like no one else did. She imagined him laying in bed with that goofy grin of his, only moments away from walking out of the makeshift hospital and going to Rannoch to live their _true_ lives. She smiled brightly as she tapped the pad and the door swung open with a metallic ring. As she closed the door behind her, her smile vanished.

She didn't expect this. Her heart stopped. Cold caged her lungs. Life was wilting.

In front of her sat a shell, a pale ghost of the human's former self. It was John, but he was not the same.

His body was deathly pale and saggy. His muscles no longer rippled under his skin but hung to him lazily. His stature was reduced to a wilting flower compared to the normal sturdy tree. But their eyes locked to each other. This was the most shocking to her.

His face looked glum and his cheeks sagged slightly. His hair was slightly longer as well as his facial hair. But his eyes. _His eyes._

The eyelids were droopy and the lack of energy was seen in the dark rings that rested on his cheeks. His irises were murky and lacked the normal rich blue color. But his gaze was determined as always. The moment was chilling, neither of them spoke for a long time. Tali's heart broke once more, it was becoming a normal occurrence. She began to silently cry in both relief and sadness. She took a few steps closer to John. Finally, he spoke.

 _"Tali?"_ he said in a hoarse whisper.

She wrapped her arms around his small frame and wept openly. She hardly realized that he now stood up.

She felt his arms wrap around her in a loose embrace and heard his own sobs. They inched closer to the floor until they were finally kneeling and crying, tears flowing freely from both of them. _He's broken. He's actually broken...and shattered._ Tali has never seen him this low. This was a truly special moment for both of them, no words could describe or even define what they went through together, their adventure born through harsh beginnings, beaten further by threats of exile, separation, and death. But they clung to each other, their adventure will have a happy ending, it was time for the happiness to begin, the time for peace has begun.

But first, they finally let themselves become a shattered mess, and they rebuilt themselves. This time, they built deep into each other, using each other to become something more. Two hearts _truly_ became one.

"I thought I've lost you," they said in perfect unison.

Their hug deepened and so did their love. They were finally reunited, and _nothing_ will tear them apart, ever again.

* * *

 **Authors Note: This chapter is short because of how special it is. Things should start getting easier to read. Hope you enjoyed!**


	8. Chapter 8: What Am I?

Tali began to fear more as the days wore on. John's condition wasn't getting any better, and they hardly spoke. Neither of them had the energy to talk at extensive periods of time, it was an aching silence. The only times they did talk were in short, whispered favors and, "I love you's." The other times, they just drank in each other's existence. _Keelah, I didn't come all this way just to watch him die._

She never left his side once, however. Garrus actually managed to bring her a surviving recliner to sleep in and tubes of nutrient paste. He also made it very clear to others that Tali was the one to say when visitors could come in. Most days she would ban anyone, just so she could keep John to herself, except for the doctors, of course. It was hard to watch him have a coughing fit or groan painfully, she would even have nightmares about waking up to find him not breathing. But the doctors actually told her that his emotional condition was strengthening from having her near, it was inspiring his body to hang on a little longer. She therefore vowed to always be in his sight.

She was informed of his condition whenever he was sleeping. She clenched her jaw when she found out his immune system was weak and way below normal levels. Tali thought she had it bad, but when she also learned about him being malnourished and genetically modified, she simply couldn't imagine what he was going through. She hated this sudden reversal of roles in their relationship. Doctor Chakwas moved onto caring for both Shepard and the other patients in the hospital, and whenever she could get the chance, Tali would read her charts on him.

Right now, that's what she was doing. She sat in the recliner while Sol's rays dripped through the window onto a chart that she held in her right hand, a tube of nutrient paste in the other.

"I always wondered how those things tasted." Tali jumped from the sudden break in silence.

"Sorry I scared you," Shepard chuckled with effort.

"Oh, no John! I'm just worried that something bad might happen," Tali tried to explain as she set the chart down on top of the machine below the window.

He let out a painful laugh, "Y-you're so cute when you're flustered!"

Tali wrung her hands in her lap, the tube of paste rolling over her forearms. "I'm sorry, I'm just so worried."

His gaze immediately softened, but he remained silent. He knew Tali too well, she needed to get something off her chest.

"John, I've been on a crazy ride of emotions! You keep getting threatened with death ever since you ran off to the Citadel! My heart just can't handle it! First, you're dead, then you're not, and then you're dead again. I keep thinking that I've lost you every time I think of the nameplate, your message...I can't stop worrying! I can't stop wondering when it will stop!" She let a few tears fall as his arm grabbed her leg feebly.

"Tali, I'm so sorry I put you all through that, you had to see my _message!_ Believe me, I want it to end, too. I couldn't stop wondering if you were alive when I first woke up. But you have had it worse than I did, you're mask is broken, for example. But I have the luxury of knowing now that you _will_ be alright-"

"Don't say that, you _will_ be alright, as well."

"Tali, I can't make you a promise that I don't know if I could keep. One way or another, you will get your answer. Even if I do manage to make it out of this bed, I won't be the same, did the doctors tell you about my genetics?"

"Yes, but I don't care about that! Why would I?"

"Tali. What am I?"

She was caught off guard, but she recovered quickly, "You are the Savior of the Galaxy! But more importantly, you are the man I _love!_ I told you not to forget that."

"But am I even a man, anymore?!"

She blinked.

"I don't know if I can even protect you if I get out of here. I just keep giving you pain on top of pain, I don't know how to make up for it."

Understanding hit her. John felt guilty for making her worry, and he himself is worried that he couldn't make up for it. His idea was to protect her even more, to keep her close so she could, "forgive," him. But now he doesn't know if he could do that. Now that he is his own _species._ Tali was going to explain to him how _very_ wrong he was.

"John Michael Shepard!" She said sternly. It gave its desired effect as he looked fearfully at her. She remembered how he told her the use of middle names in most human cultures were used to frighten children if they done anything wrong. "How _dare_ you think so low of yourself? If there is one thing that is wrong with you is that you can't learn to forgive yourself! You do so much for me just by lying in that bed being alive than by doing anything else. I _love_ you! Not just for what you do for me, but just by being you!"

Tali looked satisfactory as she put both of their worries to rest, one that Tali didn't even mean to. Shepard craned his neck in shame. "You're right, I need to stop beating myself up. Thank you, Tali, for telling me that."

"You can be such a butt, sometimes," she laughed, "But thank you, too. I love you."

"I love you more."

"Are you...okay?"

"Better, just still hungry."

Tali laughed lightly as she remembered what started the conversation. A few silent moments passed and Tali watched the slow rise and fall of Shepard's chest as he lulled into a deep sleep. Soon a light rap at the door took her attention and she got up to answer it. She opened the door and was surprised to see no one there. Were her audio systems malfunctioning? She jumped when a small hooded woman with an oxygen mask appeared out of thin air and tackled her.

"Tali! I missed you so much!" Kasumi spurted out as she squeezed her quarian sister. "Kas? Keep it down, John's sleeping!" Tali pushed against her, keeping her at arm's length. Kasumi snuck something purple in between their faces and smiled with glee, "I came by with this!" Tali's eyes averted and focused on the odd object. She slowly recognized it as a clean, functional, new visor. She took it in her hands and looked it over, "Where did you get this?" Tali asked.

"I heard about your mask from Garrus, so I went to your Auntie to request a new one! She's such a lovely woman." Kasumi's tone dropped slightly as Tali looked over the visor. "She misses you, you know. We all do, we're very worried about you. I heard that you haven't left since you came back, nobody's seen you since. I'd thought you would at least want to see your Auntie once her search party came back."

"I really did. But I have to stay here, for John. He needs me," she looked over to him.

Kasumi giggled and skipped a little on her toes, "You know, Shep's really lucky that he found someone like you. You guys are so cute together!"

Tali curled a corner of her lip as she looked back to the new visor, "I just wish he could leave this place, but his condition is holding him back." She stood ridged as one of her best ideas came to her, which Kasumi took notice.

"Sister, I know you too well that from your frozen stance that you have a bomb idea to drop, what is it?"

Tali turned around slowly and looked deep into the Master Thief's smirking eyes with a smirk of her own, "Can you ask the doctors for a curtain to hang up in here?" The eyes dropped to confusion for a moment before Tali added, "And can you ask my _lovely_ Auntie for a spare men's enviro-suit? Preferably black with some red cloth?"

Kasumi's face lit up, "Girl, I am on it!" Then she disappeared and the door opened and closed.

* * *

 **TWO DAYS LATER**

Shepard woke up to the sound of a sewing machine whirring on the other side of the curtain. It has been going on awhile and though he would hate to admit it, it was giving him a slight headache, but he never voiced it out loud because he knew how special the project that Tali's been working on was for her, although he didn't know what the project was. His mind wandered to what it could be. _Curtains for the house? A blanket? Clothes? Special clothes?_ His face blushed furiously as he drove the last thought from his mind. His quarian lover had told him that what she was working on was a surprise, but with the new thought, his mind tried to steer from anything close to it. _She wouldn't do that, besides, I'm sick, she wouldn't want to risk my health. Yeah, that card is off the table._

Whatever it was, he was told the project should be done within the next couple days, and Shepard ached for the day when the noise would stop. But his mind trailed to his own surprise for her back on Rannoch. Project: Bitter Cup. He tried to imagine what would happen once he revealed it to her, either he was going to get slapped or get hugged so hard that his spine would break, or maybe not his spine...

He shook the thought from it as he noticed something off about the room, only a few moments and he smiled. "Kasumi, stop staring at me."

The woman uncloaked from in front of the curtain the was behind the recliner and stomped her right foot, "Again?! How do you do it?!"

"Honestly, you've done it so many times now that it's getting predictable." The whirring grew louder and Shepard squeezed his eyes, "What are you two working on over there?"

"I'll tell you our secret if you tell me yours."

"Kasumi, you wouldn't!" Tali yelled from the other side of the curtain.

"I'm joking!" Kasumi responded, although she looked very conflicted if she was being honest.

Shepard shrugged with his cheeks and smiled, "No luck, then." Kasumi growled and flung the curtain between them, "You are such a pain, Shep! Fine, no secret breaking today!"

 _Speaking of secrets..._ Shepard curled an empty tube of dextro nutrient paste into the crack between him and the wall. He couldn't help himself, he was starving to death in here. He told himself he wouldn't risk his health in front of Tali, but seeing her able to eat whatever she wanted, whenever she wanted, kept making him squirm in jealousy. Besides, he didn't feel like he got any bad reactions. Maybe it was because he ate in small doses so that it was harmless. Whatever it was, the paste tasted delicious and it didn't do much to satisfy his hunger. _I have to sneak another one at some point._

"Is everyone back from their search parties, yet?" Shepard asked. "Oh, yes. The last of Tali's Auntie's parties got back a few hours ago," Kasumi answered. Shepard smiled as he proposed an idea for them, "Speaking of parties, you guys should go have one, you have been cooped up in here for too long, especially you Tal."

"Remember John, there's never a dull day with you."

"You're just saying that."

"No Shep, she's right, but don't worry, you'll attend a party soon enough."

As if on cue, the loudest knock in all the galaxy came to the door, splitting Shepard's brain in two. Kasumi marched back from around the curtain and went to the door and opened it. Kasumi's eyes went wide as two krogan with helmets marched in followed by a more respectful quarian.

"They expected us to wear those little mask things? If-Battlemaster!" Grunt shouted as his eyes laid on him. "Hey Grunt," Shepard murmered as he massaged his temples. "How are you kicking?" Asked the other krogan, Wrex. "Still kicking," Shepard smiled. "That's what I like to hear! Too bad you could die from a few little germs, though."

The sewing machine stopped whirring as another familiar voice sounded, "I'm sorry to interrupt, but I need to speak with my niece, where is she?" Tali emerged from behind the curtain in excitement and embraced Raan in a warm hug, "Auntie! I'm so glad you could visit!" Wrex turned to his own quarian niece and gave her and Raan a large group hug, "Little Tali! You worried us so much! I see you got your face fixed!" Tali's eyes glinted to a smile and she hugged him back, "I missed you, too, Uncle Wrex."

"Uncle?" Raan queried. "Not by blood, but by bond," Wrex answered as he released. Raan darted a few cautious glances to the krogan, obviously he didn't know what bond actually meant in quarian culture, so Shepard stifled a giggle. "I see. Tali, I need to speak with you."

"Can it be in here?"

Raan looked skeptical, obviously this had to be Admiral business, but judging from recent events of the galaxy being more united, she was wondering if it was safe to reveal information. But then again, she was in a room with her most trusted allies.

"Alright, we need to start preparing to go back to Rannoch."

"Not yet, it's too early! Not without John!"

"I'm sorry?"

Tension bubbled the room, Shepard and Tali haven't officially revealed their relationship to her Auntie yet. _Crap_. Wrex broke the silence delicately, "Well this is awkward."

Tali wrung her hands nervously, "We'll talk about it later. Just know that I can't leave just yet." Raan's eyes narrowed suspiciously but didn't pursue the matter any further. "Alright, when the Mass Relays are repaired, I'll try to delay the departure as much as I can." Shepard remembered how he told Tali all that had happened since the Crucible firing, the Mass Relays being damaged was one of them. "How much longer until then?" Shepard asked. "Not for about three months," Raan answered.

Shepard whistled slightly, "You are preparing early." Raan gave an unseen smirk and replied with motherly wisdom, "You can never be too prepared." He in turn curled the corner in his mouth in agreement, "This is true."

The group continued to talk for awhile until the sun was at its peak in the sky, the sky exchanging its golden morning colors for pure blue ones. Only faint traces of smoke were left and clouds were growing in the horizon, it was going to rain in the next couple days.

"Anyways, I think I've taken up enough of your time," Raan said, stretching her toes. "You never do, why don't you stay awhile longer?" Shepard asked. "I have to apologize Commander, but I recall that I have preparing to do. You get well soon. And Tali," her quarian niece turned to face her, "We need to talk later."

Shepard noticed his lover gulp as her Auntie closed the door.

A few moments of an awkward silence ensued as Tali started tapping her visor in thought. Everyone's eyes followed her, prepared to give any support or suggestions when she finally speaks. This was natural for the team, Tali always gave off some sort of, "Protect me," feeling. Making Tali upset was like kicking a kitten, it is awful as it sounds. _Good thing this kitten has claws._ Once again, Shepard was reminded how lucky he was to gain the most beautiful person in the galaxy, even though he is the _only_ one to ever see her face. She was a treasure to be kept beyond death. His attention was grabbed when Tali finally spoke her thought.

"Keelah, what am I going to do?"

"You can always say he is going to check up on how things are going on Rannoch..." Wrex proposed.

"That's an idea."

"...and then hide him from everybody for the rest of his life."

"Uh, no."

Shepard really wanted to help her, but his boy scout side was tugging at him, his idea may or may not get shot down in flames, but it was an idea that would be made easier for his own plan once he got out of this place, so he proposed an idea of his own.

"Tali, you love me, right?"

"Of course?"

"So nothing can come between us, not even Admiral Raan. I think you should just rise up and tell her the truth."

"B-but John, what if she doesn't approve? She most likely _won't_ approve! Think about it! I'm an Admiral, she'll think about my duties! If not that, then my happiness! We can't even have chil-" she didn't finish her sentence, she didn't need to. Shepard was surprised that she thought so far ahead, then again, he thought about it, too. Differentiating DNA and Amino Acid Chirality Biochemistry stuff that Shepard hardly understood came back to bite him again.

"So what? We love each other, if anything, she would get in between your happiness, _our_ happiness."

Tali let out a few groans and tapped on her helmet to help make up her decision. If Shepard was honest, he too was fearful if Admiral Raan, the thing that was second best to a mother for Tali, would disapprove. _Heh, just imagine what the project would think as well, maybe even do, I might just end up dead._ Shepard's mind went to a specific time when Tali sat at a bar getting drunk after cracking down on Cerberus. That was the day his project actually started, a steely resolve that he needed to set things right, he just hoped what he did _was_ the right thing.

Tali made up her mind, "You're right, John, you always are. I'm just scared of what she might say."

"Would it help if you told her in here, where I can help out if need be?"

"Well, she won't be back..." She slowly trailed off, causing an eyebrow to lift from Shepard, "...in a few days."

She inhaled sharply and he noticed the confidence starting to bubble up in her, he love that. The sheer determination that just somehow manages to come from nowhere and fill her with excitement, Shepard beamed, her happiness was his happiness. "Yeah, we'll tell her, even if she forgets, we'll tell her. No better time than then." She then marched behind the curtain and the sound of furious whirring began. He noticed a little smirk come from Kasumi as she followed her. Both Wrex and Grunt shared a confused glance at each other and looked back to the curtain. "What are they working on?" Grunt asked. Shepard just gave a shrug.

"Come take a look, it's a surprise for Shepard!" Kasumi said from the other side. Wrex and Grunt shared another glance and swished away the curtain with their large hands, away from sight of Shepard. The moment they stepped in, they gave a large, hearty laugh. _Oh come on! Now I have to know what it is!_ Grunt fell back through the curtain and grasped his stomach with raging laughter. "Is it bad?" Tali asked frantically. "Oh no! Little Tali! It's good!" Wrex said as he gave a cool chuckle, "I just can't wait to see it when it's done!"

Shepard waited until Grunt was cooling down from his round of laughter before hissing a whisper, "Grunt? What is it?"

Grunt gave a few more giggles before answering, "Well Battlemaster, let's just say the attire's special!"

"Grunt! That's too big of a hint!" Tali screeched.

The images started flooding back to Shepard and his face blushed furiously as he desperately tried to push them away. _Oh no._ _The card is back on the table._ He groaned as he tried to tell himself that it wasn't what he thought it was. _Besides, why would she show off to Wrex and Grunt of all people? They don't even look close to humans or quarians._ Still, the thought still stuck to what it could be. _I need a tube of dextro paste, and to eat all in one go, so I can die...like, right now._

Kasumi started pushing the krogans out of the door before they could reveal any top secret information. Even though she couldn't possibly move them, the krogans complied and walked out the door with Wrex echoing his last sentence out the door, "Good luck, Shepard!" Shepard tried to squeeze the thoughts out of his mind but they still lingered there. He wasn't going to complain if it was what he thought the surprise was, but he had his health to think about, he would most likely die. _Well, at least I would die happy._ He just needed some medical reason to try to put it off.

As if on another cue, a doctor walked into the room with a chart in his hand, Doctor Philanskis. "Hey Do-"

"Hey Philip! Come check out this surprise that Tali is making Shepard!" Kasumi said and she grabbed the doctor by the coat and pulled him behind the curtain. Shepard snorted indignantly. _Why does everyone get to see it but me? I mean, I know it's a surprise and all...wait...Philip? Philip Philankskis? What, did his parents hate him? Bah, nevermind, let's hope he calls it off if it is what I think it is._

"Wow! I believe this will definitely improve Shepard's health, both physically and possibly emotionally!"

"You think so?" Tali asked.

"Absolutely!"

 _Dammit._

The Doctor emerged, "Anyways, I have to check up on him, how do you feel, Shepard?" Shepard thought for awhile of the past day. He oddly did have some more energy than most days. He had been talking more and he wasn't in as much pain. "Come to think of it, I feel a lot better than from the past few days. I still feel like death, don't get me wrong, it's just not as bad." The doctor lifted his lips and hummed a single curious note, "Let me check."

Philanskis glance over the machine next to his bed and started reading the data that was compiled there, his eyebrows raised in a soft surprise, "Tell me Shepard, has anyone fed you anything different than your normal diet? Because it seems to be adding a large amount of nourishment." Shepard thumbed the empty tube of paste in his hidden hand. _That makes no sense, I'm human, this couldn't possibly help me._ Shepard thought long and hard whether or not he should reveal the tube of paste to the doctor. Soon his little shoulder angel convinced him that it was only right.

He lifted up the tube and gave it to the doctor, "I sneaked one from Tali...I'm sorry. It was foolish of me." Philanskis inspected the tube, "Dextro? Wait a minute..." Shepard looked on as the doctor rifled through his charts, expecting bad news. Soon he stopped on one, "Here! It makes sense!"

"What makes sense?"

"Something the Geneticists gave me, I know little but I know enough to propose a theory."

"Hit me, doc."

"If whatever happened to your body really changed your DNA to not just a basic human state, but a basic _life_ state, then you must have evolved in a way that makes you more accepting of...well...everything!"

 _That was a quick theory, but a problematic one._ "If I'm more accepting of everything, as you put it, then why would I be sick? Why would I need an immune system? Why can't I eat all the other human food?"

"I haven't thought about that...again, it's just a theory, I need to take this down to the scientists. They'll be thrilled!" With that, the doctor launched from the room, leaving a very angry looking Tali that Shepard just noticed.

"You snuck a dextro tube of nutrient paste from me?!"

"Tali, I'm sor-"

"You could have had a bad reaction, you could have been poisoned, you could have _died!_ " Silence ensued, any mention of Shepard dying was still hard for her.

"Tali..."

"You're lucky that it's good for you, but it was only luck. Don't do something like that again, you're worth more than that." Shepard was reminded of the similar phrase after the Leviathan mission. Again he felt guilt.

"I'm _sorry,_ okay?"

Tali took a deep breath, she didn't want a repeat of what happened. "Okay, I forgive you, but don't _ever_ pull something like that again!"

"Yes ma'am!"

"Guess I'll have to start ordering for two, now," Tali said as she launched back behind the curtain to continue working on her surprise. Kasumi glared at Shepard from when Tali disappeared, mouthing some words at him, _"Watch yourself, or I will gut you!"_ Shepard lifted his arm and pinched his index finger and thumb together, and extended the remaining three fingers in an _OK_ sign.

"The surprise should be done by the next couple days," Tali called.

"Can't wait."

* * *

 **Authors Note: I tried my best to throw in a little comedy here. Soon things will get even easier to read. Hope you enjoyed!**


	9. Chapter 9: I Am Yours

The past few days have been painstakingly slow. Doctor Philanksis has came in with different scientists to check on Shepard's condition and to run tests. Since the inclusion of dextro nutrient paste to his diet, he has been slowly gaining back nutrients that he needed to grow healthy. Tali was relieved, of course, but it has been tedious work modifying the surprise enviro-suit to fit Shepard, adding digits to the gloves, making the legs straight. She wondered if she should add indents for the toes as well, like quarians, who's toes were more spread apart, but then she remembered humans wore little sacks underneath their boots called socks. She's seen plenty lying around in Shepard's cabin.

She tried her best to make it resemble the N7 armor that he always wore. The outer armor casing of the suit was black with an N7 symbol glued onto the corner of the chest. She didn't have much time to paint the stripes down on the right arm, so she settled for making the decorative cloth red, where she sowed white whorl patterns that mimicked her own into the cloth to remind him of her as a special touch.

The last piece was the visor, golden like the visor on his old helmet, which was probably smoldering in the ash somewhere. She was reminded again how humans and quarians were different when she made the part of the visor closest to his eyes more translucent so he could see well. Quarians eyes were much more powerful than humans, being able to penetrate the normal blurriness of most quarian visors.

Right now she was just making sure the systems in the suit were working. She glanced at the clock and worked faster. _Oh no! Auntie Raan will be here soon! I need to get this done!_ Tali's plan was to use the suit to ease any possible worries that her Aunt might have with her interspecies relationship, she didn't exactly know where she stood on a topic like this. She thought the suit might help her think of Shepard as a quarian himself. _He_ _will be just_ _like us!_

She was also excited to get him out of this cramped hospital. It would be fun watching him get used to the suit that she worked very hard on for him. She could already see him running out of the hospital, desperate to gain back the muscle he's lost in the past month from being on strict bed rest.

She looked over her omni-tool to see if any errors or malfunctions would pop up. Satisfied that she saw none, she folded up the suit and placed the helmet and boots on it. She took one last glance at the clock, Kasumi will be back with her Aunt in less than fifteen minutes. She took a deep breath. _Reveal time._

"John? Your surprise is ready!"

She heard him prop himself up on the sheets, "Finally! I've been dying to know what it is!"

She gave a soft smile at his enthusiasm, "Close your eyes," she sang.

"Alright."

"No peeking!" She picked up the suit, it was slightly heavier than she anticipated, but it was easy to carry nonetheless. She emerged from the other side of the curtain in one fluid motion and stepped in front of John to find him sitting up with hands over his eyes.

"Hold out your hands," she sang again.

He slowly held his arms out with eyes still tucked closed. He flexed his fingers in excitement. Tali gently set the suit down in his arms and paused a little to give the desired dramatic effect.

"Now...open them!"

His eyes opened softly as his sight took in the suit he had in his arms. He let out a large sigh of relief.

"What? You thought it would be worse?" She accused.

"No! I thought it was going to be something completely different. But Tali, this is amazing! Thank you! I don't know what to say! This is so thoughtful!"

She felt satisfied that his gratitude was genuine, "I love you too much to let you be cooped up in here. You need to stretch your legs."

John took another moment to take in his gift, "Tali...this is...I love you so much."

Tali took another look at her clock, "Put it on! Quickly! Auntie Raan will be here very soon!"

He gave her a questioning look but started to strip off his baggy white suit. Tali couldn't help but notice that his flesh was gaining back its color and his muscles, although weak due to the lack of use, were starting to look more structured. She was blushing and fought the urge to wring her hands. She awkwardly picked up the suit and began to unfold it, "H-here, let m-me help."

He didn't argue as he stripped the rest of his suit down to his underwear. Tali shoved the pants section into his arms rather forcefully, tearing her eyes away from exploring anything. Shepard stuck his feet into the pants and hoisted it up to his waist before stopping at the bottom of his boxers, which were in the way. This was a skin tight suit, after all.

"Uh, Tal? I need to u-use the curtain real quick."

Tali blushed harder as she realized what he meant, "Oh, oops, s-sorry. Forgot to tell you that. Go ahead."

Shepard pulled off the pants and walked behind the curtain. Tali continued to unfold the rest of the suit and organized the ornaments on the bed. Tali couldn't exactly describe how she felt at that moment. She felt like she was freeing John of his hospital bed, yet at the same time she felt like she was imprisoning him in a suit that he shouldn't have to wear. _He makes so many sacrifices...too many sacrifices._

In no time Shepard reemerged with his pants on and underwear in hand, which he promptly threw into a bin in the corner of the room. Tali picked up the chest section of the suit and raised it above his head, where he raised his arms up to receive it. Tali brought it down and watched as his head pulled through the turtle-neck like collar that reached up below his jaw. The chest overlapped a flatter section of the pants and began to interlock with each other, becoming one.

Tali didn't know if John knew that the act of helping another person into their suit was incredibly romantic. It was another large act of trust, and she gave a small smile knowing that they worked so well together. Her heart began to beat faster from the moment.

She picked up the left sleeve of the suit and dragged it over his arm until it overlapped a flatter section of the suit at the shoulder, interlocking to also become a part of the suit. She picked up the right sleeve and did the same thing. Afterwards, she went behind him and starting tightening the buckles to make sure everything was skin tight.

Shepard himself began to understand how the suit worked and picked up the socks and started to put them on, doing the same interlocking. Tali waited as he also put on the gloves. Now, he was in the enviro-suit itself.

She grabbed the armor pieces and looked to Shepard.

"John? Do you n-need the a-armor? Or are you f-fine with just the cloth and h-helmet?"

Shepard pondered while Tali fidgeted with the pieces, "Give me it, I need to gain a little muscle weight, the armor will help with that."

Male suits were always more armored, so helping a bondmate or lifemate into their armor was especially romantic for the females. The men felt a strong amount of pride when wearing their armor, it reminded them of their roles of protectors to the women and children and their ships. She was reminded once again how John was different. He didn't wear armor to feel pride or powerful, but as a duty, a responsibility to protect not just women and children of his own species, but all life.

Ignoring Shepard's protesting, she pushed him back onto the bed and helped him into the thigh pieces and boots. After that, she picked up the first pair of decorative cloth and strapped it around the thighs. Next was the torso, she picked up the torso piece and signaled Shepard to stand up. Shepard's legs were unbowed, so she simply pulled it up around his groin until the top of the piece reached to his neck as he uncomfortably squeezed his arms into the holes.

Before continuing, she embraced him into a hug. She squeezed him tight, and just stood there. All she needed was him in her arms, the feel of his existence beyond her gloved fingers. She would normally curse the suits between them, but then it didn't matter. His warmth was felt, even if it wasn't physically. She felt happier as he returned the hug, bringing her closer to him.

"Tali, I can never say this enough, but I love you."

 _"Se'tum croom._ I am yours, forever," she responded.

Reluctantly, she let go of their embrace and helped him with his arm pieces and gauntlets. The shoulder armor reached above the torso insuring maximum protection, and the gauntlets fit Shepard's fingers perfectly. He was already looking very quarian like. She picked up the waist and arm belts that had pouches attached to them, and started strapping them to their respective places, adding a few tubes of nutrient paste to each of them, just in case he got hungry for a snack. Up next were the final pieces, the helmet and the cloth.

She started out with the decorative cloth. She wrapped it around his broad shoulders and over his chest, folding it and leaving slack for when he put on his helmet. She then got the last belt that went over his chest and strapped it over his armor, tightening the buckle to secure the cloth. She gleamed a finger over the buckle, where a small N7 logo was embossed over the normal circular pattern. The cloth covered the other logo on the chest armor, so she added one to the buckle to make sure it was visible somewhere.

The suit was nearly finished. She hoisted the helmet over his head and he greeted it with enthusiasm as she lowered it slowly. The male helmets were more elongated than the females, so she curled her fingers under the speaker light and fastened the helmet to the suit with no problem. She took the first pair of slack from the cloth and fastened it under the helmet, covering his neck. Then she spun Shepard around and took the long cords that were a part of the back of the helmet and hooked them up to his armor that covered his back. She heard a beep as the suit systems responded to the connection. She then took the last bit of slack from the cloth and pressed it over his helmet, the red and white whorls stretching over the black.

Then the last piece was needed. She slowly raised the golden visor but paused to look at Shepard's face.

"I'm going to miss being able to look at that all the time," she whispered.

"I know, but we must be patient, we both don't have to worry about it much longer."

"First, my immune system had to adapt to you. Now, we have to wait longer for you to adapt to me," a tear nearly broke through her eye.

"Remember, not much longer. Here, I'll help."

He raised his own hands to grasp onto the visor and together they both slowly brought it down over his face, hissing as it locked onto the helmet. The suit was completed.

She embraced him in another hug. He returned it and rubbed small circles on her back. This was another special moment for her, helping her bondmate into his own suit. It was a moment that was beautiful, and sad. It was two sides of the same coin, both freeing Shepard from immobility in exchange for imprisoning him with restrictions of the outside world. But the hug was comforting, it eased any sadness from the repercussions of the payment. They danced a little as the spun in a small half circle, exchanging positions on the floor. She half opened her eyes and her heart skipped a beat once she saw her Auntie leaning on the doorway with arms folded.

"I see that gaining support of the quarian fleet wasn't the only reason why the Commander saved our homeworld."

"Auntie! I-I-I-" she stammered as she pushed herself away from Shepard.

"Tali, I get the point. I mean I had my suspicions since the trial, but I didn't expect... _this."_

"Raan, I can explain-" she tried to interrupt.

"I knew what and... _who_ we needed to talk about. But now my questions are when, where, _why?"_

"Auntie, please, I'm sorry I didn't tell you! I thought you would d-disapprove and-and-and-" she wrung her hands furiously.

Raan seem fairly calm from the news. She simply got off the wall and beckoned her into the decontamination chamber on the other side of the door. Before Tali moved, Raan lifted her head to grab Shepard's line of sight, "Do you mind if I borrow her for a moment?"

"Not at all. But please, be easy," Shepard's speaker light flashed.

 _That doesn't sound good._ Tali nervously followed her to the other side of the door and looked back to find any assurances from him, but because of his visor, she couldn't see so much as a smile. But his non-luminescent eyes were warm, so she accepted that. The door closed and she was left alone in the small, cramped room with her Auntie. A long moment of silence lingered as Tali wrung her hands and lowered her head to help think up of answers to all the questions that Raan might have.

"Tali, I'm not angry with you. Shepard messaged me about this, and your friend, Miss Goto, gave me more details as well."

Tali looked up at her in surprise, "You're n-not angry? And...you _knew?"_

"Yes! I just barely said that in the other room!" Raan motioned.

"Oh..."

"Tali, I'm not your mother, nor am I your real aunt. So I can't exactly say whether I disapprove or not."

"But you're the closest to a mother I have! Your opinions matter!"

"Tali, I'm very flattered, and yes, I care for you as much as your real mother did. But it's _your_ choice. I just want to know when, where, and why?"

Tali paused to take in the news, thinking over Raan's words. "Really?" Her Aunt nodded. This was such a turn of events from what she expected. What she imagined was a very angry woman who looked like she was about to throttle her niece's human lover. Relieved of only a few of her worries, Tali gathered her thoughts and launched into the love story of her and Shepard.

"Well, I developed feelings for him since we first met. As you know, he saved me from thugs on the Citadel when I was on my pilgrimage. Although at the time, I tried to convince myself it was ridiculous, as most would think," she made a small gesture with her hand.

"We developed a close friendship with each other and our other friend, Garrus, when we were taking down Saren. We became something of a trio over time." She paused to reflect on the good times they had before continuing. "Even after our victory against Sovereign, I never confessed to him before he died. Mainly because of the fact that I haven't finished my pilgrimage and wasn't considered an adult, but he helped me out with that by giving me the Geth data. His generosity just made me admire him more. I figured that after I completed my pilgrimage, I would finally confess."

Raan thought over her words as she propped her chin with her thumb and first finger, "But you never got to. I remember, that's why you were devastated when you returned, I thought it was because of the shock of being attacked and escaping an exploding ship."

"Yes...and then... _two_ years later, he comes back from the dead to help me complete _two_ missions, and saved me, _again!"_

Raan nodded, "Veetor on Freedom's Progress and the Geth Colossus on Haestrom, I remember."

"Yes! Then...the trial," she took a moment to clear her head of the painful memory, "He saved me from being exiled, he comforted me when my father died! You see? How could I not love him?!"

Raan took a deep breath, "I'm starting to ask that question myself."

Delighted that her aunt was understanding, she pressed on with her story, "I dropped a fairly large hint after that, so he came down to Engineering and that's when I stumbled out a confession."

"Oh? How?"

"We were talking about quarian suits, I um, accidentally let something slip...but I regained some confidence and just asked him how could I possibly have interest in a dashing commander that rescued me and took me on an adventure to save the galaxy."

"Seems more sarcastic than a confession."

"Well, it got the message across. I was ready to be shut down, but he didn't! He felt the same way I did about him!" Tali bounced a little on her toes. "That's when we started on our new relationship."

Raan's eyes narrowed to an accusing glare, "Tali..."

She recognized what she meant and waved her arms, "Oh no! We didn't do anything like that! Although we did...sleep together."

"Tali!"

"Only a few times! But we never did anything!"

Raan covered her visor with her hands in discomfort and just held her head, "Please just...continue before I-I-...I don't know. Just please, continue your story."

Tali wrung her hands slightly and did what was asked, "That was after the crew was captured by the Collectors. We went on a mission with low chance of survival to rescue them. John saved me once again on that mission. Even as going as far to risk his own life for me! We could've both died that day..." She paused and remembered the horrors of humans being processed to make a human reaper, something that still gave her nightmares.

"Then, he was taken away from me by the Alliance. I became an admiral. But he did not give up on me. He was already going through so much. We lost our friend Mordin, when he cured the krogan Genophage. But he continued on and went as far as to save our homeworld! He did that! For us! He doesn't care about only me, but our entire species! After that...well, you know the rest."

Raan nodded her head slowly, "And I remember after he saved the galaxy to insure not just our homeworld's safety, but every homeworlds safety...a certain woman who dealt with fear, loss, and despair, spent time drifting among the open stars, along tides of light, and shoals of dust, did not give up to return to where she once began, next to his side."

Tali stood in shock of what she meant, and a small tear of joy dripped from her Auntie's wholehearted approval.

"But..." Tali looked up again at her with confusion. "I do have one concern." She let the words hang in the air to make sure she had Tali's full attention. "Your happiness is important to me. I do not expect this to work out fully. Even if you two manage to want a deeper relationship, he cannot give you children."

This was one question Tali expected, and so she prepared an answer that she herself did not entirely like. "I know, I was hoping to approach Mordin on the matter, but...you know. But I have decided that if we couldn't have a child of our own, we could adopt."

"Is that what you want?"

"Nothing in the galaxy would please me more," Tali answered confidently.

Raan took another deep breath, "That's more or less all I wanted to know. You have made your choice. I just pray to the Ancestors that it will grant you happiness."

Tali embraced Raan in a warm hug, "And all I wanted was your approval. Don't worry Auntie, I will be happy." Raan returned the hug and let the moment pass.

"You remind me so much of your mother. So determined to love, and showing it in extraordinary ways. Making that suit for him is no exception."

"Thank you, Auntie Raan."

* * *

Shepard waited awhile for the two women to return into the room. He decided on getting used to his new suit by doing stretches, which was an awful idea. His nerves shocked him as he bent over to touch his toes and he fell onto the floor, cursing under his breath. The sound of the door opened. _Perfect timing._

"John! Are you alright? What happened?"

"Oh nothing, just my body doing electro-shock therapy on itself is all."

Tali helped him onto his feet and started checking over his suit, "Your nerves acting up?" Shepard nodded his head as he hugged Tali, "Yeah, don't worry, it'll heal in a month or two."

"Perhaps we shouldn't go outside just yet, I didn't think about that."

"No, no, no. We'll go outside. I just need to speak with your Auntie first."

Both Tali and Raan looked at him questioningly, "About what?" They asked. He poked Tali's mask teasingly and spoke directly to her, "That is a secret. Don't worry, it'll be quick." He made for the door and beckoned Raan to return into the small room. He closed the door and made sure Tali couldn't hear them before turning to face her.

"So, what do you think?"

"I think that I approve of your relationship with her, you obviously make her very happy."

Shepard gave a small sigh of relief as he mentally checked Raan's approval off as a step forward in his plan. "Okay, now I have to ask you something very important. I don't entirely trust the extranet about this so I thought it would be best if I heard this from you."

The pause roped Raan in, "Okay...go on."

He took the deepest breath in his existence and gathered his words in his head, "H-how...how does one...ask...a quarian...to be their...lifemate?"

"...WHAT?!"

He urged closer to Raan to try to calm her down, "Shh! Shh! Tali will hear us!"

Raan lowered her voice significantly but still held her fire, "A lifemate?! With Tali?! So soon?! Commander, I only just found out about your relationship and you're already asking me about how to ask Tali to become your lifemate?!"

Shepard continued to do his best to calm down the raging Aunt, "No, you only just _confirmed_ our relationship! She means the universe to me and since you approved, I thought I'd ask you!"

"I know but...it's all so fast!"

"If you're worried about how much time we dated, I'm sure our experiences working together can make up for all that. We've seen enough to fill a lot of lifetimes."

"No, it's just all too fast for _me_. I didn't expect this too happen for awhile after finding out. But...now?"

"Easy, I don't plan on asking her until before we leave for Rannoch in three months."

"Well thanks for making it slower," she said sarcastically.

"Raan, please. We've been through hell and back multiple times, I think this is a good time as any. Besides, you might be able to help me gain the approval of someone else."

"Who? I have to remind you that I'm the closest to a relative that Tali has, unless you're talking about the crew, which makes no sense."

"That's a secret. Just know that your help will make things a lot easier."

Raan took a deep breath but didn't pusue the secret person any farther, "Okay, fine, I guess I'll tell you how quarians propose." Shepard let out a small sigh of relief before she continued.

"Keep in mind that it's very simple, since we didn't have much resources. Really, all you do is offer a small gift that means a great deal to you, normally it's a piece of your suit or a family trinket. This is basically asking her to join your clan or family. You hand it to her and, to the best of my translation ability, ask, using Tali as an example, 'Tali'Zorah vas Normandy nar Rayya, my bondmate, I feel that our love is accepted by the Ancestors, so I ask if you would join my family, Shepard, as my lifemate. Do you accept?' and that's when she would reply."

 _That's much different than how the extranet puts it. I'm sure one article just slapped how rats mated and called it good. That pisses me off._ Shepard thought that the proposal was fairly similar to humans, except without the special destination and the dropping on one knee. But one thing he wanted to do was propose in her native tongue. "Raan, do you think you can give me the proposal in Khelish? I think it would make things less confusing."

"Great idea, it'll also be more special. I'll send it to you now," she opened up her omni-tool and sent the translation, although reluctantly. Before Shepard could open the door, Raan shoved him against the wall and edged closer to his face, making him gulp in fear.

"This is a lot for me to take in, so if I end up making a mistake, and you break her heart, I will rip off your helmet and throw you into the most disgusting place I find. Got it?!" She snarled.

"Yes ma'am!"

"Good. Don't make me regret helping you."

She quickly calmed from raging aunt to Admiral Shala'Raan vas Tonbay, regaining her normal...normalness. _Keelah, she can be scary when she wants to be. I don't know how to feel if she becomes my Auntie-In-Law. Wait, did I just say, "Keelah?"_ She backed off from Shepard and made for the door.

"Come on, let's take Tali on a walk." She opened the door and beckoned her niece, "Come, Tali, let's go stretch our legs."

Tali's purple form moved into the room and hugged him. He looked down in surprise but hugged her back anyway, "It's only been a few minutes!"

"Feels like ages for me."

Shepard couldn't help but smile and have his heart melt from her adorableness. "Come on, Miss vas Normandy, let's go see how many people we can surprise with my new outfit."

"Yes, let's."

They were in the elevator before a question popped to his mind, "Don't I need to go on a pilgrimage now? Is this my child suit or adult suit?"

Tali laughed hard and struggled to give her answer, "I'm sure you proved your worth a long time ago. When you gave us the best pilgrimage gift of all time!"

Shepard smiled as he remembered their time on Rannoch. He already could envision themselves in a beautiful house looking over a small ocean on the desert planet. He looked down to the beautiful quarian next to him that returned his sight of love. He tapped the top part of his visor to hers.

The quarian equivalent of a kiss.

* * *

 **Authors Note: I hoped that I improved timing when the characters speak. I tend to write slow and read fast. So word of advice to self, read slow as well, it makes timing better. Anyways, I hope you enjoyed this chapter!**


	10. Chapter 10: Alone Together

Tali looked to Shepard as he eyed the message on his omni-tool. They only been out of the hospital for a few hours and they have already received word from Admiral Hackett about an upcoming special ceremony taking place in London, and he had a part to play. She could tell he seemed very worried as he sat ridged and his arm shook slightly.

"What's wrong?" She asked as she fidgeted on a barrel next to him. They were in a camp near where the Normandy was parked and all their friends were around to see Shepard's new suit. "I don't know, I'm just not used to giving speeches to every species in the galactic community," he said anxiously. Tali squeezed his arm lovingly and reassured him, "You'll be just fine."

"I hope so," he replied as he checked over the white machine that was hooked up to his suit. Doctor Chakwas caught him before he left the building and hooked him up to a miniaturized version of the machine that was in his room. He held it on the back of his waist the same way that Tali would hold her shotgun.

"You were able to put it off for this long Shepard, everyone, including reporters, have all been waiting over a month to hear from you," Garrus said as he rocked from a makeshift hammock near them. "I appreciate you holding them off for me," Shepard replied. Garrus chuckled, "I cover your ass all the time, I'm just sad there were no sniper rifles involved."

Shepard let out a hearty laugh, "I missed you man." Garrus gave a wink, "That's because you're a lousy shot." Shepard retaliated by raising a pointing finger, "Hey! Don't make me come over there!"

Tali smiled as her lover and best friend exchanged quips and jokes, something she missed greatly. _The gang's all here._

"I'd be careful, Garrus, this man wiped out an entire race of reapers, I don't think a simple turian would be much of a match for him," Liara said from the other side of the smoking fire pit. "I don't think anything ever will be a match for Loco anymore," James put in. "It was one hell of a save the Commander did," Jacob agreed.

"Could we please talk about something else?" Shepard asked nervously. Understanding dawned on them and Tali. He was obviously still processing the memories. For the crew, it has been a little over a month, but Shepard lost two weeks out of that time.

Kaidan nervously grunted, "Well, I don't think Garrus needs to cover you anymore, you seem to do well hiding in plain sight," he motioned to the suit. "Yeah, I don't know whether to keep calling you Loco or Sparks 2.0," James joked.

Shepard reached over and grabbed Tali by the waist, scooching her barrel closer to him, "Thank the beautiful Engineer next to me. She made it." Tali noticed her Auntie giving a hard stare.

Kasumi looked like she was about to die from the amount of cute she just witnessed. Garrus, however, just snorted, "Don't get me wrong Shepard, I missed you as well, but if you're going to be mushy gushy with each other, could you do it at the hospital?" Kasumi punched his shoulder lightly to protest his distaste, "Stop!"

They heard a rustle of grass and turned to see Joker hobbling towards them, "It's nice to get out of the ship every once in a while. Oh hey Tali! Long time no see! Who are your friends?"

She grabbed both Shepard's and Raan's hands and looked at him. "Joker, I like you to meet my Auntie Raan, member of the Admiralty board, and..."

"It's good to meet you again, Joker," Shepard interrupted as Joker shook hands with Raan. Although his voice was slightly warped from the helmet, his voice was still distinguishable. Joker's eyes widened as he looked over his old friend thought dead. "Commander! You look...ah...well...better! I mean, I heard about what happened, but I didn't expect to see you wearing a uh..."

"It's alright, Joker, where have you been?" Shepard asked. Joker extended his thumb and pointed behind him towards the Normandy. "I just had some people help me look over the plan copies of EDI's body. We're trying to make her a new one."

"EDI?"

"Yeah, she got shut down after the...explosion...But Tali managed to fix her up! So...here she is!" Joker fumbled with a pocket until he pulled out a long object with a glowing, electric blue light.

"Hello, Commander Shepard, it's been too long," came EDI's voice. Shepard looked shocked, "EDI! I'm glad you're still alive!"

"As am I. According to the reports I compiled from my systems, I am reaper-tech free, thanks to Tali. I couldn't be here without her," the A.I. praised. Tali felt warm as Shepard hugged her, "You didn't tell me about this!"

"I didn't think that I needed to," she replied as she returned the embrace. Raan, however, looked confused, but stayed silent. Joker took a careful seat between Raan and Kaidan and started breaking twigs absent-mindedly. "I see Tali had some design input on your suit," he pointed to the whorls on the cloth.

"Actually she made the whole thing," Shepard replied. "No I didn't!" Tali interjected, "I just modified the hands and legs and picked out the colors and design!"

Joker laughed, "That's still like, half of the suit. I just didn't know that you could actually make one!" Tali gave a small sarcastic laugh, "These suits keep us from dying! Of course every quarian knows how to make one!"

"Oh. Okay then," Joker said awkwardly.

"Speaking of which, I better teach this guy how to make one after his speech," she elbowed Shepard. Joker looked to him, "You have to give a speech?"

He groaned, "Yeah, at the ceremony this weekend."

"Do you think anyone's going to believe that you're Commander Shepard, wearing that?"

Shepard went to scratch his cheek, only to be stopped by the mask. Obviously it was a gesture he used when thinking. "Eh, I don't really care. Once I'm done with it, they can think whatever they want."

Joker smiled devilishly, "And then...we can hold a party afterwards!"

"I'm ready to party!" James bursted. He looked sheepish as all eyes turned towards him, "What? Aren't you guys?" He looked less embarrassed as everyone agreed with him enthusiastically. "But where at? I am sure the apartment is just a memory now," Shepard interrupted. Tali interlaced her fingers with his and gave a squeeze, "Don't worry, we'll find some place. But for now," she stood him up, "Let's continue our walk? Then you can get to work on your speech."

"Yes ma'am," Shepard said. Raan got up to join them but Tali stopped her, "Why don't you stay here Auntie? Get to know the crew a little more?" Raan looked reluctant, these weren't the kinds of people she was used to talking to, but she agreed and sat down.

Tali felt excited to get some alone time with Shepard outdoors so she eagerly grabbed his hand and bounced off, dragging him behind her. She smiled and blushed when she heard a rather loud, "Aww!" from Kasumi. She kept running until they left the Normandy behind and its crew, coming into a smaller park area. The sun was high and the sky was a rich blue, she's never seen so much at once. The park seemed to be spared of the wrath of the war, its green trees standing and even some of the benches didn't have so much as a speck of ash on them. She slowed down and allowed for Shepard to match her step next to her, panting as he did so.

"Man, keep that up any longer and my legs would've fallen off!" Tali giggled as she hugged him, "I'm sorry, I completely forgot you were a human." She poked his mask teasingly. A sudden realization of the view in front of her made her take a deep breath as she took it in. It was _perfect._ It was him surrounded by green trees, and the sky stretching overhead. _How can something so alien be so beautiful?_ She realized that she didn't really need to understand what she saw to respect its beauty. She started to doubt whether Rannoch could ever compare to this.

"What?" Shepard asked. She took another long moment of silence before speaking, as if the sight would break in front of her, "I love this...us together...here...The trees and the sky, and you in my arms, with all of our greatest worries behind us." Shepard squeezed her hand tightly as he looked around himself, also taking in the sight. Tali could tell something was ticking inside his mind, just the way his head moved, some ideas were forming in his brain, but she didn't know _what._

"I never been much of a summer guy, but before we leave, right in the fall, you're in for a treat," he said. "Oh? What's that?" Tali asked.

"The leaves start to turn into rich golden colors. Reds, oranges, yellows. They begin to fall, hence the name, and it's truly a magical time. Children like to rake up the leaves into piles and jump in them. Although I doubt there'll be any children here by then. Parents tend to not want to raise kids in a place that used to be a war zone." Tali's imagination took effect as she thought of all the warm colors and laughter of small children from the season. She heard plenty of different seasons from different planets but she never got to witness the unique ones herself. She's seen plants on the flotilla lose some leaves, but not much of them changed colors. _Will the trees on Rannoch do the same?_ She never saw much large plant growth from her time on her homeworld. Again she started wondering if Rannoch could compete with what she was witnessing. "That sounds lovely," she said.

Shepard sighed as they resumed walking until they hit a roundabout in the road, "Yeah, Earth has been a good home, even if most of my memories aren't totally fond of it."

 _This is new._ Tali looked at him curiously. In all her time, she never really asked Shepard about his childhood. "What happened?" Shepard chuckled slightly as he prepared mentally for his story, "I wasn't always the, 'Savior of the Galaxy,' you know. I lived on the streets in some large cities, picking up scraps. I was, uh...an orphan. My dad died before I was born, and my mom died when I was a kid. They were both in the Alliance Military, but I ran off once I found her passed away in the morning. I got involved with gangs and they hid me from the Alliance. Everything went south that day."

 _Keelah, why did I have to open my big mouth?_ "John, I'm sorry I asked, you don't have to talk about it if you don't want to. I'm so sorry for reopening old wounds." She had to admit that she was surprised that he wasn't always the perfect man that he was today. But he only shook his head. "No, you deserve to know. You told me so much about yourself, I shouldn't be a stranger to you. Besides, that isn't even the worst part."

Tali nodded and listened as he continued. "I hid for several years and did some of the gangs more intricate work. Crawling into small spaces and stuff like that. I did crimes, they were petty but crimes nonetheless. I regretted those years with every fiber of my being. I finally escaped it all when I enlisted...Anderson...actually set me straight." She could tell that he was still recovering from the death of the closest father figure he had. She understood how that felt, even if her father wasn't the closest person in the galaxy. She allowed him a few moments thought. "The worst part, still give me nightmares...Actually, I don't think I should talk about it on a beautiful day like this," he said. "Maybe another day. Let's just forget it and enjoy this."

"If that's what you need," Tali replied. They had long passed the roundabout and went over some fallen walls into an even larger park. Soon they came across a small river and took the path next to it. They held each other's hands closely and rubbed shoulders as they walked. They wanted to be as close as possible. They were walking somewhat parallel of the scene that happened over a month ago, inching slightly closer.

She thought back to their talk of seasons. _John is not a summer person._ She never knew much about what he favored, only about his actions. That was how she fell in love with him, how he always did what's right. It was about time she changed that. "So, I don't think we know some of the more personal information about each other," Tali hinted. "What do you mean?"

"I mean that we don't really know each other's preferences, what we like to do and how we like to do things. Important events like birthdays and such."

Tali could practically feel his smile behind his mask, "What would you like to know? Shepard Q and A is ready to go!" Tali laughed at his impression of a talk show host. She raised her hand and replied, acting like a member from an unseen audience, "Yes, Mr. Shepard! When is your birthday?" Shepard let out a cartoonish chuckle, "I'm glad you asked, Miss vas Normandy! I'll have you know that my birthday is on the 11th of April of the year 2157!"

Tali stealthily added the note to her omni-tool, calculating the Earth's general time with Rannoch's. "Now, we like to do a little twist on the show tonight! Where I, Mr. Shepard, will ask the audience a question about themselves!" Shepard said with an even goofier grin. "Ooh! Ooh! Pick me!" Tali said with excitement.

"Yes, Miss vas Normandy! I was hoping to ask you, when is your birthday?" Tali looked over her calculations quickly, "Um, March 20th of 2161? So, under a four year difference?" Shepard shook his head, dropping the talk show host act, "Nah, two."

"But-"

"I was dead, remember?"

"But-"

"I didn't exist for two years, Tali. In my mind, I'm still...Twenty Eight! Holy, I'm getting old."

 _I didn't think about that._ How does resurrection factor into the time frame of someone's life? Existence versus Time was a weird concept to think about. It made her brain hurt, so she decided to drop it and just take John's idea as fact and didn't question it.

"So, what do you like to do?" Tali asked. Shepard laughed, "Spending time with you!" Tali rolled her eyes but blushed, "Besides me, of course." Tali couldn't handle compliments well, it was in her unselfish nature. Besides, she was on a mission to know more about her human bondmate and she wasn't going to let anything get in her way, not even herself. _That's a really weird thought. Reminds me of when John was fighting that clone of himself on the Citadel. What were his exact words? "No one steals my ship, not even me?"_

"Well, I enjoy hanging out and talking with the crew, playing those video games or simulators. Basically whatever everyone else is doing," Shepard answered. Tali could've guessed that. Shepard's social nature always reminded her of her crushing days when she would wait for him to make his, "rounds," through the ship where he would talk to everyone. She loved those days, but she loved these ones even more, now that he was hers.

"Anything you like to do personally?" She asked. Shepard rubbed his helmet in thought, "Those video game simulators...Reading, as well...Um, listening to music, I love that...Oh! Model making, can't forget that, either...and um, not much else really," he finished. "What about you, anything you like to do besides singing, dancing, and watching vids?" He joked.

Tali blushed slightly as she remembered that night when they were watching, "Fleet and Flotilla." But her mind also went back to the song she sang when she thought Shepard had died. _One last time. One long last time._ She smiled before remembering that she had a question to answer. "I like pretty much everything that involves tech and engineering. Not much else."

"Are you sure?"

Tali let her mind search for anything else she liked to do, she found one, but wasn't sure about it, "I also like to...write."

Shepard craned his neck, "Writing? Like in a journal or..?"

"Journals and...stories. Stories are fun to write. I really get to use my imagination."

"Do you have anything already written? Anything I can read?"

Tali thought about her stories. Lots of them were more romantic, and...heavily influenced by Shepard. She wasn't sure if he would catch on to the strong similarities. If he did, would he judge her? Her mind drew a blank but she answered anyway, "Um, I have some back on the s-ship." Shepard started to turn around and head toward the camp, "Great! I bet you could be an amazing author!"

 _Oh no._ Tali gripped his arm rather forcefully and resumed walking the same way, "No! Come on, let's continue our walk. I'm enjoying this." Shepard's eyes rolled as he silently obeyed and kept going alongside the river. Tali wrapped her arms around his side. She had a list of questions mentally prepared to ask him, but because of her recent save from potential embarrassment, she forgotten them all. So she decided on asking him about the future instead, "Any plans?"

"The ceremony, another one of Joker's parties. _Multiple_ surprises for you, and then we head for Rannoch."

 _Surprises? Ooh! I'm excited!_ Tali thought for a moment. But then she thought once again about Rannoch. A question creeped into her mind and she decided to ask it. "John, are you sure you want to live on Rannoch?" This caught his interest.

"Yeah, why? I promised to build you a house, I intend to fulfill that promise."

"But Earth is your home, and it's beautiful. If you wanted, we could live here. I don't mind."

Shepard looked down at her and answered reassuringly, "Tali, Rannoch is beautiful, too. It even reminds me of Utah. Love that place, and the people are great, too. I bet it would be even better with you, and I'm sure there are plenty of trees and color somewhere...And besides, yes, Earth _was_ my home. As I said, I'm not entirely fond of it. I think it's best if we lay our roots on your homeworld."

Tali smiled at his words. Yes, Rannoch was where she was meant to be. How could she have doubted that? "My parents always called me their Little Purple Rose of Rannoch."

"Also, some of my surprises _are_ on Rannoch, so..."

"Well _that_ definitely sells me."

They both laughed and hugged each other tighter. It was cut short when a bright flash went off from the bushes and they saw someone crouched and holding a camera. The bushes ruffled and the person scurried from view after they have taken their snapshot. Shepard groaned, "Stupid reporters, no, stalkers! Tabloid stalkers!"

Tali chuckled, "I wonder what insane story they'll come up with this time."

He raised his hands as if presenting a headline, "Shepard caught laughing about Earth! Hater of humans?"

Tali laughed harder at that. She took a few moments to catch her breath before speaking again, "As funny as that would be, I don't think that they will know that you are the Commander Shepard, with the quarian outfit."

"True, although they might notice the fingers and legs, any ideas why they would want your picture?" This time is was Tali's turn to present a headline, "Normandy Crew member Tali'Zorah converting humans? Honored Admiral or Cult Leader?" She felt proud of her quick-wit as Shepard bent over laughing. "You would definitely make a great author!" He said in between breaths of air and chuckles. They continued on giving funny headline ideas as they walked around the park. They stopped by a small lake and sat down next to each other and just...talked. Tali never thought she would see the day that they could enjoy each other's company without the threat of death looming over them. She smiled as one topic came to their future.

"You know, it will be a lot of work, building that dream house of yours. I think once we get it done, we should have a vacation."

"But we won't need a vacation from _our_ dream house?"

"I know, but I mean a vacation from it all. Away from everything, your duty, your job...everything."

"What about you?"

"Me? I'm planning on resigning from the Alliance."

Tali felt shock roll over her from Shepard's words, "You are?"

"Yeah, I think I've done enough breaking down, shooting and destroying things, and all the stress that comes with it. I think it would be nice to actually contribute and help build things. Maybe do some carpenter or general contractor work?" Tali felt her heart warming and spoke with support, "The Savior of the Galaxy wanting a modest job? Now that's a sight to see. So where do you want to go?"

"Well I have quite a lot of credits, so I thought we should go somewhere tropical and warm, where we can enjoy the sun and the ocean and its beaches. We can eat some delicious food and enjoy the sights. Somewhere we can pass off as strangers and nobody knows who we are. Just the nice things."

Tali's cheeks hurt as she smiled, her thoughts nearly lined up exactly with his. "I thought you weren't much of a summer person?"

"Doesn't mean I can't enjoy it every once in a while."

She grabbed his hand and gave it a squeeze, "Once we settle down, I _promise_ we'll do just that."

Together they just took in the sight of each other.

Tali caught notice of her clock, it was getting later in the afternoon, and as if Shepard read her mind, he said, "Hey, we need to get back, I have a speech to prepare." Tali raised on her feet with him, both swiping grass from their undersides and walking back towards the camp, "And I have a lesson to prepare," she responded. Shepard groaned as he realized what she meant, "Do I have to know every single detail of a quarian suit for that lesson?" Tali gave a small smirk, "No, you have to know every detail of a quarian suit for over _several_ lessons."

She gave a small laugh when he let out an even larger groan. "Kill me now."

"Come on you big baby, let's go see how my Auntie thought about the crew." He worked out a few kinks in his muscles and responded, "Probably that we're all a bunch of bosh'tets." Tali looked at him in surprise when he used the Khelish swear word, "That's a little extreme, don't you think?" He gave a small shrug, "I don't know what it means."

"Didn't anyone ever tell you not to say something unless you knew what it meant?"

"Do you care to enlighten me with its meaning?"

Tali thought for a moment, "Nah, I think it would be fun to let you suffer in ignorance."

"When did my woman become so cruel?"

"Your woman?"

She was caught by surprise when he wrapped her up in his arms and brought her closer to him, one hand on her waist and the other on the side of her helmet. His eyes pierced hers and she felt the intensity of the moment. With only a few words, she nearly melted in his arms. "Yes, _mine._ And Se'tum croom." She gave a small squeak and tapped her mask against his, "I love you. Oh so much!"

"And I love you."

* * *

 **Authors Note: Sometimes there are long intervals of time between these chapters. I'll say it here before people fear I give up on the story, I DO update. The story is not over until I say it is, or if I leave a note saying I gave up on it. I don't like leaving people in the dark.**


	11. Chapter 11: The Ceremony And The Party

**Authors Note: I want to make it clear that I did not write Admiral Hackett's speech, that comes from the game itself. Anyways, enjoy the chapter!**

* * *

It was late afternoon on a weekend. The sun shone a golden orange and the clouds were heavy. It would most likely rain tomorrow. There was a small roar despite the numerous amounts of people, and Shepard fidgeted with the note cards in his hands as he prepared to give his speech. Him, Tali, and their closest friends were all seated on the platform. There stood a podium front and center of the platform and the rest of the crew formed a small platoon below it. Around the crew was an ocean of seats where species of every kind that helped in the fight waited for the ceremony to begin.

 _That's a lot of people._ Shepard was good at speeches, but this was different. All the other times were for rallying individual species for war, so he could say what that species needed to hear. This time, however, is after the war, and with different species mixed in. He feared that not everyone will receive it the same way.

But that wasn't his only reason. Here he was going to reveal his resignation to the public. Admiral Hackett knew about this, Shepard already told him and he accepted it sadly. He said that he understood and that the Alliance would not be the same without him. But the reason why he decided to reveal to the public was because he gained a reputation of always helping when asked. Shepard decided to destroy that reputation because he thought it was being a borderline mercenary, and also because he wanted some peace. He could only imagine what the, "press conference," is going to be like afterwards.

Shepard tried to engrave every word on his cards into his memory. It was only when Tali touched his arm that he noticed the horn had blew and Admiral Hackett had taken up the podium. The crew stood straighter, the crowd's noise died down, and everyone anticipated the Admiral's words. He gave a few pointless raps on the wood and cleared his throat. This was a ceremony of victory, but it was also a ceremony of remembrance.

"The war is over. The Reapers have been defeated. Against all odds, and in the face of the greatest threat this galaxy has ever known, we survived. We suffered many losses. The relays are severely damaged, but we won. This victory belongs to each of us...every man, woman, and child. Every civilization, on every world. Now, as we take our first steps toward restoring what we lost, we must remember what it took to win. This wasn't a victory by a single fleet, a single army, or even a single species. If this war has taught us anything, it is that we are at our strongest when we work together. And if we can put down our grievances long enough to stop something as powerful as the Reapers, imagine what we can achieve now that they are defeated. It will take time, but we can rebuild everything that was destroyed. Our homes, our worlds, our fleets and defenses. All of this...and more. Together, we can build a future greater than any one of us could imagine. A future paid for by the sacrifices of those who fought and died alongside us. A future that many will never see. And while we still have many challenges ahead of us...We can face them together. And we will honor those who died to give us that future."

 _"We would now like to invite you to join us in a Moment of Silence for those who have fallen."_

The sea of people bowed their heads and joined with the silence. The whisper of the breeze through them was as if the fallen were murmuring their final goodbyes. Shepard thought of all those that died for the cause. Mordin, Thane...Anderson...and so many others that he could not save. Shepard did not think it was long enough when the speaker called everyone back again.

 _"Thank you, we will now have a speech given by Commander John M. Shepard."_

Shepard's hands wavered as he stood up and walked over to the podium. Admiral Hackett took his gloved hand and gave it a firm shake and whispered in his audio receiver, "You'll do a good job, Shepard. You always do."

"Thank you, Admiral."

The older man smiled and walked back to his own seat next to some of the higher rankings of each species, Admiral Raan was next to him standing in place for the quarians. Shepard gave a loud sigh to test the microphone and tapped on his cards. _I really didn't want to do this._ His voice quivered slightly as he began.

"Thank you, Admiral Hackett. I couldn't have said it better myself."

Shepard glanced over the cards, the words were there but his eyes weren't taking them in. He started to panic slightly and looked back to Tali, her eyes giving a warm smile. That was all he needed. A surge of confidence came to him and he dropped the cards. _Ah, screw it._ He was going free.

"As you might have noticed," He extended his arms as if to invited everyone's curious gazes to his suit. "I can assure you that I am Shepard."

The laughs gave him an extra confidence boost. Wrex, who happened to be among the leaders gave the largest laugh. He waited for the voices to die down before he continued on.

"I apologize that my health has kept me under for these past weeks and I want to thank my lovely Engineer, Tali'Zorah vas Normandy nar Rayya, for making it possible for me to be here with you today," he extended his hand back towards the beautiful quarian and watched as her hands began to wring as many eyes flew to her. He would have to apologize later for putting her on the spot. "And also, before any further confusion, I want to say that I have retired from my position of a Commander in the Alliance." This caused many eyebrows to raise, his crew included.

"I spent years in the military dreaming of a better galaxy, so we could end the suffering and go to our homes. The Reapers have given us a lot of grief and taken many of our kind. It's been awhile since we defeated them, but we must give them credit for one good thing they have given us. A reason to unite. As Admiral Hackett had said, 'Together, we can build a future greater than any one of us could imagine.' I did not realize that this was how my dream would be fulfilled, far from it. But I wouldn't change it for the universe."

"I lost friends, and people who I considered family because of this war. But I believe that they are smiling and cheering for our victory alongside us. Together we stopped an unstoppable force, and together we will live on. Our children will live in such an era of peace that no species will have experienced before, and that's because we did this together. The sacrifices were great, but what we have left is still worth the insurmountable price that we paid for peace. We honor the many who have fallen, so many that it is impossible to count how many we have lost. We wish for peace on their souls. And so I thank each and every one of you that contributed in any way to win this. It will be awhile before we go home, so I want to thank everyone that is not native to this planet especially, whether you be Asari, Turian, Salarian, Krogan, Quarian, or any other species. We open our planet in hospitality for you in thanks for saving it. And as we go forth, the memory of our victory will be burned in history and our minds forever, and I ask you to remember it, to share it. And I would like to thank you all once again for coming together to achieve this era of peace."

As Shepard walked away to return to his seat next to Tali, the crowd gave a small round of clapping before the horn blew again.

 _"We would now like to give awards to those who have been a part of the Normandy Crew..."_

 _Wait, what? I didn't know about this! I just sat down!_

 _"...All those who contributed, please line up."_

Both Shepard and Tali awkwardly lined up next to the podium along with Garrus, Wrex, Kaiden, Liara, and Joker, with Shepard being first. Miranda, Jack, James, and Jacob served as squad leaders in the platoon below them. Admiral Hackett marched up to Shepard with someone holding a small box following him. He cleared his throat to test the new microphone that was attached to his uniform.

"For Shepard...we know you have retired, but we would like to give you a well deserved promotion of Captain. You are now known as Captain Shepard Systems Alliance Navy Retired."

 _Sounds like a mouthful._

"And for recognition of courageous and distinguished service that is above and beyond the call of duty, and as seen as an award to heroes of humanity, we like you to receive the Star Of Terra."

The shock overtook him. He did not expect to ever earn an award this high ever since he survived Akuze. His face remained hardened when the Admiral pinned it to his decorative cloth.

"And furthermore, the Citadel Council has made a new award given under your name. In recognition of courageous and distinguished service that is infinitely above the call of duty, for working in protection of all species while under extreme pressure, and accomplishing an amazing and unique feat, we give you the Shepard's Crook."

Shepard remained flabbergasted at his awards, even if his face didn't show it. Not that anyone could see it anyway. His mind focused to Tali as the Admiral moved down the line towards her. That was when he noticed Admiral Raan hovering behind him. She positioned himself next to the human Admiral and waited for the awards to be mentioned.

"For Admiral Tali'Zorah vas Normandy nar Rayya, you have given us a great reason why humanity should recognize its galactic neighbors. So for great courage and dedication to securing a better future for all species, and showing compassion and service while under pressure. We give you the Homeworld Medal."

The human Admiral gave a wink to Shepard while pinning it to her decorative cloth before taking the box from the person that was holding it. He positioned himself next to Garrus and faced Admiral Raan who stood in front of her niece. This time she spoke.

"The Conclave and Admiralty Board would like to also award Admiral Tali'Zorah vas Normandy nar Rayya. For outstanding service to the people, going above and beyond the call of duty while under pressure, and defining the traits of selflessness and compassion and duty, we would love for you to receive the _Lin'treclah."_ Shepard noticed that Tali was shaking uncontrollably and fidgeting with her hands as her Auntie reached into the box and pulled out a long, bronze colored chain with a purple crystal in the shape of some sort of leaf outlined in gold attached to it. She pulled apart the chain and raised it over her head.

Tali and Shepard's eyes met as the quarian Admiral rested the award on her shoulders and returned to her seat. Tali's luminescent eyes were wide circles of disbelief and refused to blink. Shepard guessed that she must've received a very important award in her culture.

Admiral Hackett returned the box to his helper and continued down the line, giving Homeworld Medals to all the nonhumans. The platoon below stood as two other people pinned smaller awards to their uniforms.

After the last person was recognized, Admiral Hackett took one last medal out of the box and headed to the podium. He raised it above his head to show another Star of Terra.

"We would like to award a great man who unfortunately could not stand with us today. Admiral Anderson was the first captain of the Normandy, and we would like to posthumously award him the Star of Terra. Rest in peace."

"Rest in peace," Shepard whispered.

 _"This concludes our ceremony, you may now go and celebrate your victory."_

At that, the sea of faces began to disperse from the field. Admiral Hackett put the medal back in the box and it's carrier headed off the platform. Shepard glanced at Tali only for a moment before she embraced him into a hug, one leg raised up behind her. "I can't believe it! Never would I have guessed that today I would get the Lin'treclah!"

Shepard tapped his mask against hers, "Seems pretty important, why don't-"

"I was going to congratulate you two on you awards," Admiral Hackett cut in, "But I guess I'm more interrupting?" He gave a large grin. Sweat seemed to break instantly on Shepard's forehead when realized what he and Tali were openly displaying. Tali also seemed to notice for she immediately broke their hug and started stuttering. Shepard calmed her down before replying.

"Uh, Admiral, Sir, what I think Tali is trying to say is-"

"No need Shepard. I thought this when Admiral Zorah here practically jumped off the ship when she returned. But I'll be honest Shepard, I would have never guessed it before, but I know you always make the right choice. I hope you two will find happiness."

Shepard smiled as he brought Tali closer to him, his confidence returning, "Thank you Admiral," he looked deep into her eyes, "But I think we already have."

The older man smiled wider and he turned away, walking off the platform. Shepard turned and shock filled him once again when he realized the Normandy Crew was still there, looking at them, smiling. He scratched the back of his helmet in embarrassment, "Ay, uh..."

Garrus clapped his hands and walked to the front of the platform in front of the crew, "Alright! Lovey Dovey stuff aside, who's ready to party?"

Everyone replied with enthusiasm and a loud, "Hell yes!" from Joker. The crew started going to the ship and Shepard thanked Garrus for the save, which he replied with a wink, "What did I say? Lousy shot." Shepard rolled his eyes and waited for the crew to pass him by before following with Tali next to him.

"What were you asking? Why don't what?" Tali questioned. "Hm?" Shepard remembered after a few moments, "Oh! I was going to ask, 'Why don't you tell me more about your award?'" Tali pinched the purple gem around her neck and brushed it with her other finger, "The Lin'treclah is the highest award anyone could ever get. It is very rare and very few receive it. It's very special."

Shepard chuckled, "Then you definitely earned it."

Tali returned the chuckle when she realized what he meant. "It has also become some sort of good luck charm, it is said that those that receive this award can expect love and happiness for the rest of their lives."

Shepard smiled, "Then you definitely deserved it."

She looked deep into his eyes. "At least it's not a pun out of my name," she said, failing to keep it at a serious tone. They both ended up stopping and laughing their heads off. "I still can't believe they called it the, 'Shepard's Crook,'" Shepard managed to say. After their bout of laughter, Shepard felt something was off. He had to stop himself from laughing again when he realized what it was, "Kasumi, what are you doing?" The smaller woman uncloaked in front of them, "How do you do it?!" She demanded.

"Kas," Tali groaned. But the Master Thief wasn't giving up. "Come on! I have to know! I might need this information someday!"

"When you need to pick pocket a cyborg with hyper senses?" Shepard asked.

"I don't know...maybe."

"Well there's your answer."

"What?"

"Hyper senses, I just get a gut feeling."

Kasumi glared, "You aren't fooling me that easy, Shep. Seriously what is it, did Cerberus implant you with some really advanced tech? Motion trackers? Extreme Heat or X-ray vision? Come on what is it?!"

Shepard shook his head. Tali cuddled up next to him and glared at Kasumi, "Why don't you go and join the others up ahead?" Kasumi in turn glared at Shepard, "You're lucky that you two are too darn cute together, or else I would have punched you both halfway across the planet!" The smaller woman then cloaked again and her anger was sensed all the way back up towards the crew. "I love Kasumi to death, but sometimes she needs to calm down," Tali said after she was confident that she was gone. Shepard shrugged, "I don't mind, I actually find it quite humorous." Tali gave an unemotional grunt as they continued walking. "How do you do it anyway? Figure out where she is?"

"I don't actually _know_ where she is. It's like I said, I get gut feelings whenever she's around. After you been fighting different people for several years straight, you kind of develop a sixth sense for whenever something is out of the ordinary."

Tali giggled, "I guess you could say that makes _sense."_

Shepard abruptly stopped and stared at her.

"Did...did you just..?"

* * *

Tali sat down at a table next to Garrus and Wrex at a table with a nonalcoholic dextro drink in her hand. Garrus managed to snag some off of some of his, "Turian fans," as he called them. Over their heads was a large emergency bio-sphere tent that could house the whole crew and more. It was attached to the side of the Normandy and stretched over the field that was beginning to become green again, the bio-sphere would probably make it even grow faster. They only used to tent to protect themselves in case of rain, but it also gave a sense of privacy for the crew as they partied. Many emergency lights lit up around the tent and there was even a few multi-colored strobe lights that came from who knows where.

Energetic music played and EDI was playing DJ for the night, using for some of her robotic vocals to enhance some of the music. Joker actually started calling her, "Dee-Jee EDI," in his half drunken state.

"We managed to pull this off pretty decently," Garrus said over the noise. "I'm surprised, too," Tali replied, "Seems luck hasn't completely ran out."

"So what's with this Shepard retiring?" Wrex questioned. Tali took a straw and dropped it into her drink, she actually found that she preferred the term over Emergency Induction Port. Now it just seemed overly technical. "Oh that? Decided he was done fighting, he wants to come live on Rannoch with me." Garrus made his best impression of raising an eyebrow, "I didn't think that would be for awhile. Can't say I blame him though, the guy literally died from it. Does that mean you're retiring, too?" Tali nearly choked on her drink, "So soon? Keelah, no! I'll still be doing Admiral duties, but maybe less of the getting shot at part."

"Yeah, it's difficult not to imagine Shepard without guns firing at him, speaking of which, where is the guy?"

"He's just getting a soda, he'll be here any second." Right after she said that, the Ancestors seemed to sing when she heard his voice, "Hey guys, what did I miss?"

"Speak of the devil," Garrus said, "We were just talking about your retirement plans."

Shepard picked up his own straw and dropped it into his can of soda. "Oh you have, have you? You guys mad that I'm leaving you?" Garrus snorted, "Just surprised. I'm going to miss you, Shepard. But I'll be honest, I couldn't be happier for you." Shepard nodded his gratitude and took a sip of his soda.

Tali's heart skipped a beat when he choked, grabbed at his chest, and fell on the table. _What the?!_ "John!" She leaped out of her seat to his, rolling him over onto his side, Garrus and Wrex close to her. "John, are you okay? What happened? Oh please, speak to me!" Shepard began coughing as he lifted his finger signaling, "One moment," as he reached into one of his pouches and pulled out a white tube. He hastily shoved it into his mask and began inhaling its contents. His coughing slowed and his breathing returned to normal.

"What the hell happened, Shepard?" Wrex almost roared. Shepard replied with his fist smashed onto the table, "Dammit! I forgot this was levo! I can't even drink soda anymore!" Both Wrex and Garrus looked at him confusedly, "What do you mean you can't drink soda? Levo?" Garrus asked as he glanced to Tali. She rolled her eyes and told them about his DNA change, "Whatever the Crucible did really screwed up his genetics, it started twisting some of it towards dextro."

"That damned reaper child!" Shepard groaned.

Tali rubbed his suit, trying to comfort him. "Do you want to see if you can try my drink? I don't know if you can, but it's worth a shot."

Shepard gave a sarcastic laugh, "I hate you."

"For whatever for?"

"That pun."

Tali took a moment to realize what she said, "That was not intended." Tali gave her drink to Shepard. "Come on, give it a try." Shepard raised his head and pulled the white machine from his back and set it on the table. Wrex and Garrus just returned to their seats and noticed it, "What's that?" Wrex asked. "A monitor, it tells me if my vitals are going screwy or if my genetics are changing more," Shepard answered.

"It also happens to be a food tester," he added as he poured a few drops of Tali's drink into a little compartment of the machine and hit a button above it. The machine began to whir and some beeping ensued as it matched data. "Well, this is going to take a couple minutes. So what are your guy's plans after the relays are fixed?" Wrex leaned back in his seat and lifted his arms behind his head, "Other than almost having my friend die in front of me, I think I'll go back to the Urdnot lands and live it up, I got a lot to do."

The other three shuddered as they thought of what he might have meant. "I got kids to look after. Eve can't handle them by herself." They allowed themselves a half sense of relief. Tali changed gears and looked towards Garrus, "What about you? Do you have any plans? Any girls in your life?" she teased. Garrus half laughed, "Maybe, I'm not so sure whenever I'll settle down though, these adventures are too fun if you ask me."

"Ooh, speaking of which, I need to talk to you about something after the party, Garrus, it's really important," Shepard said, snapping his fingers once. Garrus gave another mock eyebrow raise, "Okay, alright." Several minutes later and the machine beeped with a green light. "Well I guess it's safe to drink, thanks Doctor Chakwas," Shepard said as he put his straw into Tali's bottle. They both leaned in to share the drink and accidentally bumped their masks together in a quarian kiss. Tali giggled and saw the light in Shepard's nonluminescent eyes. Both Garrus and Wrex groaned.

They spent a few hours of the party just, talking. Reliving memories, good and bad, and doing it together. She loved this. Nothing could ever compare to this.

Tali noticed the music had been easing down its energy towards the end of the party, it was less techno and more strings and...whistle? She looked over to see Ken with a large wooden mug in his hand. She was surprised when he saw him jump onto the table in a half drunken haze. She couldn't believe her ears when she heard him starting to sing. She grabbed Garrus's, Wrex's, and Shepard's attention and urged them to listen as everyone quieted down and turned to see and hear his performance.

 _"O the summer time has come  
And the trees are sweetly bloomin'  
And the wild mountain thyme  
Grows around the bloomin' heather  
Will ye go, lassie, go?"_

Tali could hardly believe he could sing so well, nobody seemed to disagree because they were listening with just as much attention as the chorus began.

 _"And we'll all go together  
_ _To pull wild mountain thyme  
All around the bloomin' heather  
Will ye go, lassie, go?"_

Tali noticed Gabby sitting on the table next to his legs, looking lovingly up at him as he started his next verse.

 _"I will build my love a bower  
_ _By yon cool crystal fountain  
_ _And round it I will pile  
_ _All the wild flowers o' the mountain  
Will ye go, lassie go?"  
_

"Wow," was all Shepard could say. Nonetheless, Tali punched him on the shoulder before the chorus went on again. This time with Gabby singing.

 _"And we'll all go together  
To pull wild mountain thyme  
All around the bloomin' heather  
Will ye go, lassie, go?"  
_

"Damn," was all Garrus could say. Nonetheless, Tali glared at him before Ken's next verse began.

 _"I will range through the wilds  
And the deep glen sae dreamy  
And return wi' their spoils  
Tae the bower o' my dearie  
Will ye go, lassie, go?"_

At this point, everybody knew the chorus, so they all sang along with Ken and Gabby.

 _"And we'll all go together  
_ _To pull wild mountain thyme  
_ _All around the bloomin' heather  
_ _Will ye go, lassie, go?"_

Of course nobody knew the verses, so Ken only sang those.

 _"If my true love she'll not come  
_ _Then I'll surely find another  
_ _To pull wild mountain thyme  
_ _All around the bloomin' heather  
_ _Will ye go, lassie, go?"_

The crew gave the chorus its most energy.

 _"And we'll all go together  
_ _To pull wild mountain thyme  
_ _All around the bloomin' heather  
Will ye go, lassie, go?!"_

Ken quickly followed it up with one last chorus by himself.

 _"And we'll all go together  
_ _To pull wild mountain thyme  
_ _All around the bloomin' heather  
Will ye go, lassie, go?"_

The crew cheered and Tali saw something she'd never quite believe. Ken ducked down and pecked Gabby on the lips. They both got off the table and EDI took the mic, "Thank you all for coming tonight, and just for being part of the Normandy crew. It's been a good ride." The crew began packing up for the night, it was already very late. "Hey, um, Garrus, can I talk to you, now?" Shepard said a little urgently. Garrus looked at him with questioning in his eyes, "Yeah, sure, where are we going?"

"Just outside." Tali's kept her mask straight on the chair she was folding up and the empty bottle in her hand, but her eyes followed her lover and friend towards the doorway of the tent, still in view. She watched as they began talking, Shepard mostly with his hands. A few moments passed and Shepard must've said something that made Garrus...shocked? Because the turian threw a glance her way, which Shepard hastily pulled back his attention.

 _What are those boys talking about?_

Tali shrugged, there was no way she'll be able to grab something between those two. She'll find out in due time, instead, she threw away her bottle in a trash bag and prepared to go back to the hospital with her human bondmate.

* * *

 **Authors Note: Ken's song is called, "Wild Mountain Thyme," (Aka: Will Ye Go, Lassie, Go?) Which is a Scottish folk song, so of course, I DID NOT write the song.**


	12. Chapter 12: Will You?

**THREE MONTHS LATER**

Tali looked over the chart in her hand. It was the latest test results of Shepard's genetics. So far the only systems in his body that seemed to be turning dextro was his digestive, circulatory, respiratory, and his...endocrine systems? His nervous system also seems affected, but only the peripheral nervous system. It somehow translates to dextro? _Is that even possible?_

The rest of his body that still appeared more levo based was his integumentary, immune, skeletal, and muscular system. Because of this, latest advancements in Shepard's food required him to eat levo nutrients, that targeted those systems, masked by dextro food. It was more of an experiment really, it was unknown whether his blood would accept it or it would be flushed out as waste. If it failed, they would have to find other ways for those systems to accept nutrients.

Tali thought it must be exhausting for Shepard to keep changing his diet in correlation with his changing body. It couldn't be a fun ride, especially with just how Shepard is emotionally. _How would I feel of I woke up and found out that I'm not even like my own species, anymore?_

However, if Shepard seemed weighed down at all by the thought, he didn't seem to show it. He kept a warm tone and his eyes seem bright. She kept trying to read his body language, and so far she only gotten a few hints at the possibility of sadness or frustration. Other than that, he just seemed giddy with excitement, almost too much for her liking. _There's no way he is just more excited to see Rannoch than me._ Her bondmate was turning more quarian with each passing day. He even began developing an accent and using quarian phrases, Tali was unsure if he was faking or not. _Maybe he's worried that he won't fit in?_

Her lover was becoming a puzzle, and she didn't like it. With everything going on, she couldn't help but be worried sick about him. She kept on wondering if anything was wrong. _Am I just overreacting?_ The thoughts swirled until her stomach couldn't handle it. She shook her head and had newfound resolve. _I'll just ask him! If I ever need something, I can always reach for him. I'm sure he'll understand, he always does._ Happy with her solution, she looked over the chart again.

This produced another unsettling thought. _There's absolutely no way that this is not painful._ His body not only has to adapt to the outside world, but it also had to adapt to _itself._ Tali imagined what it could possibly feel like, the closest she could imagine was getting her body wringed out. The fact that Shepard might be feeling this worried her more. She _must_ talk to him.

She heard a knock at the door. To her surprise, it was Doctor Chakwas that appeared. "There you are, I thought that I would find you here." Tali set down the chart on her chair, "No place I would rather be. What do you need to talk about?"

The older woman popped a knee and leaned on the doorway, unusual for someone with her personality. Yet there seemed to be comfort in the Doctor's relaxing stance. "Everything seems to be going as normal concerning Shepard." Tali nodded, thankful. "However, we can't leave him alone just yet," she added.

"We know that Shepard plans on leaving Earth with you now that the Relays are fully repaired."

"Doesn't everyone," Tali breathed. The information regarding Shepard's departure somehow leaked to the public a week ago, and they have been keeping Shepard undercover from them as a result. Few people from other ends of the galaxy that managed to repair their Relays before them heard about it, too. Now the whole galaxy will know and the flames of fame are going erupt again. _Just when it was dying, too. Keelah, the universe is going to blow up when they see his suit._

"Yes, well. We devised a plan to send me with you to monitor his condition. If he seems to check out well over time, then I will return to my other duties. That way he can enjoy himself without dying," Chakwas continued.

"Oh, Doctor Chakwas, we really appreciate you wanting to help. But you really don't have to. We know you are very busy and wouldn't want to distract you. Why not send Doctor Philanskis?"

Chakwas laughed, "Tali, dear. Doctor Philanskis is brilliant, no doubt. But this is way above what he is trained for. He can read charts and understand the situation, but he doesn't really know how to approach it if it all goes wrong. He doesn't know how to take the next step. Ever since we returned, I ended up becoming the backbone of all this. It makes sense for me to go with you."

"Well, Doctor, it would be lovely to have you along."

"Thank you. I believe this would also be a great opportunity to study quarians, it wasn't easy healing you after the war."

Tali nodded. The doctor did so much behind the scenes, and there was no way she couldn't hold back her gratitude for everything she did, nor did she want to. "Thank you Doctor Chakwas, really, I owe you more than I could repay." The older woman just chuckled in response, "Just promise me you two will find happiness, it would be nice to see something pure in this galaxy again. Speaking of which, I also believe Shepard is waiting for you at the front desk, best not to keep him waiting."

Tali nodded and hurried out the door and down the elevator. When she arrived to the front desk, she saw Shepard hoisting the small white machine to his back and hooking it up. He sighed but quickly changed to a happy mood once he saw her. Tali cocked her head in question. _No better time._

"Are you alright?" She asked. Shepard's smile faded and he shook his head in annoyance, "I thought I would be able to avoid everyone forever, but now everyone wants me to do some sort of press conference on the Citadel. Seriously, don't they have anything better to do?"

"It's not easy having celebrity status, huh?"

"Keelah, I never wanted it," he shrugged.

Tali noticed the phrase and paused, trying to figure out how to address it. _How do I make this not sound insulting?_

"Why do you keep saying that?" _Wow, smooth Tali. You might as well call him a quarian knock-off. "I find your cosplay lacking, but thanks for being a fan." Ugh, Tali, you idiot._

Shepard paused, gathering his thoughts. "I don't know. I think the quarian-ness is rubbing off on me. Hell, I might as well be one," Shepard said as he looked at his gloved fingers. Tali curled the corner of her mouth in a shrug and closed the gap between them, holding his helmet in her own gloved hands. "Not that I don't appreciate you trying to be like us. But you are first and foremost, a human. I fell in love with a human. Please, stay the way you are." Shepard looked down at her and gave a deep sigh, followed by a chuckle. "No promises physical-wise, but don't you worry, I'll always be John Shepard."

Tali noticed his accent was gone with his last sentence. His original voice felt clear and refreshing as cool water to her ears. Most of her questions answered, she decided to ask him one more. "I'm sorry you have to go through all this. It breaks my heart to see you always pent up in this hospital. But I must ask, how does it feel? To have your body changing every moment?"

Shepard's speaker light shut off as he opened his mouth but before he could speak, Tali shook her finger at him and the light of her eyes bore into his. "And don't you dare lie to me!" Shepard paused a few moments and let out another sigh and his shoulders sagged, "Then I won't. I'll admit, it's not exactly painful, but it's not comfortable either. The more I change, the more I tense up in some places. I just hope it doesn't feel like that forever when it's done going through its phases." Tali rested her head under his chin in sorrow, mentally trying her hardest to see if she could take his discomfort away. _Keelah, I somewhat wish he hadn't told me._ Shepard stroked her back in return, "But hey! Let's not worry about that. Today is going to be a special day full of surprises."

Tali broke their embrace, "Okay, what kind of surprises? Do you have any more beautiful parks to walk through?"

Shepard scratched the back of his neck awkwardly, "Uh, something like that. But it wouldn't be much of a surprise if I told you." She raised an eyebrow. _He's clearly unsure of something, doesn't he know I don't care what we do as long as I'm with him?_ "Whatever it is, I'm sure it'll be fantastic and that I'll love it," she reassured as she skillfully intertwined her few fingers with his many. Shepard still seem awkward, "N-now why would I make a s-surprise that y-you didn't like?" She rolled her eyes and made a mental note to be happy no matter what he was unsure of.

"I don't know, I do know that you never will, and that question will remain unanswered for the rest of our lives." Shepard's confidence reformed a little, and light returned to his eyes. A single moment later and they heard a foreign sigh coming from the front desk. They turned their heads to the sound and saw the woman there propping her chin up with both of her hands adoring the scene in front of her. When she realized that they were both staring at her, she flicked one hand towards them, "No, please! Keep going!"

Both Tali and Shepard laughed and walked out the front door. "I think we're too cute for own good," Tali said when they were out of ear-shot. "Look who's talking, I'm pretty sure you're the one that turns heads."

"Me? Come on, you're the great Captain Shepard, you turned the whole galaxy's head."

Shepard shrugged, "I may be great, but you are, too. Plus, you have many other things like beauty and adorableness. I could never have that."

Tali shied away from his praise. In doing so, something hit her. Her wildest dream came _true._ Her bondmate was the great Captain _Shepard._ Never did she expect this to truly happen over three years ago. She remembered when all she wanted to do was to impress her Commander, dreaming of the near impossibility of catching his interest. Then he returned from the dead to save her from both death and exile. Then he finally _did_ show interest, and through their relationship, he turned her from a giddy girl with a crush into a confident woman capable of responsibility. They helped each other mature in different ways, and she wouldn't change it for anything.

It hit her that her impossible dream became a reality, and a few tears of happiness escaped her, flowing down her cheeks.

"Tali?"

"You know what? We do make a great couple," Tali said, forever burning the fears of their relationship to the ground.

"I wouldn't have it any other way," Shepard said with an unseen smile, and with that, her heart melted and her eyes watered freely.

"Come on, I have surprises waiting for you, and I intend to hit every single one of them before we go to the Citadel tomorrow." Shepard said as he took her hand into his and urged her away. _Then we go home, our home._ She inhaled sharply to cease further tears and had the biggest smile on her face as she went on to face the day with her bondmate. "So where are we heading?" Tali asked. Before she received her answer, she took in the sight of the autumn scenery. It was just as Shepard described it. Warm colors and leaves falling from the trees, and the sky seemed to have a much more golden glow to it. She took another sharp intake of breath as they walked across the field.

"I decided to invite Garrus and Kasumi along, Wrex and your Auntie will be along as well, but not until later in the day." A day with her lover and her friends? It just keeps getting better and better! She had a little more kick of excitement to her step as they headed towards the Normandy. As it gradually came into view, they saw Joker sitting on a lawn chair with a familiar robot massaging his shoulders. For once, he didn't have a cap on and instead had a pair of sunglasses and a warm jacket. Once he saw them, he raised his hand and waved. He didn't speak until they got closer.

"Hey there, lovebirds! Beautiful day today isn't it?"

"Hey Joker, hey EDI. Enjoying yourselves?" Shepard asked.

EDI has finally gotten a new body, and it was very similar to her old one. Tali had to stop herself from laughing when she noticed that she also wore a jacket and some long pants. EDI continued massaging as she spoke. "I am. However, Jeff here has been struggling with inaction. He's been getting more and more tense when the day of departure gets closer and closer."

"Hey, I can't help it! The Normandy hasn't flown in over three months, Shepard. That's torture for a pilot when he belongs among the stars."

"Yeah, well, you won't have to wait much longer," Shepard said as he eyed EDI's getup. "Yeah, I've been dying to see the progress of the Citadel. Speaking of which, how long is your little, 'press conference,' going to be?"

"Not long, although I have to ask, what is with EDI wearing clothes?"

"Jeff insisted that I should wear warm clothes as the cooler season approached. Even though I have both heating and cooling systems in this body."

Joker leaned down next to him a pulled up a glass of orange juice with a straw in it, "Hey, I'm not taking any chances! You can never know when a malfunction might happen."

"Jeff, with this new body and its cutting edge technology, the chances of a spontaneous malfunction occurring is a mere two-point-zero-one-seven percent. I highly doubt anything wrong will happen." Joker took a sip of his juice, "That's still a chance that I'm not taking, keep wearing your clothes." EDI rolled her eyes, "Alright, but soon you humans will be begging on your knees for warmth if things like this keep going."

All three of them looked at her, slightly horrified. "That is a joke."

"Anyways," Shepard drew out, "Do you know where we can find Garrus and Kasumi?" Joker set down his drink and stuck his thumb to the ship, "Kasumi has been trying to get Bug Brain out of bed for the past half hour, she really doesn't want to miss out on any of the... _action."_ Shepard let out a small growl, "Joker, if you reveal anything, you will have more than your bones to worry about."

"Easy Cap'n, I would never do anything like that to you. Ah, perfect timing! Here comes Thief Lady and Bug Brain themselves now!" They both looked up to see Kasumi and Garrus in a slightly more relaxed attire coming down the ladder of the ship. Kasumi still wore her hood, but it was in a rich red color to match the season, and Garrus had lighter armor on rather than his normal bulky one. When Kasumi laid eyes on the lovers, she squealed in delight. "I'm so excited!" She launched down to Tali and gave her a large hug, "Today is a very special day for you, we have so many surprises! Some better than others!"

"Easy Kasumi," Shepard warned. "Of course, of course! Wouldn't want to spoil all the fun now, would we? I just can't wait, though!" Kasumi pivoted her head towards a groggy Garrus who was now only halfway down the steps, "Come on! We have no time to waste!" Garrus simply rose a protesting hand. "I'm coming, I'm coming," he said as his feet touched the healing ground, "Have you talked to Wrex and Admiral Raan, yet?" He added with a yawn.

"They won't arrive until the _grand_ surprise," Shepard replied, to which an excited Kasumi gave another squeal. "You guys better go before little Kasumi here blows her hood," Joker said over another sip of orange juice. Tali shook her head in amusement. _I might too if these talks of surprises continue._ "See you guys, EDI, keep an eye on him," Shepard said. "Always have been, Shepard. Please, enjoy yourselves."

So the four friends walked off, passing Liara pestering Javik on the way, who was actually outside for once. "Liara, the answer, ninety percent of the time, is, 'the same as you.' We weren't mystical, 'others.'" Liara looked up from her datapad at the Prothean, "But what about all that stuff about us being, 'primitives?'"

"That is the other ten percent."

Tali stifled a laugh as they continued into the city where everyone was. Now that the Mass Relays were fixed, many species have came to maximize rebuilding efforts nearly tenfold, for both Earth and the Citadel. Even shops were starting to reopen and people were getting a taste for human culture. Garrus seemed to read her mind because he spoke about something similar. "It's hard to believe that not long ago, you humans originated from this _one_ singular planet, and even so, you guys are so different from each other, having many cultures, customs, and accents. You keep surprising me."

"Yeah, well, we humans tend to be unpredictable," Kasumi replied, "Like my people used to be at war with Shepard's in World War Two, but we ended up becoming best of friends culture-wise a little over a generation later. Although in fairly odd ways."

"World War Two? That sounds frightening!" Tali exclaimed. "I should read up on human history," Tali added as she pulled up her omni-tool, to which Shepard promptly lowered her arm. Confused, she looked up at him. "Where we're going, you won't need that." They walked around a corner and saw a pair of doors with little room behind it, more of a hole-in-the-wall. "I know you like to write, so I'm going to introduce you to a human bookstore."

They walked through the doors and, despite its small space, saw rows and rows of books made with paper and ink. _Wow, it's incredible!_ A ring of a bell was sounded and a small man popped from behind a dark, glossy, wooden counter. "Ah! How are you-" The man paused when he realized just who were the people standing in his establishment. "Captain Shepard? _The_ Captain Shepard? What brings the Savior of the Galaxy to my small shop?"

Shepard chuckled, "My girlfriend would like to see if she could find any books to read? Perhaps any on human history?"

The small man was very jittery but somehow managed to keep talking without stuttering, "Yes! I have all kinds of books! There are some over there if you're interested," he said as he pointed to a corner, "I'm a huge fan of you, by the way. You know, it's nice to see that some people haven't given up on the old ways, especially a war hero. Nothing beats an actual book in hand."

"I can stand behind that," Kasumi said. "What brings you to open up a bookshop here of all places?"

"Ah, well, I was having it rough on another colony. Once I heard about what happened, I figured that there would be plenty of visitors in the near future, so I figured that I should pack up and move here. It's also nice to see where humans originated from." Tali smiled as she walked over to the history section, picking up a rather large book, "Nothing beats a homeworld," she whispered.

Kasumi was browsing near her and she cried out in excitement when she found a book in a rich red color with golden symbols on front. "I couldn't find this one anywhere! How did you manage to get this?" The man walked up next to her and looked at what she was holding, "You have a good eye. I managed to peel this one off of another book collector. Crazy man, he was."

"Hey Tali, I found some stories over here if you want," Shepard said from the opposite end of the store. Tali picked up a few textbooks and walked over to him. "Fictional stories, as I recall, you like it when the imagination is used. So if you want any relaxing reading after some hard nonfiction, here is the way to go." She picked up a few colorful covers and inspected those she might be interested in. Satisfied, she looked up at him, arms full of books, "Is this too much?" Shepard chuckled, "I would've thought that it's not enough. Are you sure that is all you want?" Tali raised an eyebrow at him, "I can't possibly carry anymore. I think this is good enough."

"Alright. Kasumi, do you have all the books you want?" The hooded woman picked up her share and walked towards the counter, "You don't have to pay for me Shep." He laughed and replied, "We wouldn't want to break your streak of not buying anything. Besides, it's a special day today, I'm buying everything." Kasumi reluctantly agreed and saw Garrus messing with a small book. "I still don't get why you would want this. It's all flimsy and fragile, and it smells funny."

"It smells _great_ , you mean," Kasumi retorted. Tali laid out her own books down on the counter, in which Kasumi whispered to her, "Which is something you will definitely enjoy when you start living outside of your suit. The smell is close to being the best part." _I'm looking forward to it._

Shepard paid for the books and the man's eyes widened and mouth dropped as he looked at the payment. Shepard gave a small chuckle, "Oops! Nevermind, keep the change, and I wish you good fortune." Shepard quickly scooped the books into a large bag and threw it over his shoulder. The small man said nothing as the four friends hurriedly walked out of the store.

"What did you do?" Tali asked. "I gave him a little extra, book selling isn't easy when we have datapads and omni-tools."

"Well, Shep, it looks like you gave him a little more than just, 'extra.' It says it all over his face," Kasumi said as she did a little skip. "So where are we going now?" Shepard shrugged, "We're actually going to your idea next." Kasumi clapped her hands once, "You mean they actually reopened a clothing store?"

"Clothing store?" Tali asked. "Well yes! You don't expect to live in a suit your whole life now that you got Rannoch back, do you?" Tali thought for a moment, she never really thought about it. She talked about it with Shepard once, but she was talking about quarian children, and not herself. She spent so long inside her suit and only got out of it a few times with Shepard, she'd never expect to be out of it for long periods of time, especially on a daily basis. _Things are changing so fast._ "No, I guess not."

"Then let's go!" Shepard laughed and stopped the excited Master Thief, "It's further into the city, let's rent a skycar first."

A little over an hour later, Shepard had rented a really nice skycar and had made their way to not just a clothing store, but a mall. It took so long to get there due to the repair work and traffic, and also from trying to avoid public eyes. Most of the stores in the mall were closed down, for obvious reasons, but nonetheless, a fancy clothing shop was open. The story behind it was very similar to the bookstore's. It also was setting up for visitors that the city was for sure going to have once it was fully repaired, it even had a few customers already shopping inside, mainly asari.

Tali noticed that the store was not really for men, so she glanced to him with a question, in which he read her mind. "I figured this could be a more girl thing, you and Kasumi go have fun while I and Garrus wait out here."

"Are you sure?"

"Positive, go buy whatever you want, Kasumi has my credit chit."

She left him and Garrus to talk and followed her friend into the store. She noticed that most of the clothing in there seemed...immodest. There were mannequins displaying some of the clothes and Tali didn't feel exactly comfortable. _Can anyone blame me? I haven't exactly done this before._ Sure, she dreamed of wearing something other than her suit, but this seemed like a big step in an awkward direction. Kasumi, however, seemed totally comfortable with everything, and was even going through different things that might look nice on Tali.

Tali noticed a section of the store that seemed a little out of place. It was for darker colors and as she neared it, it came clear to her that the clothing was all N7 styled. There were still women's clothes, but because of the N7 logos, she was naturally attracted to it. Kasumi followed up behind her with different things already picked out, but before she said anything, her hand darted to a pair of N7 underwear and held it up.

Tali looked to the small thing and back to Kasumi, and back to the thing. "No."

"Yes."

"No."

"Yes."

"Kasumi!"

"You are getting it and that's final."

"Can't I just get normal clothes like a regular person?"

"Why would you want that? Besides, I'm sure Shep would love this," Kasumi teased as she innocently raised the underwear.

"Kasumi!"

"What? I'm having fun!"

"By your very strange standards," Tali groaned.

"Funny, I recall Shep saying the same thing."

"Can't we just hurry up and get out of here? I don't want to be seen buying this stuff," Tali motioned to the clothes held in the Master Thief's arms. "You need to grow up girl! Let loose a little," Kasumi replied as she dragged her off to other sections of the store.

A half hour and a mountain of all kinds of clothes, shoes, and some jewelry later, they went to the counter to buy the clothes from a beautiful human woman around their age. "Hey girls! I know there are plenty of quarians around, but I never thought I'd see one show up here! Might I ask the reason for this extensive purchase?" Tali noticed her tone was more curious than venomous, and Kasumi replied with a little wink as she paid for the clothes. "Well, since her boyfriend saved both her homeworld _and_ the galaxy, we figured that it was time to get her a wardrobe."

"I thought Captain Shepard saved the galaxy?"

"That's the one!"

The woman narrowed her eyes in suspicion. To which Kasumi followed up her claim with evidence, "He's even outside right now! Look!" The woman followed Kasumi's line of sight to the outside window where Shepard looked to be waiting impatiently. Her eyes widened in disbelief and she looked to the girls in front of her. "I can't believe it, I have to see this for myself! Is it okay if I go see him?"

The fact that the woman asked that question told Tali that she was already half convinced. She didn't find any unkindness in her, so she nodded her head in response. She ended up following the excited cashier outside to meet her bondmate.

Shepard seemed happy to sign an autograph for her and prove to her that Tali was, indeed, his girlfriend. Tali was surprised when the woman turned to her and asked for her autograph as well as Garrus's and Kasumi's. _I don't think anyone ever asked a quarian to sign something for them before._

The cashier looked like she was about to burst as she took a photo with the four of them, "This is definitely going on the extranet! Thank you guys, so, so much!"

They waved their goodbyes and headed out for lunch. Tali was skeptical that they would find a place that served dextro. Kasumi already managed to buy herself a meal without having to walk far. But Garrus reassured her and drove the skycar to a turian worksite. To Tali's surprise, he managed to get some food for himself, her, and Shepard from some turians. He still called them his, "fans."

After that, Garrus surprised her with a visit to all things tech and weaponry in a makeshift armory store that all the species pooled together to make. Tali practically skipped around looking at all sorts of mods and upgrades from designs of all species. _I'm going to have fun with this!_ She picked up some plans for a useful upgrade that could be used for Chatika, and another upgrade that looked like could make her shotgun overpowered. She seemed very unsure about the costs though. She hummed thoughtfully when Shepard came up behind her, "Go ahead, get all that you want."

"John, are you sure? How can we afford all this?"

Shepard's eyes smiled, "Well, at first I was getting donations to help pay for my condition. After the Mass Relays were fixed, however, the whole galaxy jumped on. Since I pretty much was the only patient in the hospital left, it was enough to pay all my doctors and my treatments. Let's just say there was also a little extra credits left. Those extra credits are all going to you for today."

"But John-"

"I already set enough aside for our house and vacation. The rest are going to the crew or getting donated to those in need."

"But John, don't you think it's a little much?"

He looked lovingly into her eyes and answered her slowly. "Tal, I know it's difficult for you to think about yourself. You're not selfish one bit. But for now, I want you to be selfish all you want, if only just for today."

Not wanting to break the affection he was showing, Tali agreed. "Fine, but _only_ just for today!"

They spent several hours in the makeshift armory, looking at anything and everything they could get their hands on. All four of them were like kids in a candy store. Garrus bought himself some items for his sniper rifle, Kasumi got some extra gadgets for her cloaking, and Tali got those upgrades for Chatika and her shotgun. Shepard, however, only bought a cheap pistol. Garrus looked at him in confusion, "Why would you want that?"

"I haven't had a weapon on me for awhile, and I think this is good enough to get me by."

By the time they left the store, the sun was already beginning to edge closer to later afternoon hours. Figuring the day was over, Tali sighed in delight. "That was so much fun! Thank you for all the surprises!" Shepard opened the skycar and urged everyone in, "We're not done, yet. We have dinner with Wrex and your Auntie." _Oh! I completely forgot about them!_

Shepard drove them down to a park, where Tali saw her Auntie Raan and Wrex holding dinner. She jumped out of the car and hugged them both. "Wrex! Auntie Raan!"

"Little Tali, seems like you had a fun day!" Wrex said as he returned her hug.

"Yes, John bought me a whole bunch of things! He's too kind."

"Well, you're very lucky to have him," Rann said as she received her hug.

Shepard, Garrus, and Kasumi followed behind her and greeted their friends. "Hello again, Shepard. You seem to be getting better each day," Raan greeted, balancing some food tubes in the bend of her elbow. "Yes, Admiral. No better day to get better on," Shepard replied as he relieved her of some of them. Tali noticed her Auntie replying with a peculiar look. "Come on, let's eat."

They sat and ate and talked for awhile, with topics changing from old adventures, the Citadel, and returning home. The sun began to rest over the city skyline and Tali noticed the group became more excited. _Is there another surprise?_ Shepard spoke after their meal was finished, "We're not done quite yet, come on." Kasumi gave an excited squeak as they all picked up their trash and threw it in a nearby dumpster filled with old debris. They all walked towards a large river, Thames it was called.

Shepard poked Tali on the shoulder and guided her eyes, "Look." She looked and saw a large repaired wheel with little rooms attached to it. "That's called the London Eye. We're going to it." Again Tali noticed her friends faces were becoming more happy that she could of sworn their smiles might fly off. Tali was excited, too. But she couldn't figure how it could be _that_ exciting. The wheel grew bigger as they walked closer towards it, and several people were seen managing it. She could see that there were no visitors to ride the wheel, most likely because they were working on reconstruction. It felt like that they were the only people in the city having fun.

When the edged closer, one man looked up and saw the group. "Ah, hello there. Good to meet you Captain Shepard."

"Good to meet you, too."

"We had a lot of help since you requested for the fix, so we managed to get it up and running before now. I'm glad you did, I think people could use a little joy in their lives after what happened. But now I must ask..." The worker leaned in and whispered quietly into Shepard's audio receiver. Shepard's eyes smiled as he looked to Tali, "Her." The worker gave her a surprised look and replied to Shepard, "I can't wait to see what the news is going to be like." Shepard only laughed. _What is going on?_

"Well hop on in, the sun is going to set soon." Tali thought she found out what the grand surprise was. She _loves_ to see the sun set over a planet, she rarely sees them if any at all because of the time she spent in space, and if she did, she never got to enjoy it because she was doing something important. _Even now I never really enjoy them because I sit in the hospital every day. The only time I actually sat and watched one was with John on Rannoch._

She eagerly hopped on and Shepard followed her. She turned her head to her friends and urged them on. "Come on!" However, her friends stayed put and Kasumi answered for them, "I think we'll catch the next one, you two go ahead."

 _Alone with my bondmate._

The hatch closed and the two lovers were raised slightly around the wheel. Their friends got on the one behind them and both compartments were slowly raised high into the sky, above the buildings of the city that glowed orange in the sun's light. Tali saw a large castle-like building across the river and a clocktower being repaired. Once the compartment was in the highest position of the wheel, it stopped.

Tali's breath was taken away as she took in the full sight. The sun sat just upon the horizon, and despite all the repair work that could be seen going on in the city, it was still beautiful. She sat down on the compartment's floor and Shepard followed. "It's really pretty," she said.

"You like it?"

"I love it."

They sat there in silence as the sun continued sinking. "I never expected to ever do this, watch the human star set over a human city with my human boyfriend."

Shepard gave a small chuckle, "I never expected to watch the sun set over earth with my quarian girlfriend."

Tali laughed a little.

"Although I think it's time we changed that last part."

"Hm?"

Shepard reached into one of his pockets and pulled out a small little wooden box. "You know, after my mom died, the Alliance saved her wedding ring, she was planning on giving it to me for when I meet the girl of my dreams, since she had no use for it since my dad died."

 _Wait, I read about human bonding customs, is he..?!_

"Anderson gave it to me. I think he knew that I was in a relationship."

 _Is he..?!_

"Well, I had to do some reshaping on it, and I think I have use for it now because of it, and I shouldn't disappoint Anderson and my parents." Shepard opened the box to a small ring that belonged to his family. It was beautifully crafted gold with a small diamond perched on top.

Tali held her breath. _There's no way!_

Tali couldn't tell if she was hearing things once Shepard began speaking Khelish, her native tongue, flawlessly. But the words were crystal clear that could only come from practice, maybe months of practice. It was undeniable. After he finished, he returned to his own native tongue.

Her heart stopped when it hit her as his next words were spoken.

"Tali...Will you be my lifemate?"

Time slowed. She could hardly breathe. If Tali could live forever in this moment, she would. This was above her impossible dream, it was pure happiness that she could not even fathom. Her whole heart, mind, life and soul thanked the Ancestors and the Earth for bringing them two together. For bringing her a _lifemate._ Something pure did come to the galaxy once again, and it was full of love and peace.

"YES!"

Tali tackled her new lifemate to the ground and did all she could to get closer to him. Squeezing him until they both ran out of air and Tali shedding tears of joy.

"Yes! I love you so much!" She gasped.

Shepard replied with a chuckle as they cuddled there on the floor, "I love you, too."

And they laid there together until the wheel lit up with blue lights in the night sky along with the other bright lights of the city, defeating and mocking the Reapers that tried to take everything from them.

* * *

 **Authors Note: I definitely enjoyed writing this one, Tali totally deserved it and I decided to go full fluff cannon on this. It was interesting to see how the future could interact with some modern aspects of life, and I can say it was very enjoyable. Hope you enjoyed the chapter!**


	13. Chapter 13: The Citadel

_After this, it's time to go home._

Shepard half dreaded both going to the Citadel and to Rannoch. He dreaded going to the Citadel because he was going to be holding a press conference there, and he _hated_ reporters. Some were fine, with only just reporting what is seen and not what is assumed. But nowadays, every news provider wants to get in on the victory story _and_ his personal life. The latter he wished people would just keep their noses out of. _I never wanted to be famous anyway._

He dreaded going to Rannoch, however, because he wasn't sure how he, a human, would adjust into a planet of quarians. He was sure he would get used to it, but it seems kind of odd that the person who gave them their planet back suddenly wanted to live on it because he was engaged to one of their kind. But that wasn't just _it,_ either.

He wanted to seek acceptance from someone, and judging from previous words, he wasn't easily going to get it. He managed to get the acceptance of Raan, which was a large step forward. But this person held the most meaning. He just hoped his project would be successful in showing that someone how useful he was.

The project should have taken several months to complete, and being stranded on Earth ate up most of that time. Ever since the Mass Relays were repaired, he has been receiving messages from the geth who have been managing the project while on the planet. Shepard was thankful that some of them managed to lock down their memory cores before the Crucible blast, or else the project would have taken a large halt in progress. Like Tali, the quarians managed to make new software for the geth to use their minds. They also managed to repair the bodies so construction work can continue, although slowly, since most of the geth weren't so lucky to survive. For that, Shepard felt guilty. _They didn't deserve what I did to them._

The geth did manage to grow in numbers exponentially, but they have been slowing down recently in order not to outnumber the quarians.

Shepard suddenly broke from his thoughts when the Normandy stopped near the space station. "Alright Captain, we're docked in a few moments," Joker said over his cabin's intercom. "Wait, do I still call you Captain? I mean, I know you're retired. So does that mean Garrus commands the ship now?"

Shepard and Tali were sitting on the couch together enjoying the blue glow of the aquarium in his cabin. Both were reminiscing the times they spent together on the ship. "Most likely, Joker. I'm sure the Alliance will allow it." Joker loudly groaned. "'Oh hey, how do we grow closer as a galactic community? I know! Let's make turian Mr. Stick-Ass become the commander of one of our most advanced frigates!' Great idea, Alliance. Way to be a tree-hugging bunch of-"

"You know we can still hear you, right?"

"Yeah, whatever. I just hope I break something important before Garrus destroys my baby," Joker said as he shut off the intercom.

Tali, who remained silent during the brief conversation, finally spoke up. "Well that was a little harsh. I'm sure he will take good care of the Normandy." Shepard scooted Tali closer to him, the couch yawning from the friction. He began rubbing the intricate golden metal kissed with a diamond wrapped around Tali's last finger on her left hand. "I'm sure he will, and I'm sure Joker doesn't hate Garrus _that_ much. He just likes giving him a hard time."

Tali sighed in agreement and rested her head in the base of his neck, the two helmets giving a simple tap sound as they collided. "I'll be honest, I'll miss the adventures we had, except for the getting shot at parts." Shepard chuckled, "Yeah, I'll miss this place, it's been home for a long while." Tali groaned a little, "I can't say I won't be half relieved if I don't see this room ever again, I went through some tough times in here."

Shepard understood what she meant. Tali told him a little bit about her grieving in his cabin during the time they were separated and she thought him dead. Shepard gave her an extra squeeze to reassure her that he was here and alive with her, and that he was going nowhere else. Her eyes lightened up and she snuggled deeper into his suit, trying to cover every inch of herself with him, "But I'm glad to have you with me, now, and forever. For one long, last time."

"Me too," He gave a contented sigh. "Come on, we better get going."

Tali whined a little but she followed him off the couch nonetheless towards the elevator. Shepard smiled at her small act of cuteness, "Don't worry, we will back soon before you even know it."

He held her hand when they entered, and with his other poked the button to signal the elevator to go down. For once in his life, he thanked it for its slow speed. Half because he wasn't eager to get to his press conference faster, and half so he could spend more time alone with his future lifemate. Tali on the other hand didn't seem so grateful. "I swear, when we're done with all this, I will fix this elevator!"

"I don't know, I feel like it adds a little character to the ship. A single flaw in all its greatness."

Tali only responded with a grunt and a, "Maybe," followed by some mumbling about Cerberus, he chuckled as the elevator finally opened. It wasn't easy to keep his feet moving, the ship became more and more interesting the closer he moved to the door. It almost came to a point where Tali was dragging him, always keeping a foot or two in front of him as he walked slowly. After the small reversal of attitudes, they both appeared at the door, and Shepard was pleasantly surprised to see Garrus there. The turian returned to his bulky blue armor which reflected the low amount of light that his eyepiece gave off, he could also see the cool metal of the barrel of his sniper rifle hovering behind his head. _Always battle ready._

"Figured I tag along, it's fun watching people pester you until I have to swoop in with a save," his mandibles twitched into a grin. Shepard just rolled his eyes, "Thanks for your loyalty and support."

This time Garrus's grin turned wicked, worrying Shepard a little, and he dramatically raised his arm to open the door. "Loyalty and support I have, and loyalty and support I will give...But what's support without an army?" _Just what did you do?_ With that, Shepard could hardly see the door open when flashes of light began blinding his eyes and cheers exploded through his audio receivers to deafen his ears. He raised his arm to protect himself from the bombardment of distractions when he realized there was a paparazzi waiting below his feet. _How did they even know we showed up here?_ He took a sidelong glance and saw Garrus laughing. The pieces fit together like a puzzle instantly and he tried his best to yell over the noise. "Garrus, you're a dead man!"

He stayed there frozen for a moment in the midst of Garrus's laughter and the paparazzi's obnoxious cheers and flashes until he felt Tali guide him down the steps. It felt like torture. Every time he tried to blink a light out of his eyes, two or three more would take it's place. He was sure he had gone blind once his feet touch the ground of the docking area.

He hardly took notice of the crowd separating into a path that followed them as Tali guided him to his conference. He could hear questions being asked by the people in between the muffle of noise in his ears, most of them pertaining to his suit, others about the quarian leading him, and most less about his actions on Earth. He could hear Tali warning them away as she pushed through them, with a few insults thrown at Garrus in between. Somewhere in the middle of his long journey, he felt another presence that was unmistakably quarian helping him through the crowds. _Shala'Raan?_

Admiral Raan decided to wait for her niece before going to the relay that lead home, but Shepard figured that she would wait on the Tonbay until the conference was over. Either way, Shepard silently thanked her for being there to help him out.

Shepard was bombarded with more camera flashes and questions, and he was wondering when he would arrive when Tali stopped guiding him and he was pushed into something hard.

He blinked rapidly, trying to tear his sight away from the circles of light begging for attention. He squeezed his eyes shut once and blinked rapidly once more. He heard some muffled talking and his body gently lifted from the ground. His stomach lurched as he moved forward in an increased speed. He braced himself in case he vomited in his helmet, bending over his knees to keep his visor farthest away from his face. Luckily, he felt nothing pass his stomach so he raised his shoulders and opened his eyes.

It came to realization that he was in a skycar. He was behind the passenger seat which contained Admiral Raan herself looking back at him, full of concern. "Are you alright, Captain Shepard?"

"Yeah, yeah..." He let out another groan.

"Are you sure?" came the sweet voice of Tali next to him. He turned his head to see her with even greater concern in her eyes. His arm was in an awkward position and he saw that he was still holding hands with her through his little recovery.

"Yeah, just disoriented is all. How long until we get there?"

Admiral Raan changed her view to the driver and asked a similar question with more specifics. Shepard was surprised to see the driver was a geth. He was a dark purple color with electric blue markings around his armor. As he spoke, he noticed that his robotic voice had a somewhat Scandinavian accent. "We will arrive to the press conference in precisely five minutes."

"Might I ask who you are?"

"I am Dyad. It is a pleasure to meet you, Shepard-Captain."

"Good to meet you, too, Dyad."

Shepard tried to blink another circle of light away from his vision, he groaned again in irritation. "With technology advancing this far, you think that they would learn to make cameras that didn't need flashes."

"Oh they do, they just use them to grab the attention of their desired person. The flash disorients said person into confusion which is followed by a question. That person will most likely answer to try to reorient themselves. A technique used by paparazzi, and is also used in minor and rare cases of interrogation," Dyad said in rapid succession.

"Er, thanks?"

"Always at your service, Shepard-Captain."

This time Tali spoke, a hard rock for him to hold on to, "I think you should prepare yourself when we leave for the conference, we're bound to have more on our way out." Shepard groaned once again. She gave his hand a reassuring squeeze, "Hey, we'll be back soon before you even know it." He only smiled simply.

He shifted his gaze out the tinted window of the red colored skycar. His breath was nearly taken away as he saw how much the Citadel was rebuilt, granted it had over three months of work, but it was such a striking contrast from the smoke and destruction that was littered with human bodies.

Memories of smoldering ash and pain made its way into Shepard's mind, causing him to breathe faster and for a second, he could've sworn he had smelled it. His mind worked furiously as the images of corpses passed through. _It's like Akuze all over again._ A similar situation happened when he saw his whole entire squad get wiped out, and now he had the Citadel to add to his jar of painful memories. He let out a quick, depressive sigh as the echoes of screams came from the dead empty faces, begging for mercy from the monsters that killed them, and Shepard had to watch it all. It was heartbreaking and gut wrenching. _I'm not sure if I'll be able to live this one down._ He must have been thinking for awhile, because he was only pulled out when Tali snaked her arm up to his shoulder.

"Hey, what's wrong?"

"I failed so many people. It seems no matter if I'm a coward or a brave soldier, I still continue to fail. There should be more people walking these streets, and I couldn't have pushed harder to make it so. I failed so many people up here, that night."

Tali shook her head in mild annoyance, "You are not a coward, John. If you ever were, it was for a good reason. That reason was to bring you here, to us, to me. So you could save more than all those people you keep thinking could have survived. Their sacrifices weren't in vain. You did it because they were willing to die for the cause. You're right, you couldn't have pushed any harder..." she took a deep breath.

"You can save the galaxy, but that doesn't mean you can save everyone along the way."

This struck a chord with Shepard. He reflected deeply on this for a long while in silence. He wasn't so sure, there were plenty of lives that could have seen this day if he tried a little harder, if he made a different choice, if he finished a task sooner. But there was nothing he could do about it now, they were long dead and gone, and they will be honored and remembered. _Tali's right._ _She is, there's nothing left but the future._ He looked up at her once again, "You're right, I shouldn't ruin our engagement with things in the past."

"Nonsense, you couldn't possibly do anything to ruin it as long as you're here with me."

"Either way, I'm not sure if I'll ever be able to entirely get over this."

"Then you can reach for me, and I'll always be there to make you feel better. Besides, I'm pretty sure you gave many talks like this to other people, I think it's time you, what is the human phrase? 'Get a taste of your own medicine?'"

Shepard grinned, "Thank you."

"Whenever you need me," her unseen smile burning through her mask.

He became acutely aware the the skycar was stopping, and that Dyad and Raan were still in. _There's no way they didn't hear all that._ Shepard tried to scratch his neck in potential embarrassment. He was supposed to be the one taking care of Tali, not the other way around. He hoped that opening up like that didn't diminish any trust that Raan had in him. But before anything was said, the side of the car opened and sounds of cheering illuminated his ears. He had a few moments to prepare his eyes as he stepped out of the car into the barrage of flashing lights.

Tali walked around the other side and Shepard followed her off the landing pads into the building. Questions soared from left and right but Shepard kept his eyes squinted and focused forward, ignoring the loud noise that shook his helmet.

The building was more like a long corridor that was perpendicular to the landing pads, with rooms leading off in some areas on the other side. Tali grabbed his arm and lead him left down the hallway, doors to his right and large windows that showed skycars passing by to his left, with reporters in between either side. They walked for several moments until they peeled into the right towards a large glass door. "Right on time," Tali noted.

There were two soldiers guarding the entrance, and they gave a familiar friendly smile as he walked towards them, something that caught his eye. _Wait, I know those two!_ He recognized them as the first people he saw when he woke up after the reapers downfall. _Sweet Street and Redge!_

He didn't have time to stop and chat once they opened the doors. He was forced through and could only manage a small wave before they fell out of sight. Behind the doors was a small hallway that lead into a large room. The room was more or less empty in regards to decoration, only many chairs and a few tables were in place. On the far side, the whole wall was made of glass that opened up the view to a small grassy field that lay below them. In the middle center of it was a podium laden with microphones, and in front of the podium...was a whole bunch of seated reporters. _Oh, boy._

The reporters that followed them answered an unspoken order to sit among the others, and Tali guided him around the room to the podium. The flashes of light slowed down a little, where there was only one or two every five seconds. Tali leaned into his audio receiver, "Good luck," and left him there to go stand off to the side next to Raan and Garrus, who just showed up with a smile on his face.

He shifted his gaze to the reporters, who waited expectantly for him to speak. Shepard had to admit, it was starting to feel a little hot under his suit.

"Uh, thank you all for coming...But I must ask if you could lighten up on the camera flashes, it's a little disorienting." With that, some of the reporters opened their omni-tools to turn off the flash option on the cameras the hovered above their heads. _Thank you, for once._

He stood in a few moments silence gathering his thoughts. _Let's get it over with._ He leaned his head into the microphones and spoke. "So, I've come to answer any questions you might have in regards to events that transpired within the past four months. If any of you do, please raise your hand and wait patiently until I pick you. I'm sure all of you are eager and starving for unknown information, for that I will try my best to go as fast as I can. So please, go ahead."

All of their hands launched upwards immediately. Shepard expected this, but he couldn't help but feel slightly overwhelmed by all the choices. He noticed there were mainly humans and asari, with a few salarians thrown in the mix. In the back were a few turians, but they were only taking notes or recording. He scanned a room and picked a darker skinned asari. "Imellia T'lalo, can you give us a rundown of events leading up to the reapers downfall?"

"Well, it all went according to plan," Shepard lied a little, "We attacked the reapers here, docked our superweapon outside, and fired it."

"Yes, but how come the Citadel, the Mass Relays, and the communications throughout the galaxy become damaged as a result of this superweapon? Or the Crucible, as it's called?"

 _Ah, shoot._ "The Crucible used the Mass Relays to destroy the reapers around the galaxy. The power contained ended up damaging both the Citadel and the Mass Relays. I can only assume that it also disrupted communications as well. You must understand, the reapers took all our might to take down, and risks had to be taken."

"But-"

Before the asari could continue asking questions, a salarian raised his hand to which Shepard gladly acknowledged.

"Nodul Puron of the SNDN, as no doubt that your actions prove most...heroic...I must assume that not everyone was left unscathed, do you mind filling us in on why you wear a suit from the quarians?"

Shepard actually felt surprised at himself that he actually preferred the more personal questions, he thought it would have been more easy to talk about the reapers destruction. "As I said, risks had to be taken, my health was one of those risks. I won't go too much into detail, but the Crucible wasn't as much as we thought...I activated it, as a result, I alone had my immune system disrupted, and my body changed. I was willing to take that risk for the greater good."

A human hand shot up this time, "Back towards the first question, you said we docked the Crucible outside of the Citadel. Why was it that the Crucible needed the Citadel before it could fire? Could we not just have fired it and retook it? Was it possible we could have not caused damage to the Citadel and the Mass Relays?"

 _I wish._ "Like the Crucible, the Citadel was ancient technology. We found out that the Citadel was only half of the weapon needed to destroy the reapers. The key needed to save lives was beneath us this whole time." He tapped his foot. "There could have been a possibility that the Citadel and Mass Relays could have not been damaged, but we were losing time and had no other options." Shepard desperately wished that there was another option, somewhere buried in the choices he was given. But again, he had to live with it, broken immune system and all.

The conference continued for awhile. He shared views on other homeworlds, unity, the Citadel moving back to its original place, a new councilor for humanity. There was one topic dangerously close to his future plans after retiring from the Systems Alliance and never returning to Earth, but he let out a sigh of relief as he managed to steer clear of it. He was growing very uneasy and waited desperately for an end. But it didn't feel like it was just the questions that put him on edge, there was something _else._ He shook his head in irritation. _Paranoia. Again with the paranoia, it is just like Akuze all over again._

His worst fear came to light when a very personal question was asked, and it wasn't something simple to back out of. The question was asked more by a fan rather than a reporter, so professional topics seemed to have gotten thrown out of the airlock. "So, Captain Shepard. Now that you're retired, how do you plan on living life? Are you excited to relax and... _mingle?"_

Several groans and cheers could be heard from the crowd as well as some, "Keelah's," from Tali and Raan next to him, which was followed by a small laugh from Garrus. _Oh my...why._ He desperately wanted to reveal his love for his future lifemate, but it didn't feel like the time. Not when he was more popular than ever, and Tali didn't need the unwanted attention."Er, yes, I am happy to finally relax after years of f-fighting," Shepard could have stopped there, but he was slightly flustered and his mouth kept going, "I already have p-plans and I'm settling down...w-with some-" He went mute, shutting himself up, but he had a fear that he already said too much.

"So recent rumors backed by photo evidence show you and Ad-"

Another hand shot up and Shepard quickly acknowledged it rather eagerly. _Oh, boy. This is going to come back up again, I just know it. Ancestors and God, please make this end soon._ He wouldn't be able to stand it any longer, not when the hair on his neck standing on end. The questions and...something else was bothering him. He realized that his thoughts were so wrapped up that he missed most of the question that the new person asked. "-dromeda?"

"I'm sorry, I didn't quite catch that. Could you repeat the question please?"

"JOHN!"

"SHEPARD!"

His brain rattled as Tali jumped and slammed into him in front of the crowd, wrapping her arms around him, pushing him slightly off balance and squeezing him like he was a large stress ball. _Tali? What are you-?_ A large noise and a flash of light followed with glass getting punctured interrupted his thought process.

 _BANG!_

 _"Uhnng!"_

He looked over her shoulder to see everyone's heads turning fearful towards an exit door on the other end of the room, where a man in bulky silver armor emblazoned with rich red markings held an odd sniper rifle.

 _"Johhn..."_ Shepard looked to his quarian fiancée and was concerned when she spoke with pain. His eyebrows furrowed as he felt pressure pushing against his gloved hand which was placed on her side. He looked down and his heart stopped when he saw red blood gushing from a hole in her suit. " _Tali..?"_

"Everybody get down!" Yelled a random person in the crowd. Shepard quickly laid himself and Tali behind the podium for cover, and several screams erupted from the crowd as they tried to find shielding in their chairs. Shepard allowed himself to release Tali and look her over. _Oh no...no, no, no, no, no._ It was bad, not only was blood pooling from her back, but it was escaping her suit in the front where the round exited. He desperately looked for anything to stop the blood as Raan dropped down next to him. Garrus took cover behind a corner where they first entered, holding his own sniper at the ready.

Footsteps thundered and someone vaulted over the podium and dropped down next to Shepard, Raan, and Tali. It was another quarian that wore silver armor with black decorative cloth. He held up something, "Here, Tayi, I have medi-gel." _Tah-yee?_

Finally the attacker spoke. He had a cold, icy tone that sounded much younger. "Huh, might as well get the suit-rat while I'm at it," he laughed. The cold humor in the insult turned the fear in Shepard's heart to raging anger. "What the hell do you want?!" Shepard yelled. He watched the new quarian applying the medi-gel to the light in his life in worry.

"What do I want? I want you dead, Shepard! You claim to be the Savior of the Galaxy, but you only care about yourself! You only want to preserve your own miserable life!"

 _"Silont..?"_ Tali groaned. "Shh, Tayi, you will be alright," the new quarian said.

"You pissed off the new big boss organization in the galaxy Shepard, and its name is Chimera! You killed my brothers without a second's thought! So now...you die!"

Shepard had to think fast. He had to get him away from Tali and the civilians, but how? Garrus poked his head around the corner which greeted metal sparks and dust. "Gah!" He wiped the dust from his face that came from the wall where the round hit. Shepard summoned the communicator in his helmet and whispered to Garrus. "I'll try to distract him, take a shot if you can!"

"Alright!"

"What's the matter, Sheepard? Mourning the loss of your little suit-rat?"

The insult again made his stomach boil, he tried to keep a level head and think of any strategy that could help in defeating this attacker. It wasn't easy when the room barely had any cover and there were multiple civilians in between them. The attacker seemed to take advantage of this, "Come out, Sheepard. I promise your slaughter won't be painful," he sang.

"I know how much you _love_ aliens. Maybe in more than one way," he said, hinting. "Now, you would mind if, oh, I don't know, a trigger slipped with a barrel aimed at one of these... _civilians."_

Shepard didn't speak as he tried to think. "Or maybe, you don't actually care! You just wouldn't have a choice. You kept up the hero act for this long, you wouldn't want people thinking otherwise!" _What the hell is he talking about?_ "Now, how about I play a little game of Eeny, Meeny, Miny, Moe with our beloved audience? Or, I could play, 'Guess where the suit-rat's heart is behind the stand!'"

Shepard tried his best to remain calm. But he couldn't go any longer not doing anything. He didn't trust the podium to withstand sniper rounds and he wasn't taking any chances, not with Tali's life on the line. Slowly, he rose his hands above his head and walked out of the cover. "Shepard!" Garrus hissed, "What are you doing?" He didn't answer as he continued revealing himself to the attacker. "Ah, Ego over self preservation. Honestly, I don't know which one over the other is more sickening...Come here so I can put a gaping hole in your helmet!"

Shepard walked forward until the raised sniper barrel was touching his mask. The attacker hissed quietly to him, "Do you even remember them? All those people you killed? My brothers are dead now because of you! This is payback!" Shepard waited to hear a click of a trigger. Lucky for him, just like he hoped for, he didn't. The attacker turned Shepard around, and kept the sniper to the back of his head. "If any of you follow me, he's dead!"

Thinking fast, Shepard activated his omni-blade and sliced the sniper in half, taking the attacker by surprise. He swiftly turned around and punched him in the side of the helmet, where he sprawled off to the side toward the exit door. Before he could pull out his own pistol, the attacker was on him again and slapped it out of his grip. Now, it was fisticuffs. The hard years of N7 training permanently engraved into his mind kicked in, making his senses sharper and more clear.

He let him make the first move. The attacker swung his fist around in a hook punch in which Shepard took a back step to dodge. He threw another punch straight where Shepard caught it, but unfortunately shook it out of his grasp. This time, Shepard threw his own punch where the attacker ducked, followed by an uppercut that also didn't connect. They kept throwing punches with an occasional kick back and forth, all of them dodging each other.

"Shepard, I can't get a clear shot!" Garrus said. Shepard backed up slowly towards the turian, trying his best to make it easy for him. They exchanged blows continually, and Shepard could tell that it wasn't just him that was getting frustrated that they couldn't get a hit in. A memory came to him when he was training Tali once awhile back, he didn't expect one of her teachings from one of her leaders before her pilgrimage would come now.

 _"He told me to read your enemy, keep them distracted, make them wonder what you are doing, once they start doing that, hit them. But try not to waste your energy."_

Shepard danced a little, putting the idea into play. So far the attacker thought nothing of it. He dodged another blow from him yet continued dancing. He shook his arms side to side a little, throwing a little bit of his infamous, "Shepard Shuffle," in there. He waited. Waited for that magic moment, a signal of hesitation. Then he got it. The attacker made a confused gesture with his hands, right when he did it, Shepard swung and connected a blow to his chest. The attacker hissed in pain and retaliated, throwing his own punch but missed as Shepard took a sidestep. He gasped in fear when Shepard kicked him off to the side. "Garrus, now!"

"Civilians behind him!" _Oh, come on!_

The attacker growled and pulled a knife. _Well this just got interesting._ Shepard prepared himself as the attacker ran at him, he planned to sidestep but was caught off guard when he wrapped his arms around his midsection and threw him past the podium and the corner Garrus stood. Shepard felt pinned down as the attacker wrestled him with the blade that Shepard managed to hold back.

But his attacker was too clever, and he twisted his arm and tried to stab his side, which narrowly missed at sliced the cloth along his chest, "Gah! Tali made me that!"

There was a moment of pause as the attacker held him down, he laughed wickedly. _Oh no._ "My bad," the attacker said as he raised his arm with the blade. The Shepard looked in fear as the blade came down on his mask and a sickening crunch was heard.

"Shepard! No!"

Shepard opened his eyes and gasped when he saw the point of the blade was only millimeters from his left eye. The elongation of his helmet managed to stop the blade from touching him. _Holy!_ The attacker noticed this and yelled in fury as he retrieved the knife. The cool air kissed his face and he could already feel his eye puffing up from foreign material. Shepard tried to wrestle the attacker off, "Garrus, shoot him now!"

"Can't! I might hit you!" _Too_ _late!_ Shepard's relief was short-lived as he pulled a pistol, aimed near his stomach, and fired. "Shepard!"

Searing heat burned him at his core and he gasped in pain. It felt like his insides were turning inside out and wrapping themselves all over. It was only a moment before he felt another shot searing through another section of him. Shepard yelled in pain and agony, making his throat hoarse. Then the chilling words of the attacker came, "To think the Savior of the Galaxy would fall for a suit-rat. But I guess I shouldn't be surprised, you became a suit-rat yourself."

Shepard let the anger fully consume him now, and he ignored his pain as he threw the attacker off in surprise. Shepard became pure rage as he tackled him to the ground, and threw a punch to the helmet that disoriented him. Groaning in pain, he picked him up from the ground and grasped his helmet, "Call her a suit-rat, one more time!" Shepard threatened. The attacker laughed icily.

"Suit...rat!"

His rage was at his peak, and he couldn't stop himself as he slammed his head against the wall. He pulled him back, and slammed it again. And again, and again until the attacker could do nothing but await the final blow, which Shepard was about to give until a voice called him back.

"John! Stop!"

He looked back and saw Tali standing there, leaning on the new quarian's shoulder and fear in her eyes. Raan and Garrus too were astonished. "Spirits." He took a moment to realize just what he was doing. He was performing a very brutal act of killing someone in front of his closest friends. He dropped the man who dizzily dropped to the ground with barely any conscience.

He tried to stutter something out, "I-I-I-..." But the pain would not let him finish.

He clutched his stomach and collapsed, trying anything to stop the continual flow of blood loss.

"No!" Tali limped closer, but it wasn't to him. Instead Garrus, Raan and the newcomer tended to him as she continued to pass him and kick something away. A small groan came from the attacker. _Ugh, what the?_ He heard a rustle of armor as Tali picked up the woozy man. He tried to focus over the two holes in his gut and the throbbing of his eye. But the next thing sent chills down his spine, as he never in his life expected to hear Tali use the coldest venom in her voice, crisp and clear that could even send demons running.

 _"You listen to me, nice and clearly. When you wake up...I hope you have a fun time rotting in HELL!"_

He then heard a loud crack of a punch and the man fell over. Shepard felt fear that Tali might just have finished the job. The patter from her feet sounded as she rushed to his side, helping the other three pick him up from the ground and lean him against the wall. "John, no, no, no. Stay with me." Shepard finally got a good look at his wounds, and it was bad.

His vision was blurred between the clear colors and the golden tint from the hole in his helmet. But he was able to see that the blood escaped him as if a dam broke. One shot came from a hole below his rib cage on the right side, and the other looked like it came from his very center. He was surprised that he didn't feel any nausea, but he wasn't sure how long that was going to last.

"I called C-Sec, or whatever there is, and the Normandy when he first shot. Help should be here any second," Garrus said as the new quarian applied medi-gel. Shepard nodded, happy to receive the cool gel that near instantly kept his flesh together.

A patter of fearful noises peeked around the corner and there stood a few brave civilians to come check out the scene. A few red lights signaling a recording was shown on the cameras that hovered. Raan noticed this and she stood up, "All of you back up! Give us some room!" The reporters followed the instruction but tried their best to get a good look at Shepard. Few of them let out gasps of shock before they disappeared around the corner again.

"Easy Shepard, try to keep yourself awake," said the new quarian. "And you, Tayi, you better lay down, too." A few minutes passed and help did arrive, including Kaiden, Kasumi, and James.

"Loco! Sparks!"

"Shep! Tal!"

"Shepard! Tali! Are you alright?"

He could barely focus as he was laid down on a gurney next to another one with Tali on top. "Let's get them out of here!" They started to move and Shepard threw up in his throat because of it, giving a nasty tasting burn. Somehow, some tape was already over his mask and makeshift bandages over his wounds. He looked sideways towards his fiancée, where he was relieved to see her still breathing. His mind hurt as a fever started to consume his brain, but that didn't stop him from speaking. "Tali?" He croaked, "You doing good?"

"Can we just go home now?" Tali sobbed a little.

 _That's it, I'm sick of all the sidetracking, I'm done with everything! Damn everything else!_ He clenched his teeth with determination, "Yes, I promise."

With that, Shepard finally let go of his tenseness and relaxed, falling into a deep, dreamless sleep.

* * *

 **HOURS LATER**

He woke up in the Normandy's medbay. James and Kaiden took charge of where they were going and decided that there was no better place to be than where Doctor Chakwas was. His head pounded and his face felt hard underneath his skin, and his stomach wasn't doing so hot, either. He felt relieved however that his mask was replaced, and his eye was calming down on the swelling. He looked around and saw Tali staring at him with her bright eyes, laying down on the bed next to him. "You're up."

"What can I say, taking two to the gut really knocks you out," he said hoarsely.

"I bet."

"How long have you been awake?"

"About an hour. I already got the details filled in for me."

"What happened?"

A new voice sounded and Shepard turned to see the quarian from the accident that helped them, as well as the geth driver, Dyad. "I'm sorry Captain Shepard, I failed my job. A lone man knocked out the guards at the door and attacked you. After your fight, we brought you here to patch you up."

"Thank you very much for your help. May I ask who you are?"

Tali answered for him, "This is one of my very old friends, Silont'Mikera, you know, the ones I talked about that watched Fleet and Flotilla with me when we had sleepovers."

"-Tolerated! I tolerated watching that," Silont interjected.

"Don't lie, you loved it," Tali teased.

Silont shuffled his feet a little and bowed his head, embarrassed. "...It's a guilty pleasure."

"Who was the man that attacked us?" Shepard asked. Silont picked up his head, "Jordan Carry," He said as he turned on a monitor. It showed the recent news of the attack, the attacker who was apprehended showed a picture of his face. A young man in his early twenties with red hair that rand down on the side of his face, leaving the other half of his head bald. There was also a tattoo on the side of his face that showed a logo similar to Cerberus, but with red color instead of orange.

"Dyad here and I were tasked by Admiral Raan to watch over you guys."

"Where I wish Auntie actually told me," Tali said in annoyance. _I have to agree there._

"Which I apologize heavily for failing. I stopped an earlier attempt at your life when you were recovering on Earth, I found out that a group called Chimera was behind these attacks...They call themselves an organization, but really they are just Cerberus remnants looking to rebuild. They started growing more dangerous as they started dealing in experimental weapons, like that sniper you saw."

Shepard nodded as he remembered.

"But don't worry, my group and I plan to stomp them out before they grow too big of a threat. You don't have to worry about anything Captain, I promise."

"I trust you, Silont. Everyone makes mistakes. How are the guards at the door? Sweet Street and Redge?"

"Those two are unharmed. They are fully recovered and walking around just fine."

"Thank you." _I better send a message to them, I still haven't thanked them for what they done._

The video on the monitor showed Jordan lacking a helmet getting put in a skycar, the side of his head was already bloodied. Surprisingly, Raan showed up in the frame and marched up to the man. "That was my niece you bosh'tet!" She yelled as a loud smack cracked across his face and a video cut out. Shepard whistled, "She can be a tough cookie when she wants to be."

Tali laughed from the human phrase, but Silont just stayed quiet. This time Dyad spoke. "I apologize for your unwanted experience, Creator-Zorah and Shepard-Captain. We are set to leave the Citadel and go to Rannoch soon. It is advised that you two should stay in here until your conditions are more suitable for movement outside the medbay."

"Thanks Dyad. You, too, Silont."

"Get well, soon, Shepard. It was nice to see you again, Tayi," and they both left the medbay.

Shepard returned his view to his quarian lover. "Why does he call you Tah-yee?" He asked.

She replied with a little laugh, "When we were little, he couldn't pronounce his _l's._ So the nickname kind of stuck." Shepard also laughed a little but continued in thought. "It's crazy to think that someone else tried to kill me, but I didn't know."

"I didn't know either. I'm so going to have to talk to Auntie Raan on why she kept my childhood friend a secret."

"Yeah..."

"Yeah..."

Silence ensued and Shepard raised his hand to grasp hers. "We'll make it home, and then you won't have to deal with anymore fighting. I promise."

"Thanks, John," she said with a smile in her eyes.

* * *

 **Authors Note: School starts up again soon, so there are going to be further delays. I'm really going for longer chapters, so I hope you enjoyed this one! This might be subject to editing, however. Also, I'm wondering if I should lower the maturity rating. I'm not sure what kind of violence this falls into, and there will be IMPLIED adult themes in the future, so let me know. Anyways, have a great day!**


	14. Chapter 14: Going Home

"I'm sorry, Shepard, it doesn't look too good," Doctor Chakwas said as she looked over the chart in her hand. "I must advise that you refrain from any possible hazardous activities."

Tali was hovering over the Doctor, trying to grasp a glimpse of the chart. _Keelah, how bad is it?_ Tali already had her side patched up. The sniper wound was a clean shot, missing any internal organs, but she was still running a fever. The same couldn't be said for her human fiancé, however.

"Because of the mix of DNA in your systems, they don't seem to agree with each other when they are directly introduced to each other, even when it's increasingly changing," continued Chakwas as she set down the chart on her desk and continued running scans on the little white machine. Tali could read that the Doctor's body language wasn't exactly confident. "This is a large setback for you, I'm putting you on strict bed rest."

"Alright, Doc," Shepard groaned, "For how long?"

"If things go well, perhaps only a week, if not," Chakwas inhaled, "Months."

"How many months?"

"Just...months." _Something isn't right._ "I'm sorry, Shepard, but I must get back to work, your condition won't get any better just by waiting around and talking."

"I understand, thanks, Doctor."

The older woman only nodded and walked over to her desk, where she got to work compiling data and making treatment plans. Her eyebrows furrowed in furious concentration as her eyes scanned. Tali narrowed her own eyes as she tried to read the calm and collected woman. After a moment, she tore her gaze away to look at her beloved hybridized human laying on the bed. This action did not go unnoticed by him.

"What are you thinking about?" He asked. _What am I not thinking about?_ It was only earlier that she got shot by an experimental sniper that was hungry for _revenge._ Tali scoffed at the thought. Then her lover took two rounds to his core and still managed to beat the living daylights out of the man, all because Tali was insulted. She was touched, of course. But it was frightening to see what great lengths he would go on her behalf. She will _never_ forget the pure, unbroken fire of fury and rage in the one eye that was visible through the hole in his mask as he took the man's head and repeatedly, brutally, smashed it into the wall. She was relieved that the civilians didn't see such a horrendous act.

Speaking of the civilians, there was no doubt that the galaxy couldn't conclude that Shepard and her were in a relationship. The more serious news shows only covered the attack, but other more pop news covered Shepard's personal plans, and already facts disguised as rumors started flying about them being together. Something Tali guess that the people already knew to be true.

Then her old childhood friend, of all people, one that she assumed dead or in hiding, comes in to save the day, and was revealed to be serving on the Tonbay all this time as part of some special secret service that not even she, an admiral, knew about. Not even that, he was tasked alongside a purple geth to be their secret bodyguards, that already once saved their lives without them even knowing back on Earth by the same group their attacker came from. Now she is running a fever while her future lifemate is stuck in a hospital bed...again. _This is all so much, so fast._ She had to admit, this was a big damp in their engagement.

"Hey, you alright?" Shepard asked.

"I don't know," she admitted, "I'm just mixed up."

"In what ways?"

"I don't know, confused...sick...hurt...frightened. I thought it was all supposed to be blown over so we can get to go home and live our lives in peace after all the hell that we keep going through...but...I don't know," Tali gasped in exasperation, "Ancestors know that it's just not fair!"

His nonluminescent eyes behind the mask filled with compassion and love. "I know, and we will. After Chimera, or whatever they call themselves, is stopped, we will." Tali's eyes widened in bewilderment.

"What? No! John, no! You aren't going back out there again on some crazy mission! You have retired! You _are_ retired!"

"I know, and not in this state I'm in...but Tali, I can't risk another chance on your life!"

"No! No! I won't allow it!"

"It's for the best to insure us a future."

"Can you stop playing the hero for one damned second?!"

She said that a little louder than she originally intended, and she looked around to Doctor Chakwas to see if she heard the outburst. If she did, she showed no signs of it as she compiled data with heavy set eyes focused on her task. Satisfied, she returned her view to Shepard. Her skin crawled in fear. She remembered when she first woke up and saw him laying there with black tape scored across his mask to cover the hole, and the bloodied bandages over his abdomen. She thought he was dead before the simple rise in his chest under his armor.

She remembered when her Auntie Raan came in with a new visor for him, Tali requested that more of them with translucent eye areas be made for him in case of accidents. Although she wished those accidents didn't involve guns. Tali took it and scooted herself and her bed over to his. They were in the decontamination chamber at the time, so she felt comfortable replacing it. She unlocked the broken visor and lifted it from his face, and her eyes drank in his features. His face was paler compared to the last time she saw it, and his hair had gotten longer, also his face was growing a small, short beard. But the main feature she focused on was his lips. _It's been too long._ She looked around nervously, they _were_ in a decontamination chamber, after all.

But to her disappointment, Doctor Chakwas came in to roll them both out to the medbay, so she took one last glimpse and pushed the mask back on him. She sighed at what could have been if the moment lasted longer.

"Tali..." Shepard spoke, breaking her from her memories. She mentarily returned to her angry state of mind. "Don't do this again," she broke, "I won't be able to take anymore of it. You...you p-promised me."

"Tali, I can't-"

"No, I-I can't. I just can't." She turned away, "I'm going to go talk to Auntie Raan. I'll be back later," and she started walking at a fast pace, causing the bullet wound in her side to cry in pain. "Feel free to use the vid comm," Shepard called after her.

Before she could leave the medbay, Doctor Chakwas caught her by surprise when she grabbed her elbow. Tali was about to ask, but she noticed the grim look on her face. After a heavy sigh, the Doctor spoke, "I don't know whether it's a good thing or not, but I don't think Shepard will be chasing anybody anytime soon."

Tali only blinked as an icy shiver ran down her back. _Oh please, don't let it be bad._ She pleaded quietly. The silence broke when she mustered the courage to speak. "What do you mean?" Tali perfectly knew what she meant, but she didn't want to give up hope that there was something else entirely that didn't involve Shepard's health. Unfortunately, she was wrong.

"I won't say how severe the wounds were, but I will say that it was enough to mix the levo and dextro portions of DNA in his body."

"What does that mean?" Tali explored cautiously.

"Hopefully nothing, there's a possibility that the two differences will continue as that and have nothing to do with each other. But there might be a possibility for different results."

"What kind of results?"

"I don't know," the Doctor said with an exasperated sigh. She continued with a more frustrated tone, "You must realize that this is well above any medical understanding. No one can just randomly change their DNA!" She paused for a calming breath. "Shepard has become just a strange individual inside as well as out."

Tali began to worry greatly, the last person she wanted to see get frustrated about Shepard's condition was Doctor Chakwas, and if that's happening, then something was truly wrong. Tali also took a calming breath, and decided to reassure the Doctor. A confidence boost would greatly help her. "Hey, I'm sure you can figure it out. Nobody else can do it better than you. You can do it. I believe that."

The older woman replied with a warm smile, "Thank you, dear. I appreciate it greatly." Chakwas turned in her chair with renewed energy and started compiling data once more. "I won't keep you much longer, you go on and talk to your Auntie." Tali nodded and continued to the vid comm room. EDI gave her clearance, on Shepard's orders, of course. Tali looked at the small circular pad in front of the cylindrical area in front of it. She carefully stood on it. She began to grow confused as nothing happened.

"Um, EDI? How do I communicate with the Tonbay?"

"I can do that for you, if you'd like."

"Yes, please."

"Alright...calling. It will be a few moments."

Tali gathered her thoughts of how the conversation should go. She hadn't thought about it much on the way here. _Where do I begin?_ Of course she was going to have to address the issue of keeping her old friend a secret, not to mention a murderous organization as well. She just didn't know how to get around to it.

Shimmering particles of cobalt blue light began to swirl like a miniature tornado in the cylindrical room, and out of it came the form of her Auntie. This was definitely _not_ what she expected by the term like vid comm.

"Shep-Oh! Tali? What are you doing calling me via vid comm?"

Tali pushed down her admiration of the blue light and put on her _serious_ pose. She folded her arms and popped out a leg to tell her that she meant business. "Raan, we need to talk."

It didn't give the desired effect. Instead of seeing Raan acting fearful, she just looked confused. Not even the nervous kind either, she was genuinely puzzled. "About what? Is something wrong? Is Shepard alright?" Tali gave a sigh of defeat, "For the time being. I wanted to talk to you about Silont."

"What about him?" It was Raan's turn to fold her arms. She must have already knew what it was about, and that just made Tali more infuriated. "Why didn't you tell me about him? It's not everyday that your friend shows up to save you and then you find out that he has been your bodyguard the whole time!"

Raan gave a tired sigh. "Tali, trust me. It was better that you didn't know. Silont was the only person I trusted to protect you and Shepard. If anyone saw you and Silont interacting, that would have blown his cover and turned him into a target. That's how he saved your lives the first time in the middle of the summer. Poor Chimera freak didn't even have the chance to put his sniper up before Silont got him."

"About that! Why didn't you tell us that we were being hunted? I didn't expect such serious information to be withheld by my own Auntie!"

Raan's head dropped slightly, "I didn't want to ruin your happiness with Shepard by giving you news that caused fear. Even Silont agreed with that."

"Yeah, well, because of that, we got a pretty nasty scare," Tali said mercilessly.

"I understand that. Can you forgive me?"

Tali was taken aback. She didn't expect to get to this point so fast. She was more thinking a long, beaten and drawn out argument would occur instead. She considered to continue it, but realized how childish that was. So she let her temper cool off, relaxed and happy that the understanding was straightforward. _Why can't all quarian politics be like this?_ She nodded, "Yes, Auntie. I'm glad you understood easily."

"I do want to get home as quickly as possible. But it would be better if their wasn't any bad blood when we get there."

"True. How much longer until we leave?"

"I was supposed to get word from Shepard, we've been ready to go from this end since we left planetside." Tali was about to turn to Shepard until she remembered his words. _It's probably best that we leave before he gets any funny ideas._ "Um, he says he's ready."

"Alright, tell him we'll be able to go once the bay opens and gives us clearance. Contacting them now." Tali thumbed her speaker light, _I'm going to regret this._

She remembered something and stopped her Auntie from cutting the vid comm. "Wait, wait, wait!" Raan looked up curiously, "Hmm?"

"Is Silont on your ship? Can you send him over?"

"I'm sorry, Tali, but he has his own fighter to fly. He's watching over the Normandy from there."

"Can you just hook me up to him?"

"Of, course. But he doesn't have a vid comm set up..." Raan opened her omni-tool and started tapping, "He flies a stealth fighter, so his communication channels are encrypted every minute to prevent jamming. You'll need a program to keep decrypting it in order to keep talking to him. Here, I'm sending the program to you now."

"A minute is all I need, thank you Auntie."

"Keelah Se'lai. Fly safe."

"You, too."

Then she was gone. Tali stepped off the pad and looked at her omni-tool. The program was there and she began uploading it to the Normandy systems. "EDI, can you contact the stealth fighter that this program is assigned to?"

"Sure thing, relaying the call to the room." _That was fast._ A loud amount of static noise crossed the room until her old friend's voice was heard, cutting in and out from the heavy encryption. _"-pard! How...you get the prog...am to my ship's com...ations?!"_

"Silont, it's me, Tali."

 _"Tayi?"_ He sighed over the static. _"I'm guessing Ad...al Raan gave you the program?"_

"Yes, I was wondering if you could come over and help me out with something."

 _"What is it?"_

"It's about John...er, Shepard. I'll tell you more if you come over."

 _"Alright, we might as catch up since we're about to leave. Dyad, change of plans. Take over the ship, I'm going on the Normandy."_

"Oh, you don't have to, it'll only be a quick second."

 _"We're about to leave in a quick second. Raan already called the bay to open, I don't think anyone's too keen to wait any longer than they have to. Besides, I think I can take a break from Dyad."_

This time the purple geth spoke over the call, _"I didn't name myself Dyad for no reason, partner."_

 _"For the last time, we are not partners! Sorry, Tayi, I'll be over there as fast as I can."_

The call ended before Tali could respond. _He doesn't seem to like the geth unit. I wonder why?_ She shuddered, _Ancestors forbid that he's a racist!_ That wouldn't sound like him at all, he was always the most understanding one in her group of childhood friends. She drove the thought from her mind and walked towards the ship's airlock, waiting for her friend to arrive. She opened it and looked over the steps down to the dock, eyeing for a black clothed quarian running towards the ship.

Suddenly a small black mass glided off the dock's floors and flew over near the Normandy, and below it, an even smaller mass dropped from under it and rolled across the path that lead to the steps that Tali was on. She was surprised as it extended upwards and started running towards her, a small pack in hand. It was Silont. _Nice grand entrance._

"What? Did you win a billion credits or something?"

"Ha, I wish," he said as he took the steps two at a time. She stepped back to invite him into the ship which he promptly accepted, shifting the pack into the crook of his elbow. "What do you got there?" Tali asked. "Just a few mementos over the past years, I'd thought it would be interesting to show them off a little while we catch up," he replied as he walked further on, his head pivoting as he looked around.

"That'll be fun-oh, wait! Sorry!" Tali said as she summoned EDI, "Tell Joker that we can head out now, EDI."

"Will do," she replied, a snap of noise ended her intercom. Almost immediately, the Normandy began to raise itself from the docking bay and move slowly away from the Citadel. "I'll be honest," Silont began, "I never thought a ship with a collection like this would be where you are."

"What do you mean?"

"Well, you being an Admiral and all, one would think that you would feel comfortable among your own species. This ship is far from that. Everyone is diverse from each other, both in personality and species. I never expected to see krogans, turians, asaris, humans, quarians, heck, even a real prothean to be on one ship. It feels odd that an advanced vessel like this would belong to such people. It's like walking into an arms store to find it actually be a zoo."

Tali laughed. _He definitely still holds his ability to use descriptive humor._ Silont laughed a little as well. "Anyways," he continued, "what did you need me for?"

Tali's expression turned more solemn, killing Silont's light in his eyes. "Is there something wrong?" He asked. Tali only grabbed his hand and led him to the observation deck. Once they got there, she motioned for him to take a seat, and she took one that stood across from it, her back against the window to the outside of space.

She inhaled deeply, "How close are you to tracking down all of Chimera?" A pause, then Silont sighed. "I know...I know that what happened frightened you...and that I failed to protect you...but you don't need to worry about it anymore. I promise to be more resilient, more capable of taking them down...You stay with Shepard, no harm will come to you anymore."

Tali got a warm feeling in her heart. _He is also still loyal as ever._ She reminded herself of why she really asked the question. "Silont, thank you. But I'm not the one to hear that, John is." He looked at her, puzzled. "Why?"

Tali felt more relaxed and rested herself upon the back of the seat and crossed her legs, "He is being a little overprotective. He's worrying more about me than himself. He's talking about getting out there and taking Chimera down." Silont rested his arms between his knees with his hands clasped together, his back arched. "But he's retired?"

"Exactly!" Tali exploded. "He has two holes in him, and yet he still wants to fight!"

"Did you forget that he took down the reapers?"

"I don't care about the reapers, anymore. This is different! He's wounded and needs to recover...and relax! He's done too much for this galaxy already. He needs to settle down and live happily...with me!"

"He's got the heroic spirit."

"That's his problem! How are we supposed to live together if he keeps trying to get himself killed!"

Silont started laughing fairly hard, which Tali tilted her heads towards, confused and a little hurt. "Now, how's that funny?" Silont slowed to a chuckle, "Isn't that a dry joke on this ship? 'Oh, we keep trying to get ourselves killed, that's normal on the Normandy!' I think those months on Earth has made you soft!"

Tali only glared, she bit back a retort and instead explained. "Si...you never knew what life was like when we were running around the galaxy trying to save it. Everybody on this ship was only concerned about living another day and nothing about how they were going to live afterwards..." Silont looked on, listening. "I felt like the only one who had a dream of what to do with my life after the reapers were gone. I did my part on keeping hope around. But now that the reapers are gone, I intend on keeping that hope alive. I asked you here to help John understand that there's more to life than fighting and protecting, like actually living."

"Alright," Silont answered, "But I have to ask, do you want me to do this because you really care for him? Or because you care for your dream?" Tali scoffed, "Si." He replied with a shake of his head, "I know you aren't selfish by heart, but sometimes we end up a little carried away. But I need to know before I try. So...what is it?"

"Both," she said. "John and my dream are one and the same, but I recognize that he has his own needs, too. I just don't want him to get himself killed."

Silont paused, satisfied by this answer. He began to sit up. "Alright, I'll talk to him. Believe it or not, I'm known fairly well as a good persuasive speaker. But knowing Shepard, he might be a big challenge."

"Yeah, considering that he might be angry when you show up."

"Why?"

"I sort of...gave the order to leave without him knowing," she said carefully. Silont rolled his luminescent eyes behind his dark purple mask. "Now you tell me." Tali only shrugged, "Good luck."

Silont walked out towards the medbay with a clearly irritated tone shown through his body language. Tali settled in the sudden emptiness of the observation deck, noticing that Silont left his bag behind on his seat. She stood up and grabbed it. Her first intention was to go after him to return it, but her second thought told her otherwise. Instead she began to fumble with it's contents as she walked towards the window that made up the wall of the deck.

She pulled out something small as she looked at the passing stars and planets, heading towards the mass relay that will take them home. She looked down and saw that what she was holding was a small model of a ship. It was flat with a centered cockpit, its wings flowing backwards before smaller sections shot forward, the guns protruding out of the angles in between. It was sleek and dark. She turned it over once, twice, and looked out at the stars again.

She noticed there was a section of space that held no stars. This frightened her for a second. _Perhaps it's the Tonbay's shadow?_ _No, that's not right, we're not facing the Sol star._ She noticed that the stars started disappearing and the darkness grew. She was getting terrified until her eyes started seeing bits of metal reflecting little amounts of light. Her eyes focused along the lines of darkness until she figured out that it was a small fighter, it looked very familiar.

She took a glance at the model and back at the dark mass. _It's the same ship!_ She found the cockpit and saw a smaller purple figure waving at her. It was Dyad. She smiled and waved back. Dyad's fins twitched, satisfied. He looked forward and a small darker piece of metal began to cover the window of the ship, hiding him from sight. _That is a very advanced stealth fighter._

Tali pulled something else out of the bag before they passed the final planet's orbital path before the mass relay. Her hand felt something flat, she took it out to find a piece of paper with an inked heart on it. It was definitely not Silont's doing. In all her years of knowing him, he could not make anything this fancy looking. She flipped the paper over and found a picture. There was Silont with a small quarian woman in blue standing next to him, hugging him. Her eyes were light with joy and her hand was on his chest armor. The picture was taken during a sunset, or sunrise. Tali couldn't really tell.

It was a cute picture, she never knew Silont had a bondmate. But she couldn't shake the feeling that she knew this girl from somewhere. She searched her memory but couldn't find anything. She gave up and just sat there, studying the picture. Her imagination substituted Silont and the woman with Shepard and herself. She smiled at the thought.

She must have been standing there for a long time, because she was growing tired and Joker gave the call that they were approaching the relay.

Heavy footsteps of a certain turian sounded as it got a few feet into the observation deck. "You have a lot of nerve for calling the ship to leave," Garrus grunted.

"Is he angry?" Tali asked without turning around.

"Absolutely furious as much as I was."

"Sorry."

"You don't just do that!"

"Sorry."

Garrus took a deep sigh, cooling off. He was already showing signs of authority, granted the ship will soon be his. But he kept himself in line and away from abusing power. Tali smiled. _He'll make a good leader._ The thought pained her. She recognized once again that she was leaving her best friends behind to live her own life on Rannoch with Shepard. She will miss all of them.

"Chakwas told me it was a smart thing you did. I know that Shepard needs to take a step back from fighting, but still..." He sighed once more, "At least your friend managed to calm him down, and more, surprisingly. Seems like Shepard's a little more excited to get to Rannoch."

"Really?"

"Yeah, said something about nearly forgetting a project over there. Your friend has good persuasion skills though, I even found myself fully invested a quarter through his...monologue," Garrus half-joked the last word. "Have you started planning your bonding ceremony?"

"Not since the attack. But I've been planning non-stop before that. I already know where and when I want it."

"Where?" Garrus asked.

Joker's intercom interrupted, "We are now going through the Mass Relay. Get ready." A sudden shock of realization overcame Tali. "I should be down in Engineering!" She speed off leaving a slightly irritated Garrus behind.

"Well then. I guess we'll just get going," he said to himself.

* * *

 **Authors Note: I sincerely apologize for the amount of time it took to update this, and all I have is this short chapter. School has eaten up most of my time. However, I am guilty of not writing as much as I should, I just haven't been as much motivated. It was fairly difficult to get this out considering that I also had to rewrite chapter 5 due to an accidental deletion. Please enjoy this and I'll try to get more chapters out sooner. I have not given up on this story, remember, I would have told you if I have. I don't like keeping people in the dark.**


	15. Chapter 15: Rannoch

Shepard eased himself slowly into the wheelchair as cautiously as he could. But even that didn't stop the wounds from flaring up and screaming. He grunted and let out a long breath once he settled in. Even the small actions started eating at his energy, he wanted to sleep. But he couldn't. Joker just announced that Rannoch was in view and he had to be ready to get off the ship.

"You alright?" Silont asked. "Yeah, I'm good. Just tired is all," Shepard waved his hand. But he noticed him staring. "What's the matter?" Silont sat on the edge of the bed and sighed. "You are by far the most dedicated person to our people that it's almost creepy," he chuckled.

"Oh?" Shepard raised an eyebrow, amused. Silont continued, "Don't get me wrong, I appreciate that you got our homeworld back, and protected it from reapers. But going to the length of becoming one? That's a little strange." Shepard laughed, "I can assure you that I didn't mean to become a quarian. I had no intentions to get a DNA change and get my immune system stripped to almost nothing."

"Yeah, and getting a suit and taking a quarian for a mate, or marrying one, as your people put it," Silont added. "I would have 'married' Tali even if I didn't get a DNA change!" Shepard retorted. "Hey! I mean no ill! Besides, that's proving my point, you're still dedicated to our people, and frankly, I'm glad. I always hoped to set foot on the homeworld someday in my lifetime, and I don't think there is a more honorable person in the galaxy to help with that."

Shepard relaxed his muscles, glad to have quarian approval. Although Silont took an odd direction in conversation to say it, it was approval nonetheless. The fact that he was Tali's childhood friend was a big plus as well. "Tell me about yourself, Silont. What's your story?"

"My story?" Silont was taken by surprise. Shepard nodded. Then Silont scoffed, "That's a first time anyone ever really asked me that. For good reason, I guess. I don't have much to say, or anything to say that's exciting for that matter."

"You're a secret operative, that has to be exciting," Shepard coughed.

"Not really, all my missions are pretty clean cut. 'Go there and do this.' I may have had a few close calls here and there, but nothing serious. All my missions are a mix of textbook and luck. But they all pale in comparison to your adventures."

"Maybe...what was your most intense mission?" Shepard asked. "That depends, one time I was doing a recon mission in geth space. I was assigned to do regular patrols there until one day it went the wrong way. Apparently another geth fighter was there doing the same thing and caught me. It ended up with twelve fighter ships versus me. I ended up losing them near a planet's surface heavy with meteoroids. That's where I salvaged the stealth tech for my own fighter."

Shepard laughed lightly, "Nothing serious?" He asked, recalling his previous words. "That's no small feat. You versus _twelve_ ships? That is very impressive...very impressive."

"But you stood up to hordes of enemies and giant genocidal flying metal crustaceans. I'm pretty sure you won here."

Shepard laughed, the speaker light flickering almost mad and warping his voice to sound near insane. "W-what?" He managed to gasp before falling into another bout of laughter. "Giant genocidal flying what?" He gasped again. Silont just looked at him amused, "Metal Crustaceans, you know, shellfish animals? The thing reapers resemble?"

"No, no, I understand what you mean. It's just that it's a really funny thing to call them. I like your description, it's funny."

"I have a knack for that. My friends always said that about me when we were younger. Said I was a walking dictionary."

"What do you say back?"

"That the word they are actually looking for is a Thesaurus."

Shepard laughed. He liked this person, he was funny, and seemed to always know what he's doing. Although the darker colors do make him seem less than approachable. Then he reminded himself that he wore black almost all the time, as well. He could relate to this guy, he wondered if they could become neighbors. "What's your plans after we land?"

"Well, I was planning on retiring after the, 'End of the Galaxy,' thing happened. But trouble waits for no one. I'll have to redeploy after we get the basic settling in finished. I'll have to figure out where Chimera is getting their greasy hands on experimental weapons and who is manufacturing them."

Shepard hissed at the name, but maintained his temper. "You're sure that Chimera isn't manufacturing the weapons themselves?"

"I mean it makes sense. They're just a broken faction of mercenaries from Cerberus. I don't think they would have the resources to make those weapons. Even if they did, I don't think they would risk exposing themselves like that. You can make a lot of money off of selling those kinds of things. So I think that they are the buyers, not the sellers."

"What if those Chimera assassin's went rogue, just to get to me?"

"That is a thought. Even though they are an organization, their strings are fairly loose. That is a potential complication. I guess I'll just have to track the weapons and see where their head and tail is."

"Head and tail?"

"Sellers and buyers."

"Ah, okay...You can ask Doctor Liara T'soni for any help you might need. She is the master at finding things out."

"That will be greatly appreciated."

"Anyway...how was your chat with Tali?"

"It was good, I got to show off a couple things I've accumulated over the years. It was a big old trip down memory lane, a lot of nostalgia here and there."

At that moment, Joker came over the intercom in the medbay, _"Captain, you better hurry up, we're about to land."_ Shepard began to wheel forward until Silont came up behind him and started pushing him. "We'll be there in a moment," he replied. Silont laughed, "Don't you mean _wheel_ be there?" Shepard groaned. "Please, no." Silont only laughed a little more.

It was difficult getting Shepard to the cockpit, with all the bumps and cracks in between the floor grates and plates. By the time they got there, the ship was already hovering just above Rannoch's atmosphere. "Hey, Shepard," Joker greeted. "You got yourself a welcome wagon," EDI followed up. "EDI!" Joker said angrily, "I wanted to say that!"

To everyone's surprise, EDI actually laughed. "Let's call that payback for making me wear those ridiculous clothes." Joker looked hurt, "I was trying to be helpful, it was cold! That's no reason to steal my line!" EDI chuckled some more, "Well, whatever reason there was, we're now even." Joker only rolled his eyes and motioned his hand out the window. "Anyways, have a look, Shepard."

Shepard raised himself slightly using his arms to look out the window, he managed a few seconds admiration of the planet before the pain in his stomach overtook him, forcing him to sit down again. From his brief view, he saw thousands upon thousands of ships hovering just above the surface. _A welcome wagon, indeed._ "Home, sweet home," he said breathlessly. He was excited, and nervous. So many questions ran through his head at once. _Will she like living with me? Are we going to get bonded soon? Will she like my gifts?_ "Wow, where do we start?"

"One thing at a time, Captain," came Garrus's voice. "What are you doing outside of the medbay?" Shepard shrugged, "We're going to land." Garrus shrugged himself, "Figured you would wait to get out of the medbay until then."

"Eh, I've been sick or wounded for several months. If I stay in a hospital bed for one more second, I might as well get glued to it." Garrus nodded. "Wouldn't that be a treat," he said with a yawn. "Joker, start the landing procedures, the sooner off this ship the sooner we can get away from all the swarming fans." Joker groaned, "Oh yeah...dang it."

Sadness hit Shepard as he saw Garrus giving orders. _This is it. I'm leaving._ He tugged on Garrus's leg and the birdlike alien he only knew as his best friend and brother looked at him questioningly. "I'm going to miss you, Garrus." Garrus chuckled, "Don't think you can rid of us that easily. We're staying for your bonding ceremony."

This surprised Shepard. "I don't even know when it will be!" Garrus chuckled, "Neither do we. Let's just say that Hackett let us stay for as long as we need. Figured we deserved an extended shore leave." Shepard rubbed his eyebrows, "You realize that could be a couple of months right? Surely you will be needed during that time?"

"Eh, if the galaxy starts ending again, maybe. But relax Shepard, we got plenty of time," Garrus replied with a grin. The ship began to descend below the fog of atmosphere, almost like diving underwater. The surrounding ships started to follow along. The altitude continued to drop until the vastness of the planet began to grow and little details on the ground began to pop. Which caused the crew's mouths to drop.

"Wow..." EDI spoke for them. "No kidding..." Joker said.

The geth sure worked hard since the planet returned to the hands of the quarians. Towns could be seen flourishing and even a few skyscrapers can be seen reaching upwards. But that was not the main spectacle. There was a center building larger than all of the skyscrapers combined, and it shone with an orange glow of the afternoon sun. It looked like a castle of glass, and it was definitely a sight to behold.

"That's the center monument building. It was the first building to begin construction and it serves as a reminder to the troubles and what we went through to set foot upon the homeworld again," Silont said. "It is where the Conclave and Admiralty Board make their decisions."

"You can house half of the quarian population in that thing!" Joker said. "It does that, although much less than half," Silont continued, "People needed a place to stay until their houses were built. A few old ships were recycled to make it, and the geth manufactured the glass. The rest of the quarian population are still living in their landed ships."

"Sounds like a party, holding both the government and the civilians in one place," Garrus commented.

"Yeah, those who couldn't wait for their homes decided to take the risk. I can only imagine the amount of debating going on at this very moment."

"Well, let's go find out then," Shepard said.

He allowed Silont to wheel him to the door of the ship. As it came into view he saw Tali leaning against the wall there. She noticed them, and he could tell she was nervous by her obvious wringing of her hands. He took a deep breath and sighed. He then lifted both of his arms to invite her nearer. She edged closer warily until her legs were next to the wheelchair. With his arms, he wrapped them around her waist and hugged. "You're not angry?" She prayed. He rubbed his helmet along her side. "Only mildly," he stated, "But for right now, let's just get home." He heard Tali sigh with relief and allowed herself to caress the cheekside of his helmet. "Yes, home," she whispered.

 _It's best to let go of the situation_ , he thought to himself. Besides, he has got work to do, and a crowd of people to avoid. Any more stress will cause his wounds to reopen. He felt the ship slow down and the cheering voices of the crowd go up. _It's what I get for saving a planet._ He had a split second thought of what could have been if their planet was still enslaved, and the quarians having no hope of continuing life. _Suck it up._ Finally, the ship touched down and sirens for different landing functions started blaring, confirming a safe landing before cutting off. "Prepare yourselves," Garrus announced as he fell in behind them. The doors opened and a bright light of Rannoch's sun on the setting horizon blinded them before revealing the crowd of people cheering only several feet away from the landing zone. The crowd surrounding the whole ship.

Thankful for some distance, Shepard signed for Silont to let go of his wheelchair and he started rolling himself down the ramp. He saw that there weren't only quarians there to greet him, but also some humans and asari. _Smart._

Thankfully there was a path dividing the crowd for him to get through, but that still didn't stop them from trying to talk or touch Shepard. Silont, Tali, and Garrus fell in behind him as he rolled through. Off in the distance, near the other side of the ship, he could see other crew mates like Liara and Kasumi unloading somewhat secretly from the ship. _I guess everyone has had their fill of cheering._ It made sense really. It's been several months since the fate of the Galaxy has been determined, and it felt like a non-stop fame train.

They all waved as they passed the fans and started their way towards the center monument building. Their first order of business was to find out where they were going to live. Tali objected to this at first, telling him that they should wait for everyone else and that she doesn't mind sleeping in the Normandy. Shepard smiled as his first gift to Tali was that he already claimed the spot where they touched down at when they first arrived on Rannoch. The place where she let her imagination roam free and determine a place for a living room window. He managed to do this before they even left the planet. Of course it was Raan that gave consent, which was difficult, considering that at the time Raan didn't know of their relationship. But he was later informed that the team responsible divvying up land allowed it so. Not only just the piece of land, but also almost the entire beachfront on the coast where Tali and him shared a special moment. Knowing this just made him grin wider. He was thankful for the mask to hide it.

They continued towards the center monument building, it's already massive size only getting bigger as they approached it. Somewhere along the journey, Dyad actually joined in, and helped guide them through the building. They first had to meet Raan, and then they had to find the home registration department. Thankfully, they found them both in the same place. They greeted each other with hugs before Raan slapped her hands together, "Alright. Let's find you two a home," she said, her bright eyes winking at Shepard. She turned to the quiet quarian at the desk who only sat there shocked in disbelief that Rannoch's heroes stood before them. Raan asked, "Excuse me? We'd like to, 'register,' for a home."

The quarian remained silent before Raan snapped her fingers in front of her and asked her question again, although a little bit impatiently. The quarian fell from her trance and started working furiously at the little terminal she had. "O-o-oh r-r-right. S-sorry to keep y-you w-w-waiting," she said nervously. "Thank the ancestors that I have been blessed with this shift!" She whispered loudly. "Don't worry, I already know your name," she said to Shepard, his head barely looking over the desk.

She tapped away at the terminal, and seconds later she looked up confused. "It says here that you are already registered and have one house still currently under construction with Tali'Zorah."

"That's interesting," the quarian then said quietly to herself rather sneakily, but loud enough for Shepard to hear. Shepard rolled his eyes...hard. _Great, she's a gossiper._

"What?! Already?!" Tali exclaimed. He watched the look in her eyes shift in recognition, and she stooped down to give him a large hug and a tap of the visor. "Thank you! Thank you! Thank you!" Shepard tried to tell her that the girl at the desk was watching, but ultimately decided not to spoil her excitement.

"They won't be ready for another few days," said the girl, "Would you like a room until then?" Shepard shook his head, "No, thanks." _The rooms must be cramped, I don't want Tali living like that again._ "Can we go see the construction?" Tali pleaded. "No, it's a surprise!" Shepard replied with amusement. Tali mildly pouted, the action so cute that it nearly made Shepard's heart melt. "Come on, let's go do something."

They didn't do much for the rest of the day other than see geth and quarians constructing and other fans on a lookout. They did manage to remain undercover until they got back to the Normandy, where a few people camped about the ship, waiting to get a glimpse of the one and only Shepard...and his rumored lover.

Despite Rannoch's warm atmosphere, the desert was very beautiful and very different. The sun's small amount of luminosity caused a small low-light that made the days clash between high afternoon blues and sunset oranges. The nearness to the ocean allowed for some cool breezes which were very refreshing.

It got dark fairly quickly, though. Even when the sun has not yet touched the horizon. So Shepard, Tali, and the gang huddled into the ship with its crew. Everyone seemed to have a decent first day of, "Shore Leave," which Shepard and Garrus were both happy to see. After a visit by some of the crew like Liara and Joker, the group headed to the observation deck, the one with the bar. Garrus grabbed himself a bottle of turian Brandy and, knowing that Shepard and Tali were still on the challenge, offered some to Silont, who looked sideways awkwardly.

"I, uh, never actually...drank before." Everyone looked at him, somewhat astonished, aside from Dyad, of course. "I think I'll pass." Garrus shook his head, "Everyone's losing their sense of fun," he said somewhat sadly, and took a small sip. He pointed a finger at the quarian, "I'll get you one day, but not today. I'm exhausted."

"If you're lucky," Silont responded.

The conversation went on well into the night, with several laughs as Garrus continued to slowly get intoxicated...and the nights here were long. Shepard only thought about it when he looked back on the day. "Hey-um...how long is the...uh...days here?" He slurred sleepily. Tali answered rather immediately, "A full rotation cycle is equivalent to 32.3 Earth hours!"

Shepard was about to respond when Garrus shouted, "Then the p-party is only getting started! Haha!" Shepard tried to do some math in his head, but numbers were all mush and he couldn't tell if it took him five minutes or twenty before he came to the conclusion that he's been awake for between fourteen and eighteen hours. "Man...I-I'm tired or s-something," he slurred slightly, bending over his knees while sitting on the couch.

"You do realize a human that has been awake for seventeen to nineteen hours is equivalent to being intoxicated...to...some...human blood alcohol concentration level of point-zero-five percent, right?" Silont said. "That doesn't seem like a lot," Tali said, "and how do you know this?"

"For humans it's actually quite a bit...I think," Silont responded, "and I've had some pretty...uh...unique missions."

"So you're telling me that John can get naturally drunk after only seventeen hours of being _awake_?"

"I don't know about, 'naturally drunk,' but yeah. Pretty much."

"Wow, and I thought humans we're tough, didn't know they could get knocked out that easy."

"W-what are you b-blubbering about?" Shepard picked his head up. "Nothing, John. I think it's time you went to bed, can you get in the wheelchair?" Shepard only shook his head, he didn't quite hear them right. "Why would I sleep in the wheelchair? That's ridiculous." Tali glanced at Silont and gave a knowing look, and a very hearty chuckle.

"Let's let him-"

 _"Ahuuuhhg-guhck. Snooooorrree!"_

The three looked at the bird-alien that slumped over the bar, completely knocked out.

Then the laughing ensued, although Shepard did so somewhat maniacally. Silont reworked his sentence after catching his breath, "Let's let _them_ sleep."

With those words, Shepard was out like a light, and though his face was happy, his dreams were disturbed. Then when he woke up in the morning, his exhaustion cleared up instantly when Dyad, who stayed throughout the night, delivered some news. "Project: Bitter Cup is going to wake soon."

* * *

Tali rubbed Shepard's shoulder, testing if he was still conscience. He didn't show any signs of it. Smiling, she carefully turned her human fiancé around so his feet could stretch comfortably across the couch, then tapped her visit against his. "Good night," she whispered. She peered into his lightless mask, seeing that his eyes were closed. "Isn't he just the best?" Tali asked no one in particular. But Silont answered anyway.

"He's very honorable, indeed."

"And he's all mine."

Silence. Tali returned to her own seat. "And then there were three," came Dyad's heavy accent. Both Tali and Silont agreed. This got Tali thinking, and it reminded her of the photo she saw of Silont and the quarian woman in blue. "What about you? Have you got anyone, Silont?" She noticed him instantly grab his hands in awkwardness. "A bondmate? Uh...no, I don't."

"Well, forgive me for intruding on your privacy, but I saw that photo of you and that girl with the heart. What's with that?" He responded with a frustrated sigh. "You don't recognize Das? Dasintha'Bokins? One of our old vid-night friends?"

 _So that's where I recognize her from!_

"Das? Wow, she's definitely grown up!" She definitely did, indeed. The younger and much smaller quarian wore a baby blue with frilly white designs for her child suit. Despite her appearance, she was pretty feisty growing up, but she was just as equally sweet. Now in the photo, she wore cobalt colors with pitch black, more abstract designs. "What has she been up to?"

"Right now she's on a mission scouting for resources in rather dangerous areas of the galaxy."

"Surely we aren't _that_ desperate?"

"You know us, always watching our backs. Admiral's figured it was a good idea to find some tech or weaponry to keep us safe while we dismantle our ships and rebuild."

"Couldn't we ask other species?"

"We tried, everyone else is conserving their resources while they rebuild their homeworlds. So they sent Das out to see if she can strike up any deals with the underworld. She's already managed to get a crate of weapons and a high class frigate. Something like the Normandy, but less advanced."

This was definitely news to Tali. She's been unaware of quarian affairs ever since she's been focusing on Shepard. _I really need to get back in the game._ "So...are you two...a thing?" Tali asked finally. Silont gave a sad chuckle, "For awhile I thought we were, but we never said anything about it. Or I...never said anything about it."

"Well you should, you two look cute in that photo."

"I don't know. We're both on secret service and I don't think a relationship would work in that environment."

"Still, I say give it a shot."

"Thanks, Tayi. Then maybe I could get rid of Dyad here," he gestured to the hulking purple Scandinavian robot standing against the wall. "What's your problem with him? He seems nice."

"Don't get me wrong, he is a huge help and can even be funny sometimes, but he can't seem to figure out when something can be done _alone._ "

The geth flicked his head plates to make himself seem somewhat surprised. "We're tasked together, so we complete our missions together," he chirped gruffly. "Otherwise there would be no point in our partnership."

Silont leaned over to whisper in Tali's audio receiver, "I think he's just clingy." Tali responded also with a whisper, "At least you're not alone."

"I actually prefer that."

"Apologies, is this significant drop in audio volume supposed to indicate that I am not supposed to know this exchange of data?"

Silont groaned, "Yes, Dyad."

"Recent Memory Wipe complete."

A pause, then Silont sighed. "How are you fitting into Rannoch?" He said, propping his knee up and hugging his leg. "Very well, having a house already in construction is exciting. I can't wait to see it, to _feel_ it, to _touch_ it."

Dyad interrupted, "Creator-Zorah, if you are interested, I could help you boost your immune system...if you would like to exit your suit sooner. Quarians have already gone through with similar procedures." Tali nodded, "Yes, yes, so I heard," she thought back to the time with Shepard in the engine room, "I would rather a...non-sentient upload of the procedure to my suit, if that's possible."

"Understood, programming can undergo development shortly."

"Thanks," Tali yawned. "I myself am getting tired." She was excited of the idea of feeling the desert sand on the bare skin of her feet, but the excitement drained her energy. "You should sleep," Silont proposed, then yawned, "I would, too. But I have to turn in my report for the night. Stay here, Dyad, I'll be back."

"Okay, have fun, Si," Tali yawned again.

"Will try," he said simply. With a couple steps of Silont's boots, Tali fell asleep, her arm propped towards Shepard.

* * *

 **Authors Note: So, um...I'm not dead. Merry late Christmas and Happy 2018. I would have released more chapters but I had to spend more time with family over the holidays. Hopefully you guys are still interested in Mass Effect. School is still a large pain and fairly exhausting.**

 **So to kick off this year, I think my New Year's Resolution is to finish this story, or at least the most important parts this year. I actually been writing this chapter and the next one at the same time, so the next chapter is not far off and is already part way completed, and it's a VERY special chapter, so watch out for that. I actually might start branching off into other fandoms, just for the sake of keeping my enthusiasm around and not burning myself out on one thing. Anyway, hope you enjoy this story so far, more interesting stuff to come.**


	16. Chapter 16: Project: Bitter Cup

He took a large intake of breath as he woke up. His eyes fluttered and instead of seeing a tint of light blue, he was blinded by how brightly white it was in the room. That's when he first noticed that his visor was missing. _Where am I?_ He possessed several moments to readjust and reorient himself. He sat up and felt the cool air upon his skin. That's when he noticed his suit was missing, also. The only thing he had to cover his body was a small pair of white underwear. _Am I in a clean room? Why? The last thing I remember is..._ He searched his memory. It was filled with screams and shots of gunfire, with the occasional roar of screeching robots. But most of all, his failure...his fault.

 _How am I alive?_ He _searched_ his bare skin to find many scars, but what frightened him most was the fact that these scars were _glowing._ Only a little, but they were definitely glowing an orange color. _What the? What happened to me?_ He tried to clear his head to make sure he wasn't seeing things, but they were still there. He scratched the hair on his head, which seemed like got longer the last time he noticed. He then felt the skin on his face, which was also growing a small amount of hair. _How long have I been outside of my suit?_

He looked around the room. It was very white. It hurt his eyes. On the wall across from him was a stall with a silver toilet with a plastic seat, next to the stall on the left was a silver sink with a mirror, the basic cleaning needs like a toothbrush was provided there. On the right of the stall carved into the corner of the room was a shower. It had a blurry glass window with a white curtain to go along with it. Directly to his right was a table with a simple, small chip with a note. _"Watch This."_

 _What the hell? What's going on?_ He closed his eyes and tried to clear his head again. "No," his voice cracked hoarsely. It felt like he hasn't spoken in years. "No," he tested again. Still hoarse and quiet. He grunted roughly. "No." He cleared his throat. "No...no...no, no, and no," his voice edging back to normality. Satisfied, he looked to his left, where on the far side of the room was a large screen and a black couch. To the right of the screen in the corner was a door. _Well, at least there's a way to get out of here._

But more interestingly, in the wall left of the screen where his head was facing, was a large aquarium with different kinds of fish inside. _What kind of ship am I on?_ He decided to figure that out after washing up, it would help him focus and think. He got off of his white, queen-sized bed, undressed, and walked shakily towards the shower. He turned the silver knob and allowed only lukewarm water to crash down on him. It may be only lukewarm, but it felt heavenly to him. Keeping his mind on resources, he only allowed himself a less than three minute shower.

He washed his hair and face, redressed, brushed his teeth, and shaved. He would have to get his hair cut later. He would normally have his lifemate do that, but, she has been gone for years now. The thought pained him. He missed her greatly. But it also stirred him a little. _Didn't I see her recently?_ Then he remembered that he was asleep. _Must've been a dream. Weird, it was so vivid._

Feeling clean, he walked back towards his bed to find a box hiding underneath the table with something wrapped on top of it. He picked up the wrapped thing to find a plate with food on it. It looked like it was made just recently. On the wrapping was a note that said, _"Don't worry, it's sterilized."_ This angered him. _What the hell kind of ship is this? Why are we serving this rather than nutrient paste?_ All he could see in this was a waste of resources. He looked at the box and found it to be a microwave. He felt disgusted. That was before his stomach let out the largest growl he's ever known.

He had a battle of wills, telling himself no but ultimately giving into temptation. _When I find the Captain of this ship, I'm going to have a few words with them._ He then ripped off the clear wrapping and stuck the food in the microwave, which instantly heated up. He pulled it out and again noticed the chip on top of the table with the note. He held it in one hand and held the food in the other and walked to the large screen on the wall.

With one swift movement he plugged the chip into the side of the screen and sat on the couch with his plate of food. The food consisted of a pastry with some sort of yellow cream swirled on top of it in a fancy fashion, next to it was some unknown meat cooked somewhere between medium and medium rare, and next to that was something orange and cubed with a soft texture topped with some green plant food.

He picked up the eating utensils that were provided and began to eat. After a few heavenly bites, he signed for the screen to play the chip. It was here that he noticed the lack of his omni-tool. _Makes sense if I'm a prisoner,_ he thought pessimistically. _I bet the door is actually locked._ He thought of whom he was imprisoned to. _Could be to my own people. After all, I put them at risk._

The screen started to light up with the vid. It was black but phased out to show the interior of an unknown ship. It looked like the camera was rested on top of a desk. Someone was there, for the chair was rolled back and wheels could be heard, then a door opening. There were two voices in the background, both male. One voice was warped by a speaker, _quarian?_ The other was different, it had the unmistakable internal rumbled echo, which only one species was known for, _turia_ _ns._

 _"Thanks,"_ said the quarian voice. _"Just don't break it,"_ laughed the turian. The door then closed and the footsteps returned to the desk where the camera laid. Then... _human_ _hands?_ The hands rested some odd blue holographic eyeglasses in the camera's view. He then connected it to an unseen terminal and rolled into view. Shockingly, this quarian was not a quarian at all, but a human in a modified quarian suit. _This is getting interesting._

 _"Hello. I'm sorry this is a little rushed. As of making this, I only have a short time before I need to tend to something. So I'll make this brief. I know you are probably confused as to where you are, and why you're glowing orange. But first, let me catch you up on some events you should know about."_

The quarian-human hybrid fiddled with the eyeglasses until a video showed up on the camera's screen. It showed a hulking metal creature with a blaring red eye aiming down on a speck of black on some desert planet. _What in the hell is that?_ The video zoomed up faster and faster, it took him a moment to realize the video was on a ship, and the ship dropped fire down on the metal monster. _"The first thing you should know is that the reapers came, but luckily, we survived."_

The video switched over to another planet with high buildings and even more metal monsters. _Reapers._ He looked on in awe as humans were either slain brutally by zombie-like creatures or vaporized by huge beams of light coming from the reapers. It was a horror show, he couldn't imagine such a hell could exist. _"The galaxy-ending bastards are the reason why I had to adopt one of your quarian suits,"_ said the man.

The video again switched over to a ground fight. In it were two distinct figures charging straight towards an especially large reaper with orange eyes. One of them was a man. He couldn't see his face, but the tenseness revealed that this man was angry, full of fury and ready to take the ending. Behind him was a very recognizable quarian woman clad in battle gear. _No! She was there, too?!_

His heart nearly stopped when a large beam of light threw a human vehicle into the air towards them. The screen was temporarily clouded with smoke. When it cleared, the person recording had the quarian woman, weak and bloodied, leaning on them. _"I need an evac, now!"_ Said the human onscreen. The screen cut again on the ship where the same human ran back out into battle with the quarian woman reaching out to him. A split second thought crossed his mind. _What importance did he hold to her?_

 _"As I said, we survived, but here's the real kicker. Your people and the geth have made peace, and are working together. Shocking, right?"_

 _What the actual hell?_ But sure enough, the video cut to geth and quarians working together on a desert planet... _Rannoch?_ He couldn't believe this for a single moment...he wouldn't. This had to be faked, it must be a sick prank. Or was he still asleep? Was this just a dream?

 _"I know it's hard to believe since you spent your life trying to fight them. But these geth had their own struggles against the reapers. We managed to free them, thankfully. Now your people and them live in harmony."_

"Ancestors..." He whispered.

 _"Now...I have a surprise for you. You aren't on a ship, right now...you're on Rannoch."_

At that moment, the door opened. He almost had a heart attack and choked on his food when a simple dust colored geth walked in, his metal sparkling clean. It closed the door and faced him. His flight or fight responses started kicking in, assessing on how he could possibly take down this potential threat in just a pair of underpants. He ducked behind the black couch and focused on just staying alive and steadying his breathing. _I'm being executed! That's what this is!_

His blood ran cold, and his fingers went numb. He couldn't find hope in defeating this metal monster. Even if he could, there was no way that he would be walking away in one piece. His ears ran muffled in fear, as if he was underwater. His forehead was already sweating and his mind ran a thousand miles per hour. His spine shook as he imagined the potential mix of flesh and metal. _Get a grip! I'm not going out without a fight!_

"Creator? I've brought you some clothes."

 _The hell did I just hear?_ He must be losing it. _There's no way a damned get would talk like that!_

"Creator?" It spoke again.

With somewhat trembling hands, he lifted himself over the arm of the couch, just enough to get a look at the geth. There it stood, with a mix of white and red clothing resting in the relaxed metal hands of the geth. An uneasy silence filled the room. His eyebrow was raised and his mouth was agape. The geth itself also looked uneasy, as it turned it's head like it was glancing from the door to him, it also raising itself on it's toes and down again.

"I uh...apologize if I interrupted your study of that couch, Creator. Um...I brought you some comfortable attire, if you're interested."

He said nothing.

"Eh, okay...I'll just leave it here on your couch."

He remained silent with his mouth still open as the geth set down the clothes. It then turned and walked towards a wall. Putting it's metal hands upon it, the geth pushed against it towards one side. Part of the wall moved, and collapsed inside itself towards one side, revealing a large window.

The geth then walked towards the door, but before it left, it stated awkwardly, "I...uh...advise you to enjoy the scenery, Creator. Perhaps it will help you relax."

It opened the door, and took one last look at the quarian man in underpants huddled behind the couch like a child. "Please, clothes wouldn't be a bad idea, either," it said, and closed the door behind itself.

His mouth finally closed, and the only thought in his head was, _What the hell?_ He cautiously raised himself from the couch arm and walked towards the clothes, as if it was a bomb ready to go off. He noticed a pair of black pants made of some odd material, and a light, white, long-sleeved shirt. On top of that was his familiar patterned red cloth wrappings for his suit, accompanied by his blue visor. His helmet, however, was replaced with a light, spongy rubber head casing. It's sole purpose seemed to only be to hold the visor.

It was then that he noticed the video of the human-quarian hybrid was still going. _"...your immune system boost. But Randy will still provide you with a mask if it makes you feel comfortable."_

 _Randy?_

Without thinking, he grabbed the clothes and started putting it on. _Screw it, questions will be answered. I'm freezing my ass off._ This is when he also noticed the window again, and the utter shock of what laid on the other side took his breath away. He struggled to put his shirt on while still holding his visor as he looked outside.

Instead of the stars that he was so used to seeing, there was large desert land with a few sparse trees growing in the distance. There was a sandstone fountain just outside as well, marked with beautiful carvings and designs.

He knocked and looked at the window in different angles to make sure it wasn't a video screen he was looking at. _There's no way this is Rannoch._ He couldn't handle the flow of information that was coming to him, so he focused on putting on his head casing and visor. He was happy with it's familiarity, but it must have been awhile since he has had it on, because it felt slightly suffocating. He then continued to take his red cloth and wrapped it around himself. He tied knots in places where there were buckles, but it was still fairly loose without his armor.

He felt too casual, it was unsettling. But he had bigger things to focus on. Like what the hell in general was going on and why. The quarian-human hybrid grabbed his attention again.

 _"That about wraps up the major things going on. By the time you see this, I'm actually on my way to see you. So expect me very soon."_

 _Oh. Okay, it'll be great to have some clarity...finally._ But because of the geth scare, he felt like he missed out on some very important information in the vid. So he searched for the remote and started rewinding it to the point where he lost focus. His nerves somewhat more relaxed, he sat down on the couch.

But before he could hit the play button, the door opened once again, and in came the black armored quarian-human hybrid in a wheelchair.

"Good morning Admiral Rael'Zorah, it's good to finally meet you."


	17. Chapter 17: Leisure Hours

Tali scanned the pages of the human textbook in her hands. Each page had a glossy sheen, indicating a near mint condition. This made her take extra care with the thin pages.

Her glowing eyes hungrily took in each picture and thirsted for each word. Despite the rather boring language used, her imagination ran wild as she dreamed up the historical scenarios and placing herself in the shoes of each famous person, imagining what each faced and thinking about what she would have done if it were her. Sometimes it concerned her that the textbook mainly contained wars and bloody conflicts and not too much about the society of each group or nation of humans, except for the major ones like those in America, Europe, and East Asia. She wanted to learn about the ones in the southern hemisphere, like South America and Australia. Africa was mentioned plenty of times, though. However, it was mostly about the terrible things that has happened there.

Human culture was absolutely fascinating for her. She never knew there could be so many differences in between one species. It was almost as if a whole another galaxy was held inside the planet Earth. She spent hours pouring over each detail of the textbook, changing reading positions so frequently that she would be in a different one each time someone would return to the observation deck.

It was an enjoyable way to pass the time since Shepard was out everyday looking over the construction of their new house that was being built. Each time he left, she would beg him to take her along to see it, and each time he would refuse with the same answer, "It would spoil the surprise!"

Tali hated hearing it sometimes, but she strove to be patient. Shepard must be really hard at work for making the house special, since sometimes she wouldn't see him at all during the night. That she hated more. Even though she knew that she would see him everyday, she would miss him so much during his absent hours that it ached. Sometimes she felt like it was because she was acting too pushy to see the house, so she decided to take it down a notch whenever he returned.

Still, she was excited. Her young girl dream was almost complete. Soon she would be bonded to Shepard and live out the rest of her life in her dream home. It was almost too much to handle! She gave a fervent prayer of thanks to the ancestors, and reminded herself to do so every day for the rest of her life.

"How's my sister?" Came an eerily close, familiar voice. Tali turned her head slightly and met Kasumi's face right up against her mask. She jumped...and screamed, too.

"AH!" Tali's scream rang throughout the deck and she toppled off the couch, landing straight on her rear end. Her small, sneaky Japanese friend bursted out laughing.

"Kasumi! What in the name of.?!" Her tongue ran off angrily, followed by a string of Khelish and it's more mild curses. She rubbed her behind tenderly. "That wasn't funny!" Kasumi attempted to collect herself in between her bouts of laughter, and it took awhile before she could finally form a coherent sentence.

"Aw, man," she gasped and chuckled, "It's been awhile since I've done that."

Tali only gave a dirty glare, which Kasumi responded with a roll of her head in substitution of her eyes. "Don't give me that look. It's more cute than threatening," she said as she walked around to help her up. "Wait until I get my shotgun," Tali groaned with effort as she pulled on Kasumi's arm. "Har har," Kasumi fake laughed. She noticed the textbook on the floor, "How're you enjoying your book?"

"It's very good! But...you guys have a lot of violence. You all fight like a bunch of..." She stopped herself before she said too much. Kasumi answered for her anyway, "Animals?"

Tali nodded.

"Don't worry about it too much. We're a relatively new space-faring race. I can see why we might seem like that."

"I'm sorry, I shouldn't have that point of view. I'm sure all the wars on your homeworld has a meaning to exist-"

"Human greed for resources," Kasumi said suddenly. "That's about almost every war. If there was anything that we should have learned from the thousands upon thousands of wars that we had...it's that we should be content with what we have."

Tali raised an eyebrow, "If that was the case, then why are you a thief?"

Kasumi opened her mouth, but no words came out. She stood there dumbstruck like that for a couple seconds before closing her mouth again. "So?" Tali asked smugly. "I have nothing to argue," Kasumi admitted. "At least I don't think I start full on wars over what I steal." Tali smiled brightly for her minor victory over her friend.

"I guess that's because nobody has anyone to blame when it happens because they don't know it was me...unless I did that rose thing," Kasumi added. "You kind of need two people to start a war." Tali nodded in agreement. She bent over to pick up the textbook and place it on the couch. "So!" Kasumi changed conversation suddenly, "Got any plans other than reading? I'm dying of boredom."

Tali shook her head irritably, she couldn't find anything interesting to do, which was why she resulted to reading her textbook. "Sorry, Kas. I've got hardly any ideas, myself." The thief gave a disappointed look, but asked hopefully, "Have you finished planning your wedding?" The word was still fairly foreign to Tali, but even if she didn't know what it was, the context sufficed, and her eyes widened in disbelief at herself.

"No! I haven't finished planning! Keelah, I am so stupid!" She exclaimed. She then bolted off to fetch for a data pad. "Tali! Wait for me!" Tali heard as she turned the corner of the door.

Her data pad, along with her omni-tool, held all the information on how she wanted her bonding ceremony to go. Normally it wouldn't take much planning considering resources and the three hundred years of her people being nomads, but she was bonding with a human, and on her homeworld. She didn't want it to be dull, and from what she had found out about human bonding ceremonies, they are anything _but_ that.

She wanted to incorporate some of the human traditions into the ceremony. Not just because they were interesting, but because it would make Shepard a little more comfortable. She didn't want him to feel like he was _too_ out of place.

She retrieved her data pad out of Shepard's cabin. It was one of the few things she kept in there since she visited and stayed often. Kasumi managed to reach her when she came back out of the door. "Ya know, you're a lot faster than you seem," she said, a little out of breath. Tali laughed. "I think you have been out of training for awhile."

"What, and you haven't?"

"Fair point."

Kasumi took a few deep breaths, "So, where to?" Tali curled her fingers under her neck with her head bent forward thoughtfully. She remembered that it was another action Shepard found, "cute," for whatever reason. "I mean I don't have to grab anything else, we can go outside. It's a nice day."

Kasumi rubbed her neck, "Oh."

"Oh? Don't like the light?" Tali laughed.

"No. It's just that this world is a little hot, don't ya think? And I just chased you up here, so...yeah." Tali laughed once more, "We'll sit in the shade. Come on, it won't be that bad." Tali walked passed her to take the elevator down, and she thought the thief most likely rolled her eyes.

They first made a stop at the mess hall to grab some refreshments. Kasumi grabbed some lemonade, while Tali just grabbed a water bottle and a..."straw." They also had a run in with EDI, Joker, and Liara before leaving the ship. EDI and Joker were returning from the medbay, with Joker having a cast around one of his fingers, something about _button diagnostics._ Liara, however, simply had her eyes glued to a data pad. "Hey Liara, Tali and I are just gonna go outside to plan her bonding ceremony. Thought we should let someone know." Liara only said, "I'm helping your friend, Silont," simply, although suddenly tight lipped.

 _Oh yeah! Silont! I wonder where he ran off to?_ "I hope he's not too much trouble to work with. Have fun with him, though!" Then they were off.

It wasn't as easy to find shade _and_ privacy as Tali first hoped. There was still a fairly large crowd of people just outside of the circle of space that was now taped off. It's only been about less than a week since they first landed, yet the crowd, the paparazzi, and the news reporters still kept coming. A few pointed at her, most likely thinking about the factual rumors of her relationship with Shepard.

 _If they could only see my data pad._ "Come on! It's been several months since the final battle!" Kasumi said exasperated. Tali herself sighed in annoyance, "Yeah, well, they didn't know until a _couple_ months ago." The women started to walk around the ship, looking for a direction away from the small crowd. "Still," Kasumi added, "You would think that it would have ended by now."

"People are people." They found a gap as a pathway away from the ship towards a small range of hills, but due to the sparse amount of trees, there was still plenty of people able to see them. They shared a glance, both knowing. "I think we might be stuck here," Tali assumed, ready to give up. "Not necessarily," Kasumi argued as she revealed a package of cloth attatched to her waist.

"Come here, get close to me," she ordered.

"Oh? What is it?"

"I've been tweaking that little something something I got from that armory back on Earth. Ugh, quit fidgeting!"

"Oops! Sorry!"

Tali stood still as Kasumi loosely wrapped the cloth around both of their waists, connecting each end together.

"Alright...let's hope this works," Kasumi whispered nervously as she summoned her omni-tool. With a few taps on the holographic display, the cloth hummed and started fading away into the desert background, taking the two occupants with it.

"Ooh, this is weird," Tali said with a touch of excitement. She bent over low and saw that her whole body disappeared, as well as Kasumi's. "Be quiet, we're going to sneak out now, and keep close to me!"

"I get it, already!"

Tali stood back up straight, and her and Kasumi's body returned to sight. Clearly anything outside of the stealth cloth could not see them. She silently praised Kasumi for her idea.

The two women then started walking out from the ship towards the hills, the only thing indicating their position was the pair of footprints they left behind on the dusty desert floor. Tali kept her head on a swivel, making sure nobody could see them. She could feel the soft sand under her boots as she carefully placed her feet so she wouldn't trip, and she kept a hand on Kasumi so she wouldn't fall.

Once they reached behind the hills, Kasumi uncloaked them both and started folding up her piece of tech. Tali released a sigh of breath she didn't know she was holding in. "We should be good now," Kasumi whispered slightly. "Should we go a little ways or stay behind here?" She motioned the the small hill of dirt and sand between them and the ship.

"Let's go a little farther, I'd like a bit more breathing room."

Later, being more comfortable with the distance, Tali sat down underneath a thin tree and pulled out a water tube and some nutrient paste from her pockets. She's completely forgotten about breakfast and it was almost noon, good thing she packed for lunch. Taking a small swig from the water tube, she positioned her back against the tree and her data pad on her lap.

It was difficult to find a good shady area for Kasumi. The sun was at it's peak and the scrawney trees that grew around the area didn't have very good coverage. But thankfully, one hill had an overhead rock formation to cast a nice amount of shade for the little thief.

"Why don't you come over here?" Kasumi asked, "There's plenty of room left."

Tali shook her head and looked up the tree and it's branches, a new breeze rustling the few lime colored leaves. "No, it's quite nice over here, and I just sat down."

"Fine, what do you have planned so far?"

"Not much, I have the time and the place, and I have an incomplete list of people I'd like to see there. I feel like it would be best if it was a bit more private, with just us and a couple friends."

"True, but we have a lot of friends. But when and where do you want it?"

"At the beachfront, Shepard and I shared a moment there," Tali paused to show her a map on her data pad. "Also within three months, at the height of the day." She could feel her excitement grow more and more as she kept talking about it.

"That's fairly soon, are you sure you don't want to wait a couple months after? It'll be pretty difficult to set up everything by then. We have to complete the guest list, set up the ceremony, a whole lot more, even a dress!"

"That shouldn't be too difficult to set up in three months?" Tali responded.

"But that's the thing!" Kasumi near yelled, "You have to take time! It's your special day and it can't be anything less than flawless and perfect!"

Tali scoffed, "That's a bit of unnecessary pressure, don't you think?"

"Absolutely not! You're getting bonded!"

"I really don't think Shepard and I care that much. I don't think either of us want it to be extreme."

"I know you're excited, Tali, but you want it special! Four months is even considered a short amount of time for planning. Can we just push it back until then?"

"Again, Kasumi, we don't want anything extreme. The ceremony is for Shepard and I, and that's special enough for us."

Kasumi sighed in defeat. She instead tried to compromise, "How about this, we set the time for the month after, and if you manage to set up everything before your time, then you can do whatever you want. But if not, then we do it my way."

Tali rolled her eyes, "Yeah, sure. Whatever."

Kasumi gave a semi-satisfied sigh, stretched her back, and sat back down. "Now that that's settled. Any ideas for what you want for a dress?"

Tali's eyes glowed a little brighter as she excitedly started searching through her data pad.

* * *

Garrus picked up a chair and settled it closer to the table near the window where Joker and EDI sat in the corner building. The building itself didn't have anything going on. It's function was to be a quick stop for food and miscellaneous supplies, but it wasn't filled with anything yet and was open to the public as just a place to sit. It gave off a diner feel to it as there was a counter off to the side and the multiple tables and chairs filled the bigger spaces.

EDI carressed Joker's damaged hand and gave Garrus a glance as he sat down. "Is Shepard coming?" She asked.

"He should be. I don't see what the guy could possibly be busy with."

"There's his house," Joker chimed in.

"Yeah, but the Geth are taking care of all that. He shouldn't have to lift a finger on it."

"Perhaps he wants to give it a few, 'personal touches,' as people call it," EDI continued.

"Perhaps."

It was quiet a few moments. The late afternoon sun broke easily through the perfectly translucent glass. It was difficult to tell that there was glass there at all. It was relaxing. Although it's been many months, Garrus was appreciative that he could relax in clean gear and not in blood, sweat, muck, and grime. Tikkun was warm as always, and its rays kept the streets almost boiling hot. Garrus was happy to be in the building and not outside. He yawned as Joker broke the silence.

"Man, it's been so boring lately. These past few days have been dragging on and on for me. I think I might go crazy if I don't have anything to do. The only thing keeping me awake right now is the sound of construction."

"Yeah, me, too," Garrus agreed.

"Any idea when the Captain can get out of that wheelchair?"

EDI answered for him. "It'll most likely be another month or so. Stomach wounds are not exactly the easiest to heal. At this point it's whenever he feels no pain when he walks."

"Poor bastard can't ever get a break, can he?"

"Guess not," Garrus said. "I don't like it."

Garrus had an uneasy feeling ever since the attack at the Citadel. He didn't know whether it was guilt or anger, most likely both. He knew that quarian, Silont, was on its case but he didn't feel comfortable doing nothing. He just had to do what he's best at where it's best at, and that was making sure Shepard and his crew were safe.

As if his arrival was on cue with his thoughts, a bell rang over the door and in came Shepard in his wheelchair. "Sorry, I'm late guys."

"Spirits, Shepard, what the hell have you been up to?" Garrus asked.

He seemed uneasy. Shepard scratched his neck armor, "Uh, not much, really. Just looking at the house. Helping here and there." Garrus looked at him in a suspicious manner, but bought it anyway. If Shepard was actually doing something different, he was sure that he would tell him sooner or later.

"So, what did I miss?"

"Not much, Cap'n. We're all just kind of chilling out. We haven't had much time to do that since we've landed since you've been busy with the house and all," Joker said.

"You could've joined me, Silont, Tali, Dyad, and Garrus in the observation deck that one night."

"I could, but EDI and I were busy maintaining the Normandy. Y'know, since practically everyone was out."

Garrus realized his mistake, and became somewhat flustered because of it. "Sorry, Joker. I should've asked some people to stay behind to help you out."

Joker laughed, "Nothing against you. It was actually quite enjoyable being alone on the bridge for once." He noticeably tightened his grip on EDI. Garrus couldn't help but snicker. "What, bird brain?" Joker chuckled. "Oh, nothing," Garrus replied, "Just wondering if you came up with any new robo moves for, 'getting down.'"

Garrus was met with a plastic holder to the face and a Joker's flustered laughing, "No, you dumbass!" The rest of the group chuckled, and a mild silence ensued. For some reason, nobody could keep the quip train going. It was almost too peaceful for that.

 _Shepard and Tali are home, we don't need to joke to cope with stress. We're done...we're practically free._ Garrus smiled. Sure it was boring, but it was appreciated.

Joker groaned again. "I need to fly again."

"Maybe we could ask the quarian people if you could help out in any way. There's still work to do up there with all those old ships," Shepard suggested. Joker's eyes lit up, "That'd be great, Shepard!"

Garrus cringed somewhat. He was the new Commander of the Normandy, and he couldn't of thought of something simple as that. Shepard noticed, "What's up, Garrus?" He shook his head, "I don't know, this position I have...you're giving me, 'big shoes to fill.' I still have so much to learn."

Shepard gripped his shoulder, "You'll do great, believe me. Half the missions we have done were off the rails, but we pulled through it all. Together. I'm sure you'll be fine."

"Thanks, Shepard."

After more moments of silence, the group silently decided to go get a look at the sights of the city in the works.

It was beautiful, the world. The sky was in perpetual sunset lighting and it was littered with overhanging spaceships waiting to land. Construction noises were heard as buildings with a mix of ancient quarian and modern geth styled architecture were built. Sandstone buildings with beautiful engravings and markings stood at corners and the bases for skyscrapers that gleamed in the sunlight were seen more inwards of the streets. The streets were made of paved desert sand, stone, and dirt. No fancy asphalt to make the city seem misplaced. Sure there was dust that flowed with the wind, but there was hardly any worry, considering the people wore masks everywhere they went.

"Perhaps we could go to a gun range?" Shepard suggested.

Garrus and Joker laughed. "I have a broken finger, captain, I'm not risking it," Joker said. "And you're in a wheelchair, Shepard," Garrus continued, "Something tells me that you wouldn't be able to do much."

"I don't need legs to kick your ass, Vakarian," Shepard mildly threatened. "Come on, I haven't shot anything in awhile and my trigger finger is getting bored."

Garrus gave a frustrated chuckle and followed Shepard as he wheeled off to find a gun range of any sort. The turian quipped something about their last competition on the Citadel shooting bottles, in which the human-quarian hybrid made some excuse and a more determined statement to win.

"Maybe we could call some of the guys and see if any of them are around to hang out," Joker suggested. They agreed. EDI gave the call.

Garrus stretched and yawned. The leisure hours were getting to him. Training himself at the gun range would help keep his senses sharp. _And besides, a little crew bonding never hurt._

Things were looking up and getting better.

* * *

 **Authors Note: Holy! I got thrown for a loop these past months. With finishing up this year of school, holidays, boredom, and more. I am severely sorry for the short, rather boring chapter, but there is more to come that is already getting worked on. The schedule for these chapters are never guaranteed, though. Just know that it takes awhile.**


	18. Chapter 18: More Pieces

Silont flicked the green switch. His favorite switch.

This switch put his stealth tech and weapon systems into high alert. This switch cloaked his ship while making his weapons charged and ready to deliver a massive deadly force if need be. But this made his ship incredibly hot, adding to the pressure of stress and anticipation. It wasn't an easy nor a smart idea to surprise and attack a Chimera faction, especially within the _middle_ of all its forces.

Silont was definitely afraid of death, and this definitely put him at risk. It was difficult to tell whether or not that this mission could be deemed a _suicide mission,_ as there was a high chance of him dying. But there was also a good chance of him _not_ dying, he just had to pull this off.

Even so, there was a certain thrill in the face of death. He romanticized it heavily. Call it a strange, twisted sense of masochism. All Silont thought of it was an unknown, and as a self declared explorer, he was always curious what the experience would be.

But he had a job to do and lives to protect. He quietly maneuvered his ship into the small fleet. It took some time to track them down, but with Liara's help, it thankfully didn't take longer. He didn't know how she did it, he was just glad that she did. Because right now, they were facing in direction of Rannoch. _Shepard sure made a lot of enemies._

The fleet was small, yes. But it was highly advanced. Noticeable experimental guns protruded from each ship. _They seem to have invested themselves in the best weaponry they could get._

But even with the impressive display of firepower, it was easy to tell that they had a loose chain of command. Each ship was sprawled haphazardly through space that there was no defined formation. Each ship seemed eager to get to the front of the pack to get a chance for a blow at Shepard.

 _Ya'know, I expected a more ground controlled base of assassins, I didn't think they'd come as an army of ships!_ _Probably how Liara managed to find them._

Speaking of which, Liara started contacting him through his encrypted channel.

 _"Silont, are you in position?"_

"Almost, which ship am I supposed to attack first?"

 _"I couldn't get any information on what ship their leader is on, is it possible for you to patch a video feed through?"_

Silont was dumbfounded, "I'm in the middle of the entire fleet! Do you know how risky that is? I can't risk them tracking an open video signal. This is the only encrypted form of communication I have with you and there's not a camera attached to it."

Liara sighed, _"Then all I can say is look for the most, 'official,' looking one. Good luck, Silont."_

 _Well, that was short and sweet. Okay Si, let's get to business._

He took a quick sweep to look for any ships the leader might be on. If the leader was anything like the attacker on the Citadel, then he had the most hatred for Shepard. That sometimes lead to greed, and the want to be known for the one to kill the invincible Shepard. So their ship might be the most powerful as well as the most classy.

It was pretty difficult to choose. Each ship had their own balance of weaponry, and each of them also had a moderate amount of red and black color to match the Chimera symbol. Most of each ship were just a plain gray. Silont twisted and turned his own fighter to get a good look at each and every one. If he couldn't base it off of weaponry and fanciness, then he would have to base it off of size.

But it was not needed. There was one ship in particular that was nearly all red and black. A large symbol was seen on each side of the ship. The ship itself was also large, so large in fact that Silont could fit his own ship inside of it.

 _And there it is._ He edged his ship closer and closer, around and around until he could find a good point to attack. He had to do it fast, his stealth tech couldn't last for long. He noticed the bridge of the ship was close to the top and to the back near where the main thrusters were positioned. The mix of anticipation, fear, and external heat was causing Silont to sweat underneath his mask uncontrollably.

The ship's HUD flared, and the sights we're set upon the wall that covered the bridge.

 _Okay, here we go._ He swallowed the thought. _3...2..._

He pulled the trigger, and all hell broke loose the next few moments. First thing that happened was that the enemy's ship was incapacitated due to the bridge being obliterated, the next was an awkward silence, and the next thing was raining hellfire.

It didn't take long for the enemy to realize what was going on. It surprised Silont to see that there was hardly any hesitation before they opened fire on him and the ship he took down. _No regard for potential survivors? I mean I know I'm the one that just killed a whole bunch of them, but really? That's just sickening!_

With his cloak gone he had to think fast about how he was going to fight all of them off. Looking at the dead ship in front of him, he went on pure instinct and lowered his fighter into the hole where the bridge used to be. _Okay, extra armor, let's do this._

The ship's carcass was taking heavy damage and Silont could see bodies of armored Chimera soldiers floating off into space in some of the holes, some of them on fire, melting, or already charred black to the level of being unrecognizable.

Luckily Silont could see just above the hole of the dead ship to see his incoming bogies...and all of the fire that was raining down on him. Silont had armor, but he wouldn't be able to hide in the shell for long. He turned his fighter around until it found a good grip on the insides. _This is going to leave some serious scratches._

He cringed as his locked fighter screeched from the friction of moving the larger ship. He turned until he was pointed towards one side of the ships that was coming onto him. He couldn't exactly fire his guns at them, not yet anyways. But it wasn't anything a couple blasts couldn't do. It tore through the innards of his shipception, allowing him opening room to fire out of.

"Excuse me, Lady Death, may I have this dance?"

A whir from the fighter and raining fire came out from within the carcass into the enemy. Thanks to some of the experimental weaponry he managed to scavenge off of previous battles he had with Chimera, it didn't take long for the shields to crack and the enemy was dusted. But more contacts were coordinating and closing in on him.

 _Let's pick up on their chatter._ Silont turned a knob and messed with his piloting terminal to eavesdrop on what the enemy was saying to each other, and boy was it an odd, unenergized frenzy.

 _"Where's the fire coming from?"_

 _"The Red Pharoah's gone zombie!"_

 _"Lay it on 'em! The enemy is inside!"_

 _"Who are we fighting?"_

 _"Surround it! We can't let it escape!"_

"At least we got them intimidated," Silont said to himself. He let off a few rounds of cannon fire and heavily damaged another enemy. Silont could see bits and pieces of scrap and debris fall away from his extra shell of armor, and he needed to start moving if he had any hope of keeping it on him long enough.

He adjusted the thrusters of his fighter to help him start moving left and right, but it was painfully slow as the carcass had so much mass to move, and only allowed him to dodge mere shot or two. He let off a volley of cannon fire, heavily damaging one ship and scrapping another. _I'm so dead. I am so, so, so dead._

There was too many of them. There was still enemies that he was fighting in front of him but he was still getting fired at from behind, and a single lucky shot could end him completely. He took a deep breath. _Plan B._

Screeches we're heard as his fighter lost grip of the carcass. He made a ninety degree turn and extended the docking pole he used to aid his entry into the Citadel. He made sure to stay towards the back of the carcass in order to make his plan work. _I'm gonna get so sick from this._

He pulled the thrusters slowly into overdrive, and the carcass began to spin, and backwards toward the other half of the fleet. After he got up to a good speed, he readjusted his ship once more to grip the carcass so he was spinning along with it.

 _"The hell is it doing?"_ One of the enemy ships chattered. "Wish I knew, buddy," Silont responded, knowing no one was going to hear him. He tried to get a glance at all the enemies that were spinning around him. He was already feeling nauseous. He flexed his core and focused on one ship nearest to him. He timed his shot and fired. _Missed...miserably._

 _This plan didn't go as well as I thought it would._ He spun like clockwork and it took another two shots before he demolished one. He started getting his timing down and managed to hit another ship and damaged it severely. Another spin and he landed a crippling shot on the bridge of another, taking it out of the battle. _How many is that now? Like, eight dead?_

He was starting to get very sick from the spinning, and the floating debris that was peeling from the carcass was obscuring his view. In that moment, Silont almost had a heart attack as the carcass had another burning hole torn through its side, mere yards in front of his ship. The blast was strong enough to effectively stop the carcass from spinning. Silont didn't even have a moment to react as another blast hit the back end, just above the aft of his fighter.

Silont thought he was dead, but the carcass was hit at an angle that threw his fighter out of it, exposing him.

The severity of the situation hit him.

"Oh shit..."

If he wasn't sweating and shaking in his suit before, he was sure now. There was still plenty of enemies that were left, and by plenty meant there was too many. He had to pull out of the fight. He jerked hard on the controls, forgetting he didn't have the extra mass to move, and spun out backwards. Luckily for him, the jerk allowed him to dodge a blast that came up behind him.

 _C'mon! I gotta ditch this party!_ He faced the direction home and prepared to jump to FTL speed. But there was still a wall of enemies in front of him. He picked a random target and let loose one of the few torpedoes that he had loaded.

The traveling speed of the torpedo seemed agonizingly slow. He was surprised how he hadn't been hit at all in between that time of the torpedo moving and finally colliding with its target, setting off a ball of fire with chunks of the ship flying out and colliding with others, causing more damage. At the same time, he locked the cockpit of his fighter, allowing for extra armor at the cost of access to some of his systems.

There was his window. He pushed on the throttle and gained speed through the carnage, narrowly escaping the other ships. Out of the flames, he switched gears and gained higher speed to jump to FTL. But a loud screech was gaining on him.

 _What the hell?_ Looking behind his fighter he could see a fighter almost exactly the size of his own, black like his only with rich red markings, like the color of blood.

 _"So this is the trouble maker?"_

A deep, gruff voice echoed through Silont's open channels. He didn't care, however, he just wanted to get away. He pushed harder on the throttle. Normally he wouldn't do so, as a sudden thrust in power would most likely tear bits off of his fighter, but this was an exception.

 _"Dammit. You may be fast enough to get away this time. But if that happens to be you, Shepard. I just want to say that you may have hurt us, but we will kill you. We will hunt you down like the low life you are. We will slaughter you. You may run, but I won't give up, here's a going away pres-"_

The channel faded out as Silont's fighter finally entered FTL. But the screeching did not stop. Silont looked over his shoulder, and was shocked to see a rocket gaining on him. _No...way._ _I'm dead. I'm dead, I'm dead, I'm de-_

The rocket was experimental, and couldn't handle FTL speeds for long. It burned out and exploded just behind his right wing, taking it off completely, interrupting Silont's thoughts in the process by knocking him out. Both by the explosion and by the sudden headrush of the sharp turn his fighter took. His eyes closed on the sight of open space through the large breach in his cockpit.

His eyes opened. He thought he was actually dead this time, but the speed of going sideways at a downwards angle reminded him of what happened.

His fighter was missing a wing and had a gaping hole in his cockpit the size of a full grown krogan. It dropped out of FTL but was still careening through space like a free meteoroid. Silont didn't know how long he's been flying through space like this, but he knew it couldn't be longer than a minute or two.

His chair was bent towards the hole to where he was just at the entrance of it, which didn't ease his nerves. He was glad to see his suit automatically locked its seals. Good thing quarian outfits were basically spacesuits that you wear all the time. Still though, Silont didn't know how long he would possibly survive this before colliding into something.

"Well Agent Mikera, this is definitely a double, 'Oh shit,' moment."

He grasped his chair and unbuckled his seat, working himself away from the breach. The controls were covered in black ash and burn marks but were still functional. _Thank the ancestors._ If the controls were functional, then so were his communications. He gave Liara a call, and he tried his best to stay patient until she picked up on the signal.

 _"Silont! Where are you? What happened?!"_

"I'll tell what happened after you help slow me down!"

 _"Slow you down?"_

"Yes! Half of my ship is gone and I'm falling through space like a one pound weight attached to an elcor!"

 _"Wha-? Nevermind, I'll get you out. Just tell me where you are."_

With a heavy sigh, Silont sent the constantly changing coordinates to Liara. He was getting woozy.

 _"Wow...that is fast."_

"Well, think of something, I'm too busy trying to stay awake," Silont yawned. "What would I give for some air resistance, or friction. Whatever it's called."

* * *

 **RANNOCH**

"After we freed your ship you were buried on a body closest to Rannoch as we could get during that time. The rest of the crew were cremated."

Across from Shepard sat a confused, old quarian man lost out of time, struggling and only sighing out of exasperation. "That's all and very good...John?" Shepard nodded. "But you have to forgive me for changing subjects and being rather direct minded. How did I come back? How are we on the homeworld?"

"I was getting to that. Although it would have been easier if you actually watched the vid I left for you."

"Not easy to do that when there's a killing machine that just casually walks into your room."

"I guess you're right. But you see, the reapers are practically the reason for everything."

"As have been blared throughout the galaxy for years," Rael said in a tired, viciously comedic tone.

"Yes, well. There was an old reaper here on Rannoch that practically took control of the Geth here. It's why they were so hostile. We managed to free the Geth by destroying the reaper, and made a deal afterwards where Rannoch could fall back into quarian hands."

"Perfect..." Rael trailed off and several moments passed. It was slightly awkward, but he finally got around to asking his other question. "How am I alive?"

Shepard sighed. "Same way I came back to life."

"I'm sorry?"

Shepard snook shook his head. "Sterilize the room again, Randy."

 _"Sure thing, Shepard-Captain,"_ came the geth's voice over the speakers. A simple mist cascaded from a sterilization unit installed in the ceiling.

"Wait...Shep-?"

Shepard pulled down his headwraps and leaned over, pulling the heavy helmet off his head. His neck felt exposed and his head felt smaller, his face particularly felt wrong, like it wasn't right to show it off. He looked up and kept a steely gaze into Rael's blue visor. _This isn't how I imagined our first meeting at all._

"You're alive?" Rael questioned simply, with a mix of disbelief and confusion. "My daughter spoke highly of you." Shepard flinched slightly. "But I heard you died? She was severely devastated. What happened?"

"Cerberus happened."

"Explain."

"They brought me back from the dead, rebuilt me through the use of something called, 'The Lazarus Project.' Like you, I was dead for about two years."

Rael chuckled. "Something tells me I'm not liking some details in omission."

A bit of sweat pooled on Shepard's neck. "We had the same goal, taking down the reapers, albeit for different reasons. So we worked together somewhat. But when the time came, I destroyed both the reapers and Cerberus. I managed to scavenge the Lazarus Project before they fell and...here you are."

"Wait? Gone?" Rael questioned. "Those racist bastards are finally gone?"

"Yes, sir. Now they're just a broken faction of mercenaries hellbent on my destruction. Call themselves Chimera now. Don't worry, though, we have Silont going to clean them up."

"Silont? Didn't know he was still around."

"Isn't he on special service? Why wouldn't he be?" Shepard questioned.

"Last I heard he was following my orders for once and doing a recon mission. Was a good way to get him away and learn something useful. Then I heard he got tangled up with another geth patrol before I...died."

"So you were the one that sent him out on that mission? Yes, he told me about it. Very impressive feat he did. Took down twelve ships," Shepard informed him, slightly on hostile edge.

"Twelve? Wow. How's he doing now?"

"I'm not sure, haven't seen him in a couple days."

"Sounds like him, always going off doing his own thing."

"Yeah, well, he's been a great help in protecting us."

Shepard couldn't tell behind the blue visor, but judging from the slight pause and a stronger glint of light in one of his eyes, Shepard could guess that Rael was raising an eyebrow. _Why did I say us? Please don't question._ Shepard cursed in his thoughts.

Relieved, Rael continued on. "Quite. I hope he is well, wherever he is. But I have a more pressing question..."

"...Does anyone know of my revival?"

Shepard stopped breathing for a second, and gave a strenuous cough. His lungs burned, he quickly searched for the little white machine and scanned it over, checking to see if anything in his system changed. Nothing.

"Are you alright, Captain Shepard?"

Shepard held up a finger, signaling to give him a moment. He picked up his helmet and raised it over his head and pulled it snug around his neck. He was more comfortable behind the golden visor. The air was more safe in his helmet and he took a couple deep breaths, slowing down his painful coughs.

"Apologies," Shepard coughed again, "Sorry about that."

"Yes, well, I'll keep in mind to ask about you're condition, but my question still stands."

 _Wow, straight to the point._ "No one but me and a few geth," he replied nervously. His stress level went slightly higher when he saw Rael bow his head.

Rael sighed. "Probably for the best. Shepard, I need off this planet."

Shepard took a moment to process this sudden request. "Ad-...Zorah...I didn't help bring you back for nothing. I was hoping to ease the reveal of your revival to the quarians."

"I don't know if you know this Captain, but there are good reasons to why I died."

"I know, I was on the ship, I saw what happened. Don't worry, your name is safe."

Rael shook his head, "I'm glad. But I still committed the crime, and even so, how are we supposed to just... _reintroduce_ me? Years Shepard, I'm sure they already have some sad idiot to replace me."

Shepard bit his tongue. _If only you could see who it was._ "We'll cross that bridge when we get to it. But right now you need to regain strength. The orange glow will fade after awhile."

"I don't know if I can thank you yet, Captain. But I appreciate you coming by and informing me of these events. I'd like to know more but I already need rest from this. We should talk later."

Shepard gave a knowing nod. It is quite a shock to be revived to see a couple years suddenly slip by. It's disorienting, and somewhat depressing. Shepard wheeled his chair over to the old quarian and stared at him, unsure whether to offer consolement. Rael tipped his head slightly, questioningly.

"Yes, absolutely. I need rest myself. The days are very long here," Shepard answered awkwardly. "I'll see you later," and started for the door.

"Shepard," he turned his head, "Maybe next time you could tell me why a human is in that suit. I'd very much like to know."

Unsure whether it was hostile or not, Shepard answered anyway, "Yes, absolutely. Take care Ad- Zorah." Shepard continued wheeling and opened the clean, spotless door. Before he could close the door behind himself all of the way, he heard a faint voice from Rael, who shifted from sitting on the couch to standing in front of the window in the hot, afternoon sun.

"I wonder what my daughter is doing."

A shiver of fear ran down his spine. _At least he hasn't forgotten her, but_ _w_ _as reviving him the right thing to do?_


End file.
